Theathens Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 I was cheated on once but didn't really get back with my ex fiance. However, I'm not really the type of person that would hold grudges and now we're friends but I wouldn't get back with him. I feel that if I were to go back to him, there would be times where sadness would take place. I've forgiven him already but haven't really forgotten. I know of some people who stayed with the WS and manage to overlooked it or forgave & forgot. How? Till this day he is remorseful as it was really him who confessed it to me the following day, no one forced him to and I would never have found out.
Eddie Edirol Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 Yeah but did he tell you WHY he cheated on you? Forgiveness usually depends on whether or not the reason for cheating is believable and if the problem will be eliminated by both involved.
dactyl Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 I was cheated on about 3 years ago. We were separated for nearly 3 months, but still saw each other nearly every day. We did get back together and are still together. Though, I don't think a week goes by that I don't think about it. Which is really bad to say.... I sometimes wonder if I will ever forget.
2010_Sorry Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 I was cheated on by my ex-husband.... several times with different people. I was hurt for a few hours and was very quick to forgive. They were each one night stands with strangers, which in my mind (at the time) I thought was more forgiveable than an emotional affair. Looking back now, I made several poor relationship decisions after the fact when it came to my ex-husband. In my opinion, I did NOT "get passed" his infidelity, but put on a show that I did. It ended up destroying me... and our marriage.
DollyGirl12 Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 Same thing with my exbf. He was trolling Craigslist and emailing women and couples on there. Was also searching escort services. Come to find out, he was doing the same with his previous gf. I don't know if he had actually physically cheated, but he was well on his way. I think, at least with these types, it's something that they will always do. Had I stayed I would have been setting myself up for it to happen again. He needs that rush and to be "needed" by many women. When caught they just go further underground and learn to hide it better. Especially with the technology of today. No, I would never be able to trust him again.
Sebstian Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 (edited) Cheating can be many things. Some people go on an ego trip, like some of you explained, which is utterly unforgivable, but (being a man and talking about men) one mistake might not have anything to do with his feelings for you. I've tried screw up (kept my bloody mouth shut), and the weird thing was I loved this girl I was with and wasn't even that attracted to the girl I kissed. It was just a freak opportunity to boost my ego. Most often I think infidelity is a sign of insecurity, a need to be validated, rather than a deeper dissatisfaction with ones SO. The problem is that infidelity is, for most couples, unavoidable at some point. But most often it doesn't mean anything. At least for men it emotionally often doesn't mean any more than a wank over some porn movie. I've slept with maybe 80-100 girls. Only a handful meant something, the rest was just plain hornyness. Edited March 31, 2011 by Sebstian
samsungxoxo Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 I've slept with maybe 80-100 girls. Frankly I wouldn't be able to handle that type of history. I guess compatibilities is a must for me. Example: If I have never used drugs in my life then I expect the same from the man. But there's always one out there for everybody. Only thing is, don't complain if the woman is similar to you in terms of experience or hornyness.
seeker2010 Posted April 2, 2011 Posted April 2, 2011 Most often I think infidelity is a sign of insecurity, a need to be validated, rather than a deeper dissatisfaction with ones SO. So therapy for the man in question sounds like it would be a better solution than cheating. The problem is that infidelity is, for most couples, unavoidable at some point. Infidelity is always avoidable. Infidelity is a choice. It never "just happens". But most often it doesn't mean anything. At least for men it emotionally often doesn't mean any more than a wank over some porn movie. It may not mean anything for the man involved, but it will mean something for the SO who has been betrayed. It's not the actual act, it's the betrayal and the lying and the hiding. It takes *years* to rebuild trust in a relationship when it's been violated this, and sometimes it never happens.
WorldIsYours Posted April 3, 2011 Posted April 3, 2011 It may not mean anything for the man involved, but it will mean something for the SO who has been betrayed. It's not the actual act, it's the betrayal and the lying and the hiding. It takes *years* to rebuild trust in a relationship when it's been violated this, and sometimes it never happens. It's both the act of screwing around with someone else and the deception.
memleewill Posted April 3, 2011 Posted April 3, 2011 I have been cheated on and have been the one that has done the cheating as well. Trust me the guilt that is carried for stepping out on someone your with is greater than any forgiveness that can be given. I got past the not trusting by learning that it wasn't my fault that he cheated. that and he admitted that it wasn't my fault that helped
fltc Posted April 4, 2011 Posted April 4, 2011 It depends entirely on the cheatee, not the cheator. If the BS can forgive knowing he/she won't forget and probably never ever trust the cheater again, it's possible. I wouldn't even try but that's only my opinion.
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