hART Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 (edited) I am very shy and picky, but overly an forward man keeps picking up on my passiveness and using me. Every time I see him he uses me and I'm so tired of it. I called him out on it and he completely didn't see how he is using me. I can't call no contact with him, because his stuff is here and has no place to go. This isn't the first time this has happened. There was another guy, but I was dating someone at the time and nothing else happened. I have about as much respect as these men do for me, none. How do I get away from these pricks? If saying no doesn't work, what else can I do? Where are all the good men at? Not too good, I want a man who can stand his ground. Edited March 27, 2011 by hART unclear
fishtaco Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 Use you for what? Normally, a guy would be hitting on a girl, she says no, but he keeps going anyway. That would be annoying yes, but that's not "using someone".
daphne Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 It's about you learning to set boundaries and keeping them. Once you are successful at that, you'll push the users out of your life. You can't let people walk all over you and not take responsibility for letting them. It's your responsibility. Just start saying no. No explanation, no justification. Stop caring what people think. Don't be mean. Just say no. Over and over again until you know what you want and don't want.
phineas Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 I think she is talking about sex. Either the guy is forcing himself on her or she's putty in the guys hands & can't turn him down when it comes to sex. Then he gets his sex & say's "see ya" or since she said he's living with her he goes & sits on the couch & watches sports & drinks beers?
fishtaco Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 I think she is talking about sex. Either the guy is forcing himself on her or she's putty in the guys hands & can't turn him down when it comes to sex. Then he gets his sex & say's "see ya" or since she said he's living with her he goes & sits on the couch & watches sports & drinks beers? Oh... it went that far already? Wow, some people are really passive. Sorry this happened OP. Maybe you can just throw his stuff out? I admit this is unfamiliar territory for me. I don't let things get out of hand like this. I'm afraid don't have a good answer for you.
Author hART Posted March 28, 2011 Author Posted March 28, 2011 Oh... it went that far already? Wow, some people are really passive. Sorry this happened OP. Maybe you can just throw his stuff out? I admit this is unfamiliar territory for me. I don't let things get out of hand like this. I'm afraid don't have a good answer for you. Thank you! It is needlessly complicated. No, I promised him they could be here until June and I don't break promises, except in extreme circumstances.
daphne Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 I'm not one to flake out or break a commitment either. However, when the circumstances changes such that the person I am bestowing a commitment on is exploiting me or otherwise mistreating me, all bets are off.
Author hART Posted March 28, 2011 Author Posted March 28, 2011 I think she is talking about sex. Either the guy is forcing himself on her or she's putty in the guys hands & can't turn him down when it comes to sex. Then he gets his sex & say's "see ya" or since she said he's living with her he goes & sits on the couch & watches sports & drinks beers? He doesn't live here, his stuff is in my garage and we have seen each other twice since the breakup Once was because his whole life fell in on him and the other was to get his stuff. Yeah, I can't turn him down, that is the trouble. He isn't a rapist or anything, just more experienced than me.
Recommended Posts