confusiondancer Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 Once again this begins with the reminder that I was in fact a terrible boyfriend. I know it. And she knows it. When she broke up with me she was like an ice queen. Harsh and unrelenting. I knew what I'd lost. And god if I didn't feel it. And well. Have been feeling it ever since. I moved into NC, pretty sure she did the same. It was like that for roughly 3 months. Now I had a thread around here somewhere explaining how she got in contact again, offering a truce, no bad feelings all round. And how my reaction was being reduced to a silent trembling mess. Well I waited about a week and, she contacted me again about 2 days ago. Asking if I was there ( it was on msn). Didn't think much of it. Till she sent the same message again the next day. As I explained in the previous thread. I still love the girl but, I don't know if I want to get back with her. Sure it'd make me happy, but there would be a lot of tension to work over. That and her parents dislike me a lot. With her kid, I just don't think she needs the drama she'd need to accept with the harsh feelings left over by our break up. I've got her phone number, part of me wants to give her a call and ask her what she wants. But the other part of me is forewarning against it. And right now the latter is winning out. Its just a case of. If she wants to contact me so badly. She will. And thats what I'm following. Suppose what I'm asking is, am I reading too much into it? If not, what do you think I should do? I mean, doubts and difficulties aside. I would like to have another go. I'm just not so sure about how I should go about it.
dreamingoftigers Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 Wow straight down the middle on it eh? Her parents don't matter, really. What caused the breakup?
Author confusiondancer Posted March 27, 2011 Author Posted March 27, 2011 (edited) The short version. Dishonesty. Both sides. Mostly mine. The long version. Complicated. End result was that the trust in our relationship was gone. I was willing to put in the work to fix that. She wasn't, end game. She wanted out. Down the middle? Yeah...pretty much. I could go either way on it. The main issue is that theres a child involved and I don't want to drag him through something thats not going to work out. Little guys already had too much of the " He could be your daddy", " He's no longer a factor in our lives" back and forth treatment with her former fiance ( he isn't the kids biological father either). I always had a rule as far as the option of dating a woman with a kid went. I wasn't bothered by it. But the rule was, not to do it unless I saw the relationship actually having a chance to stand the test of time. Isn't fair on the kid(s). And I have to say that, this is the only time I actually figured I'd go somewhere with it. Sometimes makes me wish that she'd waited first before involving me with the kid. Seems like the better option rather than putting him through all the confusion. If there was a second chance. I'd probably get her to wait awhile before announcing anything to the boy. I love her, and I'm willing to go through the hard times that'd lie ahead. But hell, I just ain't the type to drag someone who isn't involved, and shouldn't be involved. Into it. As for the parents. Well as far as I'm aware shes still living with them. And the mother is a bit of a hard nut. Don't think she'd throw her out for doing it but, she'd make life a living hell. So yeah, I don't really know what to do. I don't even really know if the option is there. But if it is...eh....I'm unsure. I know I can't be friends with this girl. Felt too much, and still do. Edited March 27, 2011 by confusiondancer
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