nicknock Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 So i posted last week about this guy i went on one date with, had all the fireworks etc then had a few texts but he didnt arrange anything else. I see him all the time where we live in bars etc, so ran into him and he invited himself along to the party i was going to! He didnt end up coming but text and said he had wanted to see me. I text him the next day asking if he wanted to meet again at some point, given he'd told me he did the night before and his response was, he was too busy!! So i was like wtf!? Anyway, left it but saw him again last week when i was out with friends. He would not leave me alone, didnt take his eyes off me all night etc! I was polite, but wouldnt take him on, he was being incredibly flirty but i thought nope, not giving in. So as i was leaving, he grabbed me and asked when id see him again! I said, i thought he was too busy and his response was, look i really like you, but dont want a relationship, BUT dont just want to sleep around either, would like to hang out etc. I said no thanks! Im not saying i want a realtionship after one date, but im certainly not spending time with someone knowing it wont go anywhere! Anyway, i saw him AGAIn last night whilst i was out with my ex boyfriend (we're still friends). The new guy asked me if i was on a date and i said no, just friends etc. Anyway, he made a point of moving to the other side of the pub so he could see us! Everytime my ex went to the loo, he;d look over, smile, etc etc, collared me when i went to the loo. I think it served him right a bit to be honest, he's laid his cards on the table in terms of 'not wanting a relationship' so why shouldnt i go out with other guys. Anyway, i guess his behaviour is jst very confusing! Friends have commented on the way he is around me, i mean without sounding like an idiot, he doesnt take his eyes off me, when we talk theres something there etc. After our first date, i text him first etc, so im thinking maybe i just made too much effort. I havent contacted him since he said he was 'too busy' to meet again and i wont, but im thinking maybe i just play the long game now!? He doesnt act like a typical 'lad' in that he wants to sleep around etc, (i dont think) and his behaviour suggests he does like me or whatever. Just not sure how to play it now or if its even worth it! I suppose usually id not even bother, but honestly i never like people and to have such a great initial connection with someone means im considering pursuing it! Help please!?
D-Lish Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 Don't allow this to turn into one of those situations where you find yourself hurt and wondering what the heck happened 3 months from now. The red flags are out there, and they are waving. He doesn't follow through, he doesn't make any sort of effort beyond flirting with you when he happens to run into you- and he's told you outright that he's not interested in a relationship. If you do get involved with him knowing what you know- you'll have no one but yourself to blame when things don't work out. A guy that's really interested will make an effort. He'd contact you and set up a proper date if that's what he was actually interested in. He's told you straight up he doesn't want a relationship (you should listen and believe this)- if you date him, he's going to take that as consent that you're fine with what little he is willing to offer. I know it sucks to feel chemistry with someone and not be able to pursue it, but you have to face that if he really wanted to go out again, he would have made the effort to set up another date. You're worth the effort right? The only way to convey this to a guy like him is to blow him off.
sugarmomma Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 Yup. What D-Lish said. He's just fishing with no bait.
Author nicknock Posted March 29, 2011 Author Posted March 29, 2011 Yeah i know you're right, i just needed to hear it Im getting too old for messing around!
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