TyrionLannister Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 I have not posted in a couple of months. I'll make a real a quick synopsis of my situation. My wife came home a couple of days after Christmas and told me she was not in love with me anymore. I am partially to blame for this as I have not been there emotionally for her at times. she always needed more and I would try to give more but would always revert back to my old self. I have been seeing an individual counselor who has helped me understand that this is not all my fault (innitially I believed it was). I did not share this before becuase I thought it made me look weak or less of a man and maybe it does, but my wife is just flat out mean to me and she has been for a very long time. whatever I do it is just not good enough. I put the milk in the wrong spot, I missed cobwebs in the bathroom while cleaning and the list goes on and one. My wife has mothered me for a long time and I let her. she yells at me for the slightest thing and I feel as if I am walking around on egg shells all of the time. I have been talking top about this as a result of my counseling, but now she gets mad whenever I bring up that she is yelling at me. No win situation. My fault because I let her do it. I went to counseling to see if I could become a better person and help my marriage, now I just don't know if I want to be a part of the marriage anymore. For three months I have bent over backwards to do what my wife said I should have been doing all along. showing her affection (though she does not want it now), going out with my friends, and trying to be more outgoing. One day I'll wake up and it seems as if things are getting better and the next it seems as if we're right back to the day she told me that she did not love me anymore. We have just started couples counseling, but even while I am in it with her it just seems like I am being blamed for everything that has gone wrong in our marriage. My wife and I have a two year old boy and a baby on the way, so I do not want to give up on the marriage. However, it is very hard to get along with my wife anymore. After getting up this morning with my son and letting her sleep in, she starts critiquing me again. These may not make any sense to anyone, but it is more for me I guess.
Duckduckgoose Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 Just post what you are feeling. I am not an expert so I don't know what to say but there are others that are far wiser than I who read these boards
tobydog1 Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 Hi Tyrion I can only offer a few insights here. Having a 2 year old is exhausting. Having another on the way is more so. I am sure it is hormones that are playing a big part here. I speak from experience. I was a nightmare and then when he was born I was so so tired all the time, as my son did not sleep well at all. It all changes your mood. You say a lot of things you don't mean and you just can't help it at times...... Have you discussed this as being a possible issue? Keep us all posted D
Author TyrionLannister Posted March 29, 2011 Author Posted March 29, 2011 I told my wife that I was done. That I was not going to take her yelling, sarcasm, and what not anymore. Her response was for me to get out. I told her that I would not move out of my house again ( I did it in January when she said she needed space). After I cooled down, I explained to her how I felt. I told her that I am not done with the marriage that I am just done with her being mean to me. I told her that I am the only person that she treats this way, and she agreed. I told her that I feel that I have been working my tail off in this marriage (recently) and she is just not trying. She agreed. I told her that I believe it is because she is just not happy with me and that she may not ever be happy with me. . She agreed again. She asked what we should do about this and I was at a loss. I cannot imagine getting divorced. I want to cry every time I imagine my wife or child with another man. This just sucks. I've handled things poorly, but it is evident that my wife is unwilling to try. She talked about what we should do in the meantime until the baby is born, and she brought up one of us moving out again. I am just so damn depressed.
Recommended Posts