St.Dogmael Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 Hi Everyone, I'm new to this forum and I have an issue that I hope some of you can weigh in on... I met a great girl at an art event about 7 weeks ago, and we agreed to meet up for coffee. That took a few weeks to coordinate; a few weeks later we had our first official "date" on St. Patrick's Day (about 10 days ago now). First date: we went for drinks and I surprised her by spontatneously kissing her on the walk to her car (she was a little caught off-guard, but reciprocated). A few days later she came to a performance that I was involved with, but as she was with a friend & I was with my peeps, we didn't get to hang out much. Second date: 5 days after the first date, we went to a wine bar and made out briefly at the end of the night. Left things open-ended and a couple days later she texted me to invite me to a thing she was going to on Saturday. I couldn't join because I had other plans, but we ended up going out on Sunday... Third date: Sunday night we went to dinner/drinks (she suggested the place), had a great conversation and made out briefly in my car afterwards. During the date she invited me to an opera (one week from today) that she has 2 tickets to. That's a week from today and as of now I'm planning on going, but I'm not sure... Here's the problem: I like this girl ALOT, and I realize I'm bringing some baggage to the table. I got out of a 7-year relationship a year ago. Although I've hooked up/hung out with a handful of girls in the last year, this is the first one that I see real potential with. But at the end of the night tonight, she told me "I have a really busy week, I'm pretty much busy every night this week, but I'll see you on Sunday." I played it cool, but it actually REALLY stung. We have great, long in-depth conversations, but the physical stuff has been minimal. I feel like I've tried to gently push it, but without much success. I know this girl comes from a conservative background (her father is a pastor), but I still feel like the physical intimacy (a few brief makeouts) has been disproportionate to the time we've spent conversing- almost like she's only just attracted enough to want to kiss me for a few minutes. I also hate not knowing when I'm going to see her again. She doesn't seem to have a problem with that, which bothers me; I've pretty much felt weird every time I leave a date with her, because the end of the night seems so abrupt and I don't know when I'm going to see her again... Part of me feels like there must absolutely be something amiss here, if I'm even bothering to submit this question! On the other hand, I know that this girl is independent, legitimately super-busy and hasn't been in a lot of relationships... so maybe I'm overreacting due to my own vulnerable (rebounding) state. Thoughts?? Million thanks in advance!!
allenmj Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 I know that this girl is independent, legitimately super-busy and hasn't been in a lot of relationships... My friend, you have answered your own question. Let things develop at it's own pace and enjoy the building relationship you have going here. It sounds to me like everything is falling into place as it should. The most successful relationships are the ones that develop without needing any major re-arranging of a persons previous routine. Good luck!
Author St.Dogmael Posted March 30, 2011 Author Posted March 30, 2011 Thanks, Allenmj. I think I do need to take a step back and not try to force things... we'll see how it goes I really appreciate your feedback!
interfuse Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 You are even lucky she wants to see you again and told you what day she's going to see you right away. That is GOOD sign. Don't worry. I know so many people including myself that's been in situations where the guy just can't see me because at all and gives me an excuse on why and that guy wasn't even busy at all! He didn't have a job and all he did was sit at all, but he just didn't feel like it's worthy to see me by taking the train or getting a ride from his friend. No, he didn't drive, but still he could've found ways to see me. Just chose not to.
Author St.Dogmael Posted March 31, 2011 Author Posted March 31, 2011 Thanks for the feedback, Interfuse. Yeah, sometimes people just use "I'm busy" as an all-purpose excuse. In my case I know this girl really is super-busy; she told me about how crazy busy her life is the very first time we went out. I guess I'll just hang in there and see how it goes
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