Jerrica Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 I'm SOOOO upset right now..... I had given my ex a deadline of this weekend to get his stuff (I can't take it to him as I don't have a truck). He ahs also come twice since we broke up and never took it all. Sunday afternoon, still no word.....here was our text convo: Me "I still need you to grab your stuff please" him "I know. Snapped an axle on my truck so can't come today" Me "k well I'm going to put it outside then, or if you don't want it I can throw it out or give it away" him "Can't you just keep it inside? I doubt it's going to hurt you" Me "That's not the point....I gave you a deadline and you had lots of opportunities to get it" him "well f*ck you too, b!tch. If you're going to be a f%cking c*nt about it then you owe me for half the couch and TV. Go ahead and throw out my *****, give me half of what we paid, minus carpentry costs to fix your doors, and then you can go f*ck yourself and have a merry life. Douchebag. Go F*ck yourself." I haven't replied because I don't want to engage in his behavior. someone knock some sense into me please because I love this guy. What kind of guy talks to someone like this? I'm heartbroken, I've been crying for the last half hour.
2010_Sorry Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 Hi Jerrica, To be perfectly honest, his response sounds like any typical man that has been put on the defensive. Unfortunately, it's not respectful, but we've ALL been there... saying things we don't mean because we feel that were under attack. Now, you might say that you weren't attacking him.... and I don't know that you WERE, but texting can leave out a LOT of communication and can be misunderstood VERY quickly. He explained that he would not be able to get his stuff because of truck problems. You replied by telling him that you would leave his stuff outside. Is that the true message that you want to relay to this man? I know you say that you still love him, so why would you react the way that you did? If you really do still love him, then I would call him. Apologize for saying what you said, and let him know that you are empathetic about his truck. Let him know that you want you both to agree on a date that will work for him, something reasonable. Good luck!!
Author Jerrica Posted March 27, 2011 Author Posted March 27, 2011 I understand that maybe I came off as attacking him. That wasn't my intention and I realize maybe I came across that way via text. So I did reply saying: "Perhaps you misread my tone. I figured putting your stuff outside might be easier so you can pick it up whenever you want, and then I don't have to have it in my house anymore. OR if you don't want it I can get rid of it. We can figure out how much I owe you for the couch and TV, that's not a problem. I would rather have this settled sooner then later and preferably in a civil mature way, if you can" His reply? "piss off" alright then, I will do just that. So, now what do I do with his stuff?!?! Outside it goes? WHY WON'T HE JUST be civil and discuss a way for him to get it and the money?
2010_Sorry Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 Yeah, his response is juvenile. You did everything that you could! I don't think you will be in any trouble if you put it outside. Tell him it will be out there on a particular day. If he doesn't pick it up by the end of the day, you're posting it on craigslist. PERIOD. That will put a fire under him! You could probably keep the stuff too. Let him take you to court if he wants it, or money for it. He's the dumb a$$ that moved out and left it there in the first place! Good luck!!
danrs Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 Jerrica, I remember your previous posts. He broke up with you. He is pizzed because things are not going as he planned I would say. Maybe it was a case of "Grass is Greener" (either a woman or the party scene. But you didn't mention that, but it's possible?) Or I think he possibly did it to get a desired result or change in behavior from you, and you are doing exactly opposite of what he expected. You've given him more than enough opportunity to come get his things. He keeps coming up with lame azzed excuses. IMO he does not want to get his things out because he is not convinced himself it is over, and he wants to keep you on the backburner while he makes up his mind what to do. The fact you are moving on and not doing things according to HIS plan is too much for him to take. I wouldn't reply for now. There is no excuse for that kind of a display of anger, perhaps with the exception of he just discovered you cheating! And that wasn't the case. Time for a decision woman. Put it on the curb and know it is in fact over for good (because he'll be super pizzed then), or find something else to do with it. I WOULD get it out of the house however. For you, and so he knows you are moving on (even if you are not). It sounds like a few big items, but not too much. Do you have anyplace you can put it? Whatever you do, it NEEDS to be out of your place ASAP so he no longer has that excuse to keep intruding upon your life. If he wants to intrude on your life in the future, it had better be because "I made a mistake, and I want to work things out", and not him using his crap as an excuse to stay in your life. That's all it is...an excuse, because he's still unsure what to do. Just my opinion. If you want him to come back eventually, you may consider giving him another week. Maybe text something like this: "Listen, I'm sorry you can't accept I'm moving on, but I am and will continue to do so. There is no call to be talking to me like that. This is what YOU wanted. Now be a man and follow through with your decision so we can both get on with our lives. I will take you at your word you had problems this weekend, but my patience is very limited...especially when you talk to me like that. By next weekend, it needs to be out or I will make other arrangements for it, I promise you. This is your last chance to get your belongings." He needs a kick to the oblongs right now so he doesn't continue to think you'll be there for him no matter what. Keep doing as you are, and don't stoop to his level of attacks. Remain calm and indifferent towards his outbursts. He's trying to get a rise out of you. If he gets it, he'll be rewarded for his pizz poor behavior. Don't do it, and remain calm and composed.
Author Jerrica Posted March 28, 2011 Author Posted March 28, 2011 I definitely never cheated that's for sure. To come to think of it, I never did anything wrong, even post breakup so for him to be this angry with me is COMPLETELY unjustified! It makes me SO angry myself and upset but I know I can't engage in his behavior and give him a reaction. I have not replied to him, but I am very tempted to just rent a truck and pack up his stuff myself and take it to his place. I don't want to wait for him to get his truck fixed. I want to cut all ties once and for all. This will also give him no excuses at all to be mad at me. Bad idea?
Recommended Posts