Boyfriend broke it off and left me pretty much homeless..

[TryingtoUnderstand32]

My boyfriend of 7 months dumped me yesterday. He is the most wonderful, giving man I have ever dated. We were due to move in together in May, bought furniture, everything. He made some decisions about having his 2 brothers come live with us for a time period. He was born and raised in Portugal and is very close with his family. Something happened and they needed a place to stay. He didn't even discuss it with me first. I told him that it would affect my life too and that there are a lot of things to consider. I said I want to help but we need to see if there are any other options. Because him and I were just starting out and I was moving to another state to be with him, taking on a new job, etc. It would be a tough time. But he didn't like any of my suggestions. So that turned into an argument on Thursday and than I went to his place Saturday and he told me he doesn't want our relationship anymore. He wants to move on. He said he feels I don't have strong family values and a lack of compassion. I told him I would try to make it work. He was very cold. I cried, begged and pleaded. Looking like a fool. He said my response about them living with us made him realize our backgrounds are very different as far as family and values go. But its not true..

 

I wanted him to know I cared so much for him and that I do have compassion. But he said his mind was made up. He said he may miss me or regret it but he will get through. he gave me 700 dollars so I could pay my rent for one more month, but I think that was his guilt talking. I now have to be out of my current place at months end with no place to go. He paid everything on the new place so He said he's not going to move now that we are not living together so he will just take a money loss on it.

 

I haven't been able to stop crying and thinking how I could have prevented this. I love him. I called him today and left a voice mail asking him if he was sure this is what he wants, cause I need to move on and start dating again, and staying busy. He hasn't responded. I just don't understand why he would end it so abruptly. Just Thursday he went to put money down for the utilities and everything. So its not like he was planning to break it off for a long time.

 

I'm lost without him and I keep praying he will come back..I don't want to look pathetic but I can't let him go..

[TryingtoUnderstand32]

He told me he would still be there for me if I needed him and he wanted to be friends. I told him I couldn't do that and I said I couldn't speak to him anymore. He said he understood.

[butterfly2011]

I am so sorry he did this to you. You two obviously didn't know each other well enough to move in together just yet. As far as family values, I'm sure you have great values. Moving family in to a new home that was meant for the two of you isn't my idea of fun either. If he is from a different country which I am assuming he is, then their ideas are way different and you should think about that. He wants to be the one in control and making all the decisions. Some cultures the women have no say so....think about what you will be getting yourself in to should he change his mind. Maybe this should be a huge eye opener for you. Make a list of the things that he did that hurt you and make sure the next man you date is nothing like that. Don't beg any man to be with you. If he can throw you away so easily, he is not worth your time. I am guilty of telling my man to leave, but it was in the heat of an argument. This is his home and he can come back at anytime as this has happened before and he knows it. He has left on his own before too. It's like this is our ways of hurting each other. I don't think after reading your story that he did this to hurt you. I think he really feels strongly about his ideas of family. But to me family is the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with, the woman or man you are sleeping with, not extended family. It's better you found out now rather than later. These types of men will always put you last. Don't call him and beg him. No contact. Focus on you cause you are way more important than how he treated you. Leave him alone and find someone that is worth it. I read the bottom of your post. You should be number one to yourself.....he shouldn't be.....that is a problem when you put someone else before yourself. Keep us updated.....remember you are worth more than what he did. time will prove it. It may not seem like it now, but in time you will be glad he did that now rather then five or ten years down the road.

[TryingtoUnderstand32]

I am so sorry he did this to you. You two obviously didn't know each other well enough to move in together just yet. As far as family values, I'm sure you have great values. Moving family in to a new home that was meant for the two of you isn't my idea of fun either. If he is from a different country which I am assuming he is, then their ideas are way different and you should think about that. He wants to be the one in control and making all the decisions. Some cultures the women have no say so....think about what you will be getting yourself in to should he change his mind. Maybe this should be a huge eye opener for you. Make a list of the things that he did that hurt you and make sure the next man you date is nothing like that. Don't beg any man to be with you. If he can throw you away so easily, he is not worth your time. I am guilty of telling my man to leave, but it was in the heat of an argument. This is his home and he can come back at anytime as this has happened before and he knows it. He has left on his own before too. It's like this is our ways of hurting each other. I don't think after reading your story that he did this to hurt you. I think he really feels strongly about his ideas of family. But to me family is the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with, the woman or man you are sleeping with, not extended family. It's better you found out now rather than later. These types of men will always put you last. Don't call him and beg him. No contact. Focus on you cause you are way more important than how he treated you. Leave him alone and find someone that is worth it. I read the bottom of your post. You should be number one to yourself.....he shouldn't be.....that is a problem when you put someone else before yourself. Keep us updated.....remember you are worth more than what he did. time will prove it. It may not seem like it now, but in time you will be glad he did that now rather then five or ten years down the road.

 

thanks you gave me some things to think about. But at this point in time I still hope he changes his mind. I will not be contacting him anymore.