daphne Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 So in the midst of many, many online connections gone bad due to grass is greener syndrome and lack of compatibility (if it's my decision, it's lack of compatibility, if they stop contacting me it must be gigs.) and my ex is trying to talk me into giving it another shot. My crazy, lying, cheating ex from years ago. He came back about a year and a half ago and asked me to marry him and sprout some babies. I said thanks but no thanks. Yet we remained friends. Probably because he apologized a lot and recognized his mistakes. He told me I was perfect for him. He said he's going to be persistent and wear me down. Considering my lack of actual success since we dated, I'm starting to get scared that he may be right. And my friends are starting to predict that I will give in. God help me. We made out on my couch last night. I just really needed to remember what it felt like to touch a man.
2010_Sorry Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 People CAN change. If he lied and cheated on you, he MUST be persistent and show that he is serious. Trying for a year and a half is definitely going the distance. Just be careful not to do things with him when you're heart isn't in it. It would definitely give him mixed signals and if you're 100% sure that you do not want this, then don't lead him on. I'm sure you already know this!! Good luck!!
Author daphne Posted March 27, 2011 Author Posted March 27, 2011 2010, It's actually been more like 3.5 years since he's persisted. He's like a bad penny. lol I'm not leading him on, i've told him we're incompatible as lovers or more. Our core values are different. I have good values, he does not. I generally make great decisions, he usually does not. I've built a great life from that, he's barely getting by. I felt a little weird when I told him I'd take him out for his birthday and he showed up dressed up and I wasn't. I have told him over and over we're just friends. Does make it hard though, cos there's definitely still an attraction on several levels. I just wish he were a better person instead of one who keeps "trying" to be. Like Yoda says, Do or don't do. There is no try. I think what makes me think too hard about it, is that I have met no fewer than 20 men in the past few years online and out in the bar scene and none of them had the persistence that he has. There's something attractive about that.
welikeincrowds Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 He's like a bad penny. lol What, that's not a real phrase. "A bad penny," get out of here. I wouldn't be so nonchalant about your heart if I were you. It's probably the most important thing you have to be responsible for, if you don't have children.
Star Gazer Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 My crazy, lying, cheating ex from years ago. People rarely, if ever, change their character. The above is who this guy is. You can do better.
TouchedByViolet Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 People rarely, if ever, change their character. The above is who this guy is. You can do better. +1 I would be very very very cautious with him. Sounds like your emotions are doing most of the decision making right now which could result in some poor outcomes.
Star Gazer Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 Sounds like your emotions are doing most of the decision making right now which could result in some poor outcomes. Sounds like her loins and hormones are doing most of the decision making right now. I can relate. Daphne, don't make the mistake I recently did (because this is how it ended). Stay far away from this guy.
Author daphne Posted March 28, 2011 Author Posted March 28, 2011 What, that's not a real phrase. "A bad penny," get out of here. Yuh huh. http://www.usingenglish.com/reference/idioms/turn+up+like+a+bad+penny.html Sounds like her loins and hormones are doing most of the decision making right now. I can relate. Daphne, don't make the mistake I recently did (because this is how it ended). Stay far away from this guy. Violet, Star's right. I'm not remotely emotional about this. But he's hot and looks great shirtless. I'm not going to go down that road. But I worry that I may never find someone like him who actually gets me, knows who I am and thinks it's awesome. I just wish I felt the same about him. :/ However, I am definitely playing with fire if I keep seeing him as "friends." I don't kiss any of my other guy friends anywhere. Much less on the mouth.
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