LifesontheUp Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 I find it telling the OP hasn't been back to the thread for a while despite having been on LS
donnamaybe Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Donna, you are certainly one who has said things like 'we don't need to specify we all "know" who we're talking about'. So no, I shall take yours and jthorne's lead here. But I think that reading this thread should make it VERY clear (and I can't even quote them, because I've put most of those on Ignore )Well, I can certainly tell a few who would make the list, but this is a very subjective issue whereas the issue we were talking about when I was reticent to name names was a much more direct one and needed no specifications. I guess I must've made the list then since you didn't bother to say otherwise. Can't say I understand why as I haven't been insulting to you in the least. Unless, of course, you deem disagreement as an insult.
donnamaybe Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Because people are rude and pepper their posts with thinly-veiled vicious sideswipes. Don't they though?
donnamaybe Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 And, yet, the people who do the relentless stomping over innocent folks get a free pass. Empathy. Yeah, that's it. Empathy.Call me crazy, but I think behavior is MUCH more important than words.
LifesontheUp Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Call me crazy, but I think behavior is MUCH more important than words. Talk is cheap as they say
jthorne Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 Call me crazy, but I think behavior is MUCH more important than words. I'll say! I didn't miss the "hostile and close minded" comment. I guess if hating cheating, and wanting to hold people to a higher standard (ie if you're unhappy, work on it or divorce or wait for the OP to be free before embarking upon a relationship) makes one close-minded, then I guess most of society is close-minded. And maybe to a lesser extent, even hostile towards infidelity. As much as OP like to say "everyone does it," most people are simply not empathetic towards infidelity.
WorldIsYours Posted April 5, 2011 Posted April 5, 2011 I find it telling the OP hasn't been back to the thread for a while despite having been on LS I concur.
Silly_Girl Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 Well, I can certainly tell a few who would make the list, but this is a very subjective issue whereas the issue we were talking about when I was reticent to name names was a much more direct one and needed no specifications. I guess I must've made the list then since you didn't bother to say otherwise. Can't say I understand why as I haven't been insulting to you in the least. Unless, of course, you deem disagreement as an insult. I would respectfully ask you not to attempt to speak for me. Secondly, could you quote your post where it was DIRECT AND NEEDED NO SPECIFICATIONS. Because, if someone asked the question as to of whom you were speaking, I would suggest it DID need specification. And as long as I have been on this board, when I have asked you for names of posters you're referring to, you've refused.
White Flower Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 Um, I don't recall responding to you at all, but you might want to consider why you took my words so personally. And since you know I was never an OW for 20 years, I assume that this is your attempt to spoof my character, when I've done nothing to you personally. So really, the way I'm reading it, you've no more empathy than I.I said you (general you) and I (general I) so it would appear that you took it personally jthorne. And I have been away for a long time and just recently came back. When did you change your story about the 20 years? How am I spoofing you? Further, what does any of that have anything to do with empathy? Not a thing. By cheating?By leaving a sham of a M. Read original post, don't twist it. I completely agree with you here, but I don't think that was the real reason for WF's post. I think the real reason was to bring up the 20-year thing. I've stated several times that I overly exaggerated the timeline because someone IRL was reading my posts. So to bring it up over and over again seems rather malicious. Why, I'm not sure. To exploit a perceived weakness, I guess. To me, that is empathy in reverse! I did not know about changing your story due to a 'reader'. My intent was not malicious, but you're going to call it what you want anyway because that is just your style. That is not empathy in reverse, that is calling it what it is. I have noticed a select few posters beat up on you about your history as you've told it. Yeah. That certainly is not posting with empathy.Hmm, when you do it it's called calling someone out, when others do it it's called beating up. THAT is empathy in reverse. I can see this thread has been taken over by those who don't not believe in posting with empathy. I'm going to graciously bow out now. Night all.
mizliz Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 Why? From my point of view? Because a lot of good stuff is buried. Because people are rude and pepper their posts with thinly-veiled vicious sideswipes. Because we can do better. Because it detracts when posters come here desperate for good support. Because it's an board for "those who find themselves involved with a committed partner." and lots of posters come here to bash, or who don't belong to the group mentioned at the top of the board. And other reasons. I can oppose the bashing even if I don't feel it personally, can't I? Especially seeing as I have empathy for those who do feel ganged up on, or unable to talk straight for fear of generating negative attention. Support doesn't mean "in agreement". Support is to tolerate. What would you have people say? "Yay...whoohoo, carry on with your affair"? That isn't support, that is validation, which, has already been addressed.
Silly_Girl Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 Support doesn't mean "in agreement". Support is to tolerate. What would you have people say? "Yay...whoohoo, carry on with your affair"? That isn't support, that is validation, which, has already been addressed. I have definitely answered your question many, many times before. Including in this thread.
Author OWoman Posted April 6, 2011 Author Posted April 6, 2011 Sadly, the proportion of "on-topic" posts to personal attacks is skewed heavily towards the latter, despite the aim of the thread being the converse. Oh well I guess the world - or at least, that subset represented here - really is a darker, more ignorant and more vicious place than I'd hoped. To those who posted within the TOS, on topic, addressing the content matter and not individual posters, with civility and respect - thanks for participating.
Silly_Girl Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 Cheating darkens. I am sorry that your experiences have left you in such a very dark place. I hope it is temporary for you.
greengoddess Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 I am sorry that your experiences have left you in such a very dark place. I hope it is temporary for you. :laugh: i love these responses. In other words you are just bitter. No silly girl. People just think affairs are wrong. Are you going to cheer on affairs still when you are happily married? I am sorry you never experienced a happy marriage to know how good they can be. Maybe this one will be the happy one that will change your opinion of marriage and affairs. I hope so for you.
Silly_Girl Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 :laugh: i love these responses. In other words you are just bitter. No silly girl. People just think affairs are wrong. Are you going to cheer on affairs still when you are happily married? I am sorry you never experienced a happy marriage to know how good they can be. Maybe this one will be the happy one that will change your opinion of marriage and affairs. I hope so for you. There are some posters on here who seem utter prisoners of their bitterness and that person seemed to be the latest in a long line of similar personalities who I'd tar with the same brush. You misread my post if you're calling me bitter.
greengoddess Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 There are some posters on here who seem utter prisoners of their bitterness and that person seemed to be the latest in a long line of similar personalities who I'd tar with the same brush. You misread my post if you're calling me bitter. No I was saying you were saying that he was just bitter. Know what I'm saying? Which now you did just say.
Silly_Girl Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 No I was saying you were saying that he was just bitter. Know what I'm saying? Which now you did just say. Not a scooby, no. I definitely thought I read your post correctly. It was very clear.
donnamaybe Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 (edited) Secondly, could you quote your post where it was DIRECT AND NEEDED NO SPECIFICATIONS. Because, if someone asked the question as to of whom you were speaking, I would suggest it DID need specification. I would suggest, more aptly, that SOMEONE was hoping to help me get infracted. That's not what someone with empathy would do, is it? Edited April 6, 2011 by donnamaybe
jthorne Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 :laugh: i love these responses. In other words you are just bitter. No silly girl. People just think affairs are wrong. Are you going to cheer on affairs still when you are happily married? I am sorry you never experienced a happy marriage to know how good they can be. Maybe this one will be the happy one that will change your opinion of marriage and affairs. I hope so for you.I read your post correctly. Someone else was saying that if they hate cheating, they must be bitter. I believe I touched on the same thought in a previous post. Considering that most of society is anti-affair, it seems a bit close-minded to make that assumption, but ok. I am interested to the answer to your bolded question, though.
desertIslandCactus Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 Sadly, the proportion of "on-topic" posts to personal attacks is skewed heavily towards the latter, despite the aim of the thread being the converse. Oh well I guess the world - or at least, that subset represented here - really is a darker, more ignorant and more vicious place than I'd hoped. To those who posted within the TOS, on topic, addressing the content matter and not individual posters, with civility and respect - thanks for participating. The thread was started to incite, provoke - as is this last statement.
jthorne Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 The thread was started to incite, provoke - as is this last statement.*facepalm* I fell for it again! When did referring to fellow LS members as dark, ignorant and viscious become empathetic? Hypocritical, maybe. Empathetic, not so much.
thomasb Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 Hey, we learn from our mistakes. Or at least most of us do!
donnamaybe Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 When did referring to fellow LS members as dark, ignorant and viscious become empathetic? Hypocritical, maybe. Empathetic, not so much. Empathy is the topic, is it not?
jthorne Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 Empathy is the topic, is it not? Well, I thought it was, but it appears to simply be a vehicle for the OP to call us all dark, viscious, and ignorant! Maybe it's just more proof that some are here for exactly the reason they said they were: "to piss people off."
Jane Deaux Posted April 6, 2011 Posted April 6, 2011 Wow. Been watching this thread. Arguing and fighting and not even reading clearly what each other is saying. Taking it in the most ugly way you can. Turning things around and making it say what you want it to say. A bunch of squabbling meant to incite. So clearly not empathetic. (last part added so as to stay on topic)
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