StandingO Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 One woman I know (who's husband is lovely but not nearly on the same sexual level as she is) has been flirting with a guy online that lives over 1000 miles away. They have met twice from business travels. She tells me she is head over heels in love with this man and he is with her. Problem is the long distance and they are both married. She wants to leave her husband for him one day. Sooner than later. I get the impression they are a wonderful match. Both have kids but both seem like they want to risk everything and give it a go one day soon. The guy is waiting for his kid to turn 18 next year and will likely not leave his wife until this happens. It sounds romatic and exciting. Both are not fullfilled in there current marriages. Can it work? I seek other opinions and advice for her because mine alone does not mean that much. I am a romatic at heart and it would be nice to hear the opinions of others.
HeavenOrHell Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 it doesn't sound romantic to me it sounds deceitful, I would not want to be with a man who is stringing his wife alone until their son turns 18, and if I was that wife I would want to know NOW. I don't find people's deceit or cheating romantic or exciting. If they're unhappy in their marriages they should be talking to their spouses about it, and either working through things or splitting up before they even think about being with someone else. They shouldn't be taking the easy way out by cheating, marriage is supposed to be for life, otherwise why did they bother marrying in the first place. Two families with kids will be ripped apart, how romantic I'm not sure if this is a joke message, sorry if it's not, but I'm sure you know these sort of posts (cheating) don't get happy responses One woman I know (who's husband is lovely but not nearly on the same sexual level as she is) has been flirting with a guy online that lives over 1000 miles away. They have met twice from business travels. She tells me she is head over heels in love with this man and he is with her. Problem is the long distance and they are both married. She wants to leave her husband for him one day. Sooner than later. I get the impression they are a wonderful match. Both have kids but both seem like they want to risk everything and give it a go one day soon. The guy is waiting for his kid to turn 18 next year and will likely not leave his wife until this happens. It sounds romatic and exciting. Both are not fullfilled in there current marriages. Can it work? I seek other opinions and advice for her because mine alone does not mean that much. I am a romatic at heart and it would be nice to hear the opinions of others.
waterstone Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 it doesn't sound romantic to me it sounds deceitful, I would not want to be with a man who is stringing his wife alone until their son turns 18, and if I was that wife I would want to know NOW. I don't find people's deceit or cheating romantic or exciting. If they're unhappy in their marriages they should be talking to their spouses about it, and either working through things or splitting up before they even think about being with someone else. They shouldn't be taking the easy way out by cheating, marriage is supposed to be for life, otherwise why did they bother marrying in the first place. Two families with kids will be ripped apart, how romantic I'm not sure if this is a joke message, sorry if it's not, but I'm sure you know these sort of posts (cheating) don't get happy responses ^^^^^ +1 One woman I know (who's husband is lovely but not nearly on the same sexual level as she is) has been flirting with a guy online that lives over 1000 miles away. They have met twice from business travels. She tells me she is head over heels in love with this man and he is with her. Problem is the long distance and they are both married. She wants to leave her husband for him one day. Sooner than later. I get the impression they are a wonderful match. Both have kids but both seem like they want to risk everything and give it a go one day soon. The guy is waiting for his kid to turn 18 next year and will likely not leave his wife until this happens. It sounds romatic and exciting. Both are not fullfilled in there current marriages. Can it work? I seek other opinions and advice for her because mine alone does not mean that much. I am a romatic at heart and it would be nice to hear the opinions of others. ^^^^ If your a romantic at heart and this is your idea of romance then i pity the person who ends up with you. It's not romantic, it's shameful.
aspence24 Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 I dont mean to come across rude by any means, but this is NOT romantic on any level. They're both married!!! They're cheating, what make them think when/if they get together one of them wont mess around? The reasoning for this guy to not leave this wife is just stupid! It's not like his son is 5, he's going to be 18! The way this relationship is starting doesn't look like it's going to have a "happily ever after" ending. WHY would anyone mess around with a married man/women? Thats just asking for bad karma... Whoever your friend is, she needs to really think about what she's doing to another woman's family! Just my thoughts!
hoping2heal Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 StandingO, There is a reason why you so often hear about affairs failing when they try to make an actual relationship. Relationships that form from an affair are like 3somes. Not everyone is into it to begin with, but there are some who toil with the idea and think it is a good one, and then when they actually do it..the fallout as a result is overwhelming and takes a toll on them emotionally, psychologically, and that can stem into physically. Often times the fallout from an affair is just too great for people to continue a relationship after. There is often guilt involved, self loathing, etc. Sure, you hear about those rare instances when it worked..just like with threesomes but for the majority it simply does not. Also, like all the others have said..there is really nothing romantic about emotionally hurting other people.
folieadeux Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 The distance isn't the issue here; it's the fact that they're both married to other people.
TokyoG33kyGal Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 i think the guy will not leave his wife. this what makes the online relationship kind of convenient for him. he doesn't need to leave his wife (right away) and he doesn't appear to be cheating (at least sexually) since the girl is miles away. if he really wants to find a replacement for his wife, he would find somebody closer to him. it makes him doubly coward. if he's gonna cheat, then he should cheat all the way. but he can't even face his wife and fix their problems so it's unlikely that he's gonna leave her as well.
Author StandingO Posted March 30, 2011 Author Posted March 30, 2011 (edited) Great feedback. All I know is both marriages have serious differences in sexual needs between the parnters. So bad that they don't see a future with thier spouses anymore. Even though her husband is very nice she also fears her husband could get nasty and very bitter (the other side of him). She does not love him anymore and needs to get the strength to tell him. Her relationship with this other man makes her so happy. How she talks about it makes it seem romantic. Yes, they have not gone about it the right way. That alone does not mean this new relationship will not work. That is what i think. I am alone on this? Yes, they should clear things up on the home front first. Edited March 30, 2011 by StandingO
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