youaretheone Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 I have been dating this girl and things have been going very smooth and we were acting like a couple lately. Last night, I told her that I wanted to see her in my concert as my girlfriend and then gave her a flyer of the concert with "to my girlfriend" written on it. She read it, smiled and then started kissing me and we made out for some time. The thing is, she is shy and generally not very blunt in expressing her interest. She usually does it when I initiate a compliment or talk. I took above as a "yes" but I can't stop wondering if it meant "maybe" or "undecided". Do you think I should have a more explicit talk with her about this?
Lucky_One Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 Apparently, you have to post it on FB to be official nowadays! LOL! So change your status there, and see if she does, too. But I agree - you can assume she has agreed!
Author youaretheone Posted March 27, 2011 Author Posted March 27, 2011 Thanks people. Your words are encouraging. Any other opinions?
Star Gazer Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 It can be safely implied that she agreed. I actually disagree... If she didn't agree or say she wants the same thing, an assumption should never be made about exclusivity from behavior alone.
Kamille Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 I reacted pretty much the same way she did when bf made us official: I hugged him and kissed him. I was super happy, but the way he did it, I didn't actually have to say "Yes, you are my bf". So pretty much the same as your scenario. He did "check up" on our status a few days later with a: "So I just wanted to be sure: are you into the bf gf thing?" I was thrilled the first time he asked and thrilled the second time he asked. Moral of the story: there's no harm bringing it up again. If she's into it, she'll be happy to confirm the status. If she isn't, you will have your answer. My money is on: she's into it.
pineapples Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 If she is the shy type maybe it meant "yes". But I totally agree with Star Gazer above. Her behaviour can mean the opposite of "yes" as well. It's like she was kissing you to avoid saying she was not ready, needs more time etc.
Duckduckgoose Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 Get her in private, as is not a public place and have the "exclusivity" talk. Nothing would suck so bad as her telling you she rather be friends and date your pal... right in front of about 10 people. Better to do that **** where you can save face cause she's the only one around.
USMCHokie Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 I actually disagree... If she didn't agree or say she wants the same thing, an assumption should never be made about exclusivity from behavior alone. Eh, I see what you're saying...but I think actions alone speak more strongly than words alone...imagine if someone said they were your boyfriend but didn't act it...versus someone who never said that were your boyfriend but acted it...which would you be more comfortable believing you were in a relationship with? Bottom line, you obviously need both...but in this case, if I were him, I'd feel comfortable assuming we were in a relationship unless behavior dictated otherwise...in which case, I would bring it up like Kamille had said...
Star Gazer Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 Eh, I see what you're saying...but I think actions alone speak more strongly than words alone...imagine if someone said they were your boyfriend but didn't act it...versus someone who never said that were your boyfriend but acted it...which would you be more comfortable believing you were in a relationship with? Neither. This isn't about what I would rather have. Words and actions must match, full stop. One means nothing without the other, IMO. I mean, how many times do we see sob stories about how someone thought they were in a committed, exclusive relationship based solely on how someone acted towards them? Only to have everyone here say that, "Well, if you didn't agree to be exclusive..."
USMCHokie Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 Neither. This isn't about what I would rather have. Words and actions must match, full stop. One means nothing without the other, IMO. Of course. I was just using the polar extreme cases to illustrate that I'd rather have actions than words. But I agree that words and actions should be parallel. I mean, how many times do we see sob stories about how someone thought they were in a committed, exclusive relationship based solely on how someone acted towards them? Only to have everyone here say that, "Well, if you didn't agree to be exclusive..." Good point. At first glance when I initially responded, I thought OP's method of establishing exclusivity was clever and subtle, but upon further consideration, I, like Star, find it to be against my own preferences for directness...her reaction could really be interpreted in a million different ways, and at the end of the day, you're relying solely on speculation...I'm sure she does want to be your girlfriend, but it wouldn't hurt to actually confirm it... Personal lessons learned: (1) Don't do what OP did and pull some nonsense like that. Not my style... (2) Have an actual conversation about exclusivity like adults. But doing it after the fact might be a little awkward...hence the importance of lesson (1) above...
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