brenda collins Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 To cut a long story short I got pregnant and had an abortion. I had been seeing the guy for a few months and liked him a great deal. The abortion was not something I particularly wanted to do but I could not have financially supported the child on my own and the father was very adamant he didn't want me to have the child. After the abortion the guy stayed in contact but we put an end to the relationship. Although he had supported me throughout the ordeal as soon as it was done he wasn't around to talk too or to help me with my emotions. A year has passed and we have been in touch on and off. Last week me and my friends were out for a friends birthday and he happened to be in the same place we were. His friend was flirting with me. He did not like this and went mad and had a massive go at me, resulting in him banning me from anywhere he was at the party. I ended up kissing the friend out of spite really. At the end of the night I got a call from him saying he still had feelings etc etc.. And all he wanted to do that night was to be together and forget the past but was that wrong. We had a long conversation and he asked me to go round to chat and have a cuddle which luckily i declined. The next day sober, he apologised and said awhat a bad idea it would have been if we did ened up in bed together. However, he added that a part of him still wanted to go back. No conclusion was made just that we would speak soon. My head is so confused right now. I still love this guy, I think because of the abortion I always will. However, I am scared to get hurt and it seems this guy does not know what he wants. What should i do now? Advice please....
Author brenda collins Posted March 28, 2011 Author Posted March 28, 2011 please advise Im falling apart
LittleTiger Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 This may not be what you want to hear Brenda but, for the sake of your sanity, I think you would be best keeping away from this man. The relationship is doomed from the start because of what happened. You will never truly forgive him for his part in the decision you made and, even if you think you can, it will always be there like an elephant between you. He may forget about it in time, but you probably won't and having him around will just act as a constant reminder. If this man had loved you he wouldn't have been so keen for you to have the abortion. The reason you think you still love him, is because he was the child's father. It's understandable and obviously you will feel drawn to him but that's not a good basis for any relationship. Your best bet is to avoid him and, if possible, never see him again.
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 as soon as it was done he wasn't around to talk too or to help me with my emotions And all he wanted to do that night was to be together and forget the past You know what they say about forgetting the past. All that will happen in this situation is a repeat of the past. He didn't learn anything from the situation and neither did you. I'm not trying to be mean here but seriously - you and he are no more emotionally ready now than you were then. Do you think that you and he will have any more of a success with a relationship than you did before? He wants you back but only if you don't pose a problem for him like your situation did before. I wouldn't trust this guy with my emotions at all. He knows exactly what he wants: a good time, and only a good time. He's only in it for the good stuff, and will likely run again if those good times turn sour.
Author brenda collins Posted March 29, 2011 Author Posted March 29, 2011 Thanks for the replies so far. I think your right. I do feel I have a bond with him because of the termination. I cant help thinking that maybe I got pregnant because it was meant to be and that I went against my fate. When we were together there was a special bond. I have never felt that much chemistry with anyone before. I guess I worry that I will never find that again. The question is is loving someone and chemistry enough.. In this situation maybe there are too many things in the way. The biggest one being that this man seems to have no idea what he wants. Should I leave it to him now to get in contact? If he wants this enough surely he will fight for me?????
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