Lalmazan Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 Do you really know this guy, this guy who you all think is the nicest guy, who you think couldn't possibly be capable of hurting anyone? Do you know what he tells his girlfriend of 4 years, the girl who gave her whole heart to him, who put all her trust in him, who gave up everything just for him, just to be with him, who even forgave him after finding a video of another girl on his cellphone, a video that he had taken staring at another girl's breasts, and finding out that he was also doing this kind of thing the whole time they've been together, even during the times while they were all out together with her son at a Whimsy's fun fair, he tried to record what was underneath another woman's skirt! DID YOU KNOW THIS? Well, he tells his girlfriend, the girl whom you all thought that he loved and adored after being together for 4 years, he told her that he never truly loved her, that the whole thing was all an act, that he was never really truly himself, that he wanted to be free and that he wanted to end it for quite some time now but, just didn't because it would've made him look like the ******* really was, so he stayed with her until he could find the right opportunity to make it seem like it was all her fault. Did you know he even waited until after she traveled from another state just to see him, already knowing he felt this way, he didn't tell her then but, instead he had her come see him anyway just so that he could have sex with her for one last week? DID YOU KNOW THIS? She asked him why? Why it was so sudden, this break up? She was convinced he had to have loved her for him to have her come see him from all that way just to be with him but, his reply was, "What you mistaken for love was really horniness." DID YOU KNOW HE SAID THIS TO HER? He said this to a girl who shared a bed with him the past 4 years, who put up with his laziness, his selfishness, his insecurities of himself, his neglect for her and for his own self respect, his tantrums of having to be one driving while she worked all day, who forgave him even after he repeated lied to her. He said this to the woman who loved him unconditionally despite all this. Out of a hurtful fury, she threatened him. She said she was going to tell everyone his dirty little secret, his perverse and sick little secret. And his reply to her was, "Go ahead and you'll see what I'll do to you!" "You don't have anything on me, I've never done anything like that to you!" She said but, he did, he did have something on her. See being that he wasn't the man she thought he was, who she thought who loved her and respected her, who she thought she could trust completely. She had sent him a naughty picture of herself and he threatened to use that against her. "Remember that picture you sent to me?" He said. She said, "You wouldn't. Would you really do that to me?" "If you tell everyone what I did, I will." He said. "That only shows what more of a horrible person you really are! Go ahead, I don't care who sees! People should know the kind of person you really are and that I only trusted someone who I thought loved me. I could always take it off Facebook anyway" She confidently replied, sure he wouldn't be that cruel and that he was only bluffing. "Who said I was gonna post it on Facebook? I could post it all over the web if I want to." He said back. This went on, and yet still she loved him despite all the hurtful things he said. She just couldn't believe the things he said to her. She couldn't believe it could be true. I mean, she said some awful things too but it was all out of anger and she never meant any of it and she would immediate apologize for it after hearing how hurtful it sounded and he knew this about her. But he meant every word that he had said, he hadn't taken any of them back, showed he had no remorse of it neither, his cruelty was genuine and he wasn't just saying that so she would leave him alone. He wanted to hurt her and he did. He called her insecure and dependent. When he too himself was insecure of himself, his body but was always too lazy to do anything about it, didn't care much about eating right or exercising even after she had bought him the workout equipment, and he too is dependent, he's still living off his parents money, not working and not going to school. I don't call that independence, I call that stupid. She may not have been living in her own house or have owned her own car but since she was a teenager she cared for her family, she would help her sisters clean their homes and babysit their children, she would keep her home clean and she had been taking care of her son alone since she was 17 years old without any child support. Her parents were poor so she had to start working to earn her money, and yes, she was insecure but it was with good reason, her son's father cheated on her, her next boyfriend physically abused her and made fun of her weight and appearance, then her last boyfriend looks up porn on his computer and records other women without their knowledge on his cellphone and he lied about ever loving her for the past 4 years! We all have our issues, whatever they may be. Doesn't mean that he was any better than her just because his parents paid for him to go to college or that he went to a better school than she did, or that he drove a car and she didn't. He's a hypocrite, a hypocrite who says he hates liars but is one. He thinks just because he doesn't look an ******* he isn't one, well he is. What gives him the right to judge us, to judge her? I know this to be true, he would never find another girl who would still love him after something like this, who would forgive him for anything he did wrong. Needless to say things between these two are over and who knows if they'll ever get back again after something like that. Now ask yourself, do you really know him? Because I sure as hell thought I did.
D78 Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Yes, I knew him after the first paragraph. Now you know him, too. Your future is brighter, because you can add all of that crap to your list of things to avoid when seeking a trustworthy mate. Include the fact that no one can respect a person who will stick around after being subjected to all that crap. Another lesson to learn - NEVER EVER let anyone have naked pics of you. He may love you now. How will he feel in 25 years, when your responsible, hard work has paid off and you are the CEO of a big important company, and your ex is... unemployed maybe because his parents disowned his lazy a**... and he is calling TMZ to sell those pics... These are all lessons we learn on our journey. Okay, some of us were lucky enough not to trust anyone enough to take a naked pic... Try to forgive him and yourself (and your baby's daddy who should support his child). Try to recognize that maybe he said hurtful, threatening things to you because you said hurtful, threatening things to him. Maybe he thinks you interpret his statements in the same way you think he interprets your statements. And, since only you understand the dynamic between you and your ex, feel free to ignore paragraphs 3-5 or whatever is appropriate. All I can say for sure is that this will pass. It doesn't seem possible, but it will. One day you will wake up and it will be better. From now until that day, life will be hell. Like Churchill said, if you're going through hell, keep going. Good luck.
SummersEve Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Breaking up sucks and it hurts and you do feel like the victim anyway when you did not want to break up. Why he chose now to add on that extra hurt with the other things he said to you, I have no idea. I think it was nasty and uncalled for. I think, though, that it is just time to stop. Do not threaten him, expose him, talk to him, fight with him, or take him back. It has probably been a shock and it takes time to process. How about for the next week or two just do nothing beyond what you have to do and whatever makes you feel better (besides talking to him). Eat ice cream, rent movies, get your nails done, do something with your kid. It is his right to move on and that's what he has said he wants to do. The ONLY correct thing to say is "Good-bye." Why am I getting the feeling that you are going to look back in a couple of months and be glad he's gone?
Fufu Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Be glad you see this side of him now than later. Don't let what he do to you destroy you.
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