HeavenOrHell Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 Have any of had to learn your partner's language so you can communicate properly? I'm lucky as even though me and my partner speak different languages, he speaks perfect English as a second language. I tried to learn his language for a while but I'm slow to learn, he said it doesn't matter to him, but I thought it would be nice for me to speak his language too, so I'll give it another try. It would also be helpful when I'm in his country, I usually get him to buy things as I can't speak enough of his language, I could also talk to his parents. I feel self conscious attempting another language as I think I will sound silly Cos I'm a shy person But people say to me that people will just appreciate that you are making the effort to speak their language. Any of you had language problems? Did you learn each other's language? I'm curious as I've not heard anyone here say they come from countries where they speak different languages.
LittleTiger Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 My partner apparently speaks English, albeit with a very non-English, but very sexy accent However, there are still times when he confuses the hell out of me and I have no clue what he's saying or why he's saying it! That's not quite what you meant though is it? If you want to learn your partner's language - go for it. Languages are never easy and I believe people appreciate foreigners making the effort. So what if you make mistakes? We all make mistakes. I find it really endearing when someone tries to speak English and gets it wrong - nothing to be self conscious about. I'm ashamed to say I can't speak a second language (I failed French at school and was thrown out of German class for being useless ). I tried conversational Spanish for fun and lasted about five minutes! I think being English makes us lazy so I really admire native English speakers who make the effort. Enjoy yourself and learn at your own pace, in ten years or could be having a fluent conversation over dinner in his language instead of yours.
denise_xo Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 Any of you had language problems? Did you learn each other's language? My experience with this is not very positive. It's a bit like they say that teaching your spouse to drive is not very good for marriage dynamics. I find that the same applies to languages.
Author HeavenOrHell Posted March 27, 2011 Author Posted March 27, 2011 He's not teaching me, I was learning from a course. I did say sentences to him though to see if he understood what I was saying, and he did, so I guess that was a good start My experience with this is not very positive. It's a bit like they say that teaching your spouse to drive is not very good for marriage dynamics. I find that the same applies to languages.
Author HeavenOrHell Posted March 27, 2011 Author Posted March 27, 2011 No not quite what I meant LT, seeing as English is his first language (despite his accent) I love my partner's accent too, and love hearing him speaking his language when I'm over there with him. There was only one word he pronounced in English which I didn't understand, and now and again he'll write a word incorrectly, I think it's cute (remind me to tell you one of the words he got wrong, was sweet!) his vocabulary is better than mine He said he'd find it cute if I get words wrong and that he promises he won't laugh But actually it's better if I do make it fun rather than being anxious about mistakes (a throwback to school). I learnt French and Spanish at school but forgot it as I never kept it up, just know a few French words now. I agree that being English makes us lazy, I sometimes feel ashamed at how many non British people can speak English and we seem to make much less effort and expect everyone to speak English My partner apparently speaks English, albeit with a very non-English, but very sexy accent However, there are still times when he confuses the hell out of me and I have no clue what he's saying or why he's saying it! That's not quite what you meant though is it? If you want to learn your partner's language - go for it. Languages are never easy and I believe people appreciate foreigners making the effort. So what if you make mistakes? We all make mistakes. I find it really endearing when someone tries to speak English and gets it wrong - nothing to be self conscious about. I'm ashamed to say I can't speak a second language (I failed French at school and was thrown out of German class for being useless ). I tried conversational Spanish for fun and lasted about five minutes! I think being English makes us lazy so I really admire native English speakers who make the effort. Enjoy yourself and learn at your own pace, in ten years or could be having a fluent conversation over dinner in his language instead of yours.
Pyro Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 No worries mate. I love the Aussie language. In some cases I have even used Aussie spelling when communicating with her. The most interesting thing for me was learning to drive a car on their side of the road while I was there.
Kamille Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 No worries mate. I love the Aussie language. In some cases I have even used Aussie spelling when communicating with her. The most interesting thing for me was learning to drive a car on their side of the road while I was there. I have been in a relationship where I did not speak my partner's first language, and has started learning it, mostly through immersion when we were visiting his country, and with his help. (We did not seem to have Denise's problem, as we mostly focused on conversational second language acquisition) I've also frequently been in situations where I had to learn a second language or accept social isolation. So I can speak to the feeling of awkwardness and shyness you might feel. You're learning a language. Yes you're going to make mistakes. Most people aren't going to judge you on this, however. Plus. that feeling of shyness will likely only slow down your progress. I found the best attitude to have was "blundering enthusiasm": venture out in the second language, accept you will make mistakes, and actively seek out your interlocutor's input in helping you formulate your ideas in a new language. I've learned 3 languages that way, and have yet to meet anyone who reacted negatively to the approach. Everyone has, indeed, been more than happy to help me learn their language.
folieadeux Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 My boyfriend's originally from Scotland and I'm from the States. We both speak English but there are definitely times we have no clue what the other is saying and have trouble understanding certain phrases that are used. I find it adorable and can listen to him talk for hours. I think it's great that you want to make the effort to learn his language HOH; I know he'll appreciate it very much!
Taucher Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 (edited) My boyfriend's originally from Scotland and I'm from the States. We both speak English but there are definitely times we have no clue what the other is saying and have trouble understanding certain phrases that are used. Haha! One of my best friends is Scottish and I have no idea what he is talking about either. When my Spanish speaking SO talks to him, in English, they might as well be talking different languages. But yes, I think it is really important for me to speak Spanish. In less than 2 weeks, I will be in Colombia and my Spanish is pretty non-existant. My SO speaks pretty good English ( a bit short of fluent but nearly) and I love teaching her new words. Speaking English is one thing, but she is getting all the slang now too. It's quite adorable when she says things that really only English people will say. She really likes learning British English instead of the American English that is taught in Colombian schools. Sometimes (less often now) I struggle to understand what she is trying to say, and her accent! Wow! I find it all very cute. Seeing her English improve over the last year has been very touching. I want to speak Spanish and one day I will. But god it's boring, learning another language. I want to be fluent NOW. I speak French to an ok level and am not sure I have any space in my head for more languages, especially ones like Spanish with all the random masculine/feminine parts but I will get there, slowly. One day, I will be fluent. I found podcasts to be a really good way of learning. There are loads of free ones for all the main language and I am listening to them a lot. In September, I will sign up for Spanish classes so one day I can speak to my wife (as she will be then) in her own lovely language. T Edited March 27, 2011 by Taucher
zebracolors Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 Yes I've been studying and trying to learn Turkish now for almost 9 months now. He already knows a little bit of English though he feels there is more he can learn, and we've been sort of helping each other learn. I can now understand much of the Turkish TV Ive been watching but İ think because I am not learning formally at a school, its slow. And most casual Turkish conversation still goes too fast for me to comprehend.
Els Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 My partner apparently speaks English, albeit with a very non-English, but very sexy accent . Like this one? http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/09/09/new-zealanders-appeal-unintelligibly-for-help-after-urthquike/
LittleTiger Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 Like this one? http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/09/09/new-zealanders-appeal-unintelligibly-for-help-after-urthquike/ :lmao:
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Els Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 :lmao: Hehe. I swear, the Kiwi accent drove me nuts when I first came to NZ. Am learning to understand it better, but it still drives me nuts! I recall when I was once speaking to a lady on the phone and she was spelling alphabets out to me, she said, "R - o -t - h - aee..". I asked, "Is that an a or an e?" and she replied, "aee." I decided to just google the street name up. OP, I think learning new languages is exceedingly hard. I know only two, and it took a large portion of my life to learn them well.
LittleTiger Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 Like this one? http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/09/09/new-zealanders-appeal-unintelligibly-for-help-after-urthquike/ Yis! Thet's ut! Sorry, just practising my kiwi!
denise_xo Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 We did not seem to have Denise's problem, as we mostly focused on conversational second language acquisition. We don't seem to handle that either. Maybe the problem is the marriage and not the language acquisition
Rollercoasterr Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 I still haven't learned French, and Mathew and I have been married for a year and together for 3. I find it a little hard to learn the language using Rosetta Stone, not because it's difficult (it's very easy and I learned a lot), but because Quebec french is a lot different from normal French. They use a lot of slang and different wording. So it'd basically be like I learn French through Rosetta and then Mathew would have to reteach me Quebec French. I really want to learn and I think that once we move I'll have a lot more time to try and learn again. I'd love to be able to talk to his mom and dad without worrying that they wont understand me(they speak very very little English). But as far as this being an issue for us, not even close. He speaks perfect English and has that very sexy accent to go with it. And when he speaks French to me I just melt, even if I don't understand what he's saying.
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