Author TryingtoUnderstand32 Posted March 28, 2011 Author Posted March 28, 2011 No... I think that her actions showed him two things are just cannot be stood for in a relationship. 1. That she has no respect for his ability to make choices. 2. That she feels more important than his family. Both of those are dealbreakers. I bet it hurt his feelings a lot to have to end the relationship. How do I not care trust his ability by asking for him to consider my feelings about something? That doesn't make sense to me..and quite contrary. I never said no to the guys coming. And I don't feel more important! I wasn't putting myself as first at all.
Author TryingtoUnderstand32 Posted March 28, 2011 Author Posted March 28, 2011 Just because I wanted to talk about things with him doesn't mean I don't trust him or share in priorites or that I only care for me. Don't understand why people see things that way. I actually did quite a bit for him when he needed assistance. I'm a very thoughtful and caring girlfriend and I actually put him first many times. So for people to say things about my character when they only go on the situation I posted is ridiculous..
Nexus One Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 (edited) if u tell a portuguese, a swede, and a ukrainian that they have similar culture, I don't think they will agree with u. That's not what I meant to say though. What I meant was that the differences weren't shockingly significant. The only european country that resembles north america the most in terms of culture is england. Perhaps, but that doesn't mean a woman from Ukraine or Sweden will not be compatible with a North American man in terms of culture. That was the point I was trying to make. My point was that men and women from across the pond can be compatible, despite the minor cultural differences. While there are differences between the people in the mentioned nations, those differences are small and can be overcome. And in my opinion, in terms of attitude/character, I find that Russians resemble Americans far more than Brits resemble Americans, even though Russia has a totally different language. I find Russians to be somewhat Europe's "US Americans", because they act similarly. It's one of the reasons why I was never surprised about why said countries never got along with each other, it's like putting two alpha males in a room, they're going to fight over dominance. Despite their superficial differences they're very much the same, but they'll never admit it. Mila Kunis and Milla Jovovich for example are from the Ukraine, Nelly Furtado is from Portugal. They do just fine in the US and I don't think they are an exception to the rule, despite their fame and careers. However, I definitely think there are examples that are likely to not work though. For example, I have doubts about relationships between North West Europeans and Americans from the bible belt. I don't think North West European men and women would be able to hold out long with a heavily religious conservative partner in a conservative area, I think they'd feel suffocated pretty quickly. But like with anything, there are exceptions to the rule. Edited March 28, 2011 by Nexus One
Wolf18 Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 if u tell a portuguese, a swede, and a ukrainian that they have similar culture, I don't think they will agree with u. The only european country that resembles north america the most in terms of culture is england. Latin, Germanic , Scandanavian, Anglo-Saxon, Slavic , etc cultures all have vast intrinistic differences.
Author TryingtoUnderstand32 Posted March 28, 2011 Author Posted March 28, 2011 TryingtoUnderstand32. From the sounds of it you pushed him into a corner where he probably couldn't make any other decision. I have a brother and between us it's bro's over ho's so to speak. You mentioned your relationship was relatively fresh/new, then that makes that decision even easier, for as far such a decision can be easy. You actually did quite a good job of describing how he reacted, because I could almost feel similar feelings grow in me while reading that. Let me explain to you the following. When you push a guy into a corner, cut off all his options and demonstrate to him you have no compassion, then you reach a certain threshold in men. If you push beyond that threshold, then we can sever the connection between ourselves and you as the woman. I'm fairly sure this is a survival instinct/effect in men. When things that are important to men are in danger and people start to f*ck with that, then we become very practical, we then become very cold and goal oriented and the goal then is the safety of that which we care about. If he reacted as cold as you mentioned, then there's a good chance your attitude might have killed his crush for you. I'm not sure a man could ever return to feeling the same way about a specific woman after cutting off his "connection" like that. Because that is a very drastic measure for a man to do. I get the feeling you must have pushed him pretty far. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but I am telling you how it is. Although I'm not sure it's what you want to hear, but it is perhaps what you need to hear. I never pushed him into a corner and cut off his options. I never even said no.
Author TryingtoUnderstand32 Posted March 28, 2011 Author Posted March 28, 2011 This thread is very similar to one that was up a few days ago and got deleted. If its for real, think of it as a bullet dodged. Seems people think he dodged one or me, no middle takers.
Star Gazer Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 This thread is very similar to one that was up a few days ago and got deleted. If its for real, think of it as a bullet dodged. I said the same thing. Reeeeally similar...
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 How do I not care trust his ability by asking for him to consider my feelings about something? That doesn't make sense to me..and quite contrary. I never said no to the guys coming. And I don't feel more important! I wasn't putting myself as first at all. Huh? It sounded like he did consider your feelings. Then you picked a fight and tried to throw out alternative ideas... as if what he came up with was just crap to you. I don't really see as he had much of a choice in this... then you get all upset because he didn't talk to you about it first. Seriously... I don't know for sure what either of you were thinking... but I would dump a woman who got upset because she didn't have the chance to decide the fate of my family members.
Author TryingtoUnderstand32 Posted March 29, 2011 Author Posted March 29, 2011 Huh? It sounded like he did consider your feelings. Then you picked a fight and tried to throw out alternative ideas... as if what he came up with was just crap to you. I don't really see as he had much of a choice in this... then you get all upset because he didn't talk to you about it first. Seriously... I don't know for sure what either of you were thinking... but I would dump a woman who got upset because she didn't have the chance to decide the fate of my family members. I didn't pick a fight at all. I just wanted to discuss things. And I will say again that its important to talk about things that affect both of us. That doesn't mean I said no.
Author TryingtoUnderstand32 Posted March 29, 2011 Author Posted March 29, 2011 I feel pretty pathetic but he hasn't canceled the apt or the furniture. He didn't really care for furniture and told me without me he def wasn't getting it. Don't know if that means anything.
Nexus One Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 I feel pretty pathetic but he hasn't canceled the apt or the furniture. He didn't really care for furniture and told me without me he def wasn't getting it. Don't know if that means anything. It could mean he doesn't want to get reminded of you through that furniture or that he thinks you should take it either way.
Author TryingtoUnderstand32 Posted March 29, 2011 Author Posted March 29, 2011 It could mean he doesn't want to get reminded of you through that furniture or that he thinks you should take it either way. I'm not taking it, he paid for it. He told me he was going to cancel it the other day. He bought it because I thought we needed it. He was going to keep his own set now that he broke it off..
Author TryingtoUnderstand32 Posted March 29, 2011 Author Posted March 29, 2011 It could mean he doesn't want to get reminded of you through that furniture or that he thinks you should take it either way. I'm just saying I wonder why he hasn't canceled it. I know he wouldn't keep it for himself alone.
Author TryingtoUnderstand32 Posted March 29, 2011 Author Posted March 29, 2011 Its a sign of incomatability, before you married, had babies and took out loans together. Its a blessing. I know plenty of couples that are different and have good relationships. Opposites attract. I'm not convinced its that yet. I feel its more of a miscommunication. I could be wrong
Els Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 I didn't pick a fight at all. I just wanted to discuss things. And I will say again that its important to talk about things that affect both of us. That doesn't mean I said no. I wouldn't really worry about that poster. He has claimed to dump a woman over a huge variety of things, although noone actually knows if he actually even has said woman to dump.
musemaj11 Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 I know plenty of couples that are different and have good relationships. Opposites attract. I'm not convinced its that yet. I feel its more of a miscommunication. I could be wrong You are so blinded by this guy.
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