Should i text her, maybe it'l be easier if i exhaust my last option...

[roman_pavluchenko]

Well we've now been broken up longer than we dated (2 months) but i still really care about her. Found out the other day when i was having a go at my mate i may have said something that upset my ex and it destroyed me. She dumped me because she didn't feel the same anymore, because of a few things that happened in the last week. To sum it up, i got drunk and started getting angry at the fact that she always wanted to do things in a group, i thought she may have been nervous since i was her first boyfriend, i could've been right because she is a very shy person. Whilst dumping me she cried, asked to be good friends and i remained at her house for 2 hours and we talked as if nothing had gone wrong and started playing guitar hero...

 

I went back to her house a few days, because her friend told me that those 2 hours really confused her because it was like nothing had happened, i told her i would change and that i was sorry for everything and could we work something out, she said it couldn't happen. But continued to tell me about things that happened to her at work, like she use to do, i pretty much ignored it and drove off whilst holding back tears. I went away for a week and came back, asked her how she was, she said she had been great (not what i heard from her friends though) and asked me about my holiday and stuff, things obviously weren't the same, we didn't really talk for long and it wasn't a very exciting conversation. I deleted her from facebook out of anger. She got really pissed off at me and was saying i was really immature. I didn't try explain myself, but we saw eachother since were part of the same social circle and things seemed OK.

 

I texted her a few weeks after, congratulating her on her drivers license. She texted back saying "haha thank you, but i'm getting it on wednesday instead! :P" i didn't text back. Another week passes, i send her a message explaining that i was sorry for deleting her off facebook and for acting like a tool and that it was my fault for being so insecure and she had made the right descision. My friend told me that she texted him straight after, asking if he told me to send the message and why i sent it. She replied a day after this saying "thank you for apologising, i'm not saying it's your fault either." I didn't reply.

 

So i know that i sent her a message apologising for what happened and that i wanted to work things out, but that was straight after we broke up and i was pulling any thought of something i did wrong out of my head and pouring it into a depressing message and apologising hundreds of times, it has to be the most pathetic thing you can lay eyes on. In the 2 months we've been split she hasn't tried contacting me once. I know if she really wanted it, she would do it (contact me that is), but she is a really shy person, deleting her off facebook really really ticked her off and yeah. She could be completely over me, it appears to be that way, it's just she looked pretty miserable at this party we were both at. I haven't had a decent conversation with her for a while and i miss that, so i was think of sending her a plain text saying "hey, how are you?" see if she replys and go from there.

The plus side is, i've tried the last approach, being genuine and starting with an average conversation, if i get nothing from it, not even a reply then im pretty much back to where i am right now exept i know that she has no interest in me at all.

The negative side is, i would have broken no contact and might be set back a little while longer. But lets be honest, i don't think no contact is going to bring her back to me and that is ultimately what i want...

[flitzanu]

there's not a positive and negative side of breaking NC for you. it's negative. if she wants to work it out, she can contact you. you're not going to magically wake her up by sending her "hey how are you?" it just doesn't work that way, sadly.

 

sounds like you've already apologized, and she didn't react to that yet, and even contacted someone else asking why you were writing her instead of just contacting you back. trying to contact her now is only going to make you expect a response or start looking for reasons that aren't there, and it's going to push you back further than "where you are now".

 

trust me.