minorsecond Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 This is very long, and there are a lot of details. I just don't want to miss anything... Before my midterm, I sent a mass email to everyone in class inviting them to a review session that I hosted. I listed my phone number on the email and said that I could be contacted if they needed directions. I got a few texts, and one of them was from Julie, just letting me know she'd be there. I hadn't met her at this point. The following weekend, my roommates and I hosted a party at our apartment. Towards the end of the evening, several people and I were sitting around in my room talking. There was an attractive female sitting at my desk. She looked at a stack of papers i had sitting on my desk and realized that we are in the same class. We came to the realization that she was Julie, the girl who had texted me and whatnot. She told me to save her number at that point. Well, the next day I was studying in the library and after I posted about doing so on Facebook, she texts me and asks if she can join. I oblige and when she arrives we go out to eat.. after studying I realized that I was hungry again while walking home so I texted her to ask if she'd like to grab another bite. She said she'd love to, and we went to eat again. This time she gave me a hug as she left. The next day I got a message from the vocalist in the band that I'm now in that they liked my playing and I got the position. After showing her the music she kept gushing about how much she loves it, and has even bragged to friends about it, I thought this was pretty cool... So I go to study again and she texted me again asking if she could join. Upon arriving, she suggested that we go for a walk in the park since it was nice out. She also added "I don't care if you come or not, I just want to go." We didn't go because studying took too long. The evening of the exam, I sent her a text saying "remember how you said that there are certain times you like to drink? I started thinking about beer and I would kill for one right now." She replied "Haha, tomorrow right?" I then replied "Are you going to join me?" She said "Of Course!" So I was stoked. Anyway so she ended up inviting her roommate, which I presume was because she barely knew me at this point. Well at the end of the evening I was about to walk the block to my apartment but she kept insisting that she drive me, so I let her. Upon arriving, I told her that she can just drop me off at the curbside entrance rather than drive into the parking lot. She said "ohh.. you just want me to drop you off?" The sad part is, I had one too many drinks and didn't get the hint. We had to do a project for our class over spring break that involved collecting info on organic food items from a local grocer. Since she was busy over the break I told her that I'd get some extra info for her. The next day I texted her saying "I got seven items for you. You owe me a beer." She replied "I owe you 7. Thank you dollface. I'll be home sometime tomorrow if you wanna go to dinner or something." I felt like she was starting to be interested in me... well, she had to cancel, but we still had a "date" planned on Tuesday (picnic in the park), but when I asked her about that, she said "ohh I forgot about that! But yeah that'll be cool!" Gah.. The day of the picnic, she seemed very excited. She kept texting me about various things she could bring and whatever. I forgot to bring spinach, which she requested. She was ok with it though. While we were there, she tried to feed me a slice of banana with a fork. I didn't realize that she was trying to feed it to me and just grabbed it off the fork and ate it. She said "Ohh so he doesn't eat off of other pepole's forks. Got it." I felt so stupid after that! We then went for a walk around the park and I wanted to hold her hand but was afraid to try and make a move. That evening we went back to her apartment to finish the aforementioned assignment. After finishing we watched some TV and her roommates went to their rooms. She later mentioned that they did so because they said they didn't want to interrupt anything. She said "yeah they're dumb." I thought "Now why would you just say that?" I hadn't made any sort of move at this point and hadn't really flirted with her so I figured I might as well do something so I started off tickling her and we started hitting each other with pillows. She enjoyed this, as did I. I gave her a hug and left. The killer: I didn't know if she considered the picnic a date and it was bugging me. I sent her a text Friday morning at 8: I know it's early, but I wanted to wish you luck on your exam! Let me know how it goes. Maybe this photo will make up for forgetting the spinach & completely ruining an awesome date. Bahaha. Anyway, have an awesome weekend and call me when you're back! I'd like to see you! I attached a photo of delicious looking sandwiches. Well, she never replied. At 4 PM, I was too anxious so I sent her 1 more text: "So, how did your exam go?" She replied "good." I felt that she used a 1 word reply to convey that I shouldn't talk to her. I dunno. I left it at that and haven't replied. This was Friday. So, where did I go wrong? Did I go wrong? What should I do at this point? I have class with her on Tuesday so I hope it isn't awkward.
Eclypse Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 Sorry to say man, but I think she's written you off as uninterested and moved on. You must need to be hit on the head with a sack of bricks to get the hint! She was so into you.
Author minorsecond Posted March 27, 2011 Author Posted March 27, 2011 Well damn. Lost my chance eh? It sucks because I really dig this girl. Forgot to mention that this all happened over the last week.
betterdeal Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 Give her a note in class that makes clear you're into her. Something along the lines of "Looks like I failed to read between the lines or, indeed, the lines themselves. Fancy a second date? x" and see if that revives it for you.
Author minorsecond Posted March 27, 2011 Author Posted March 27, 2011 A note? Haha. That seems middle school-ish. I dunno she normally sits right beside me. We're both 24, btw.
Author minorsecond Posted March 27, 2011 Author Posted March 27, 2011 Is it likely that she didn't think of it as a date, and the fact that I used the word date in the text weirded her out?
betterdeal Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 Yeah, it seems a bit corny but it gets the message across and it's funny. The corny aspect makes it more funny. Don't call it a date - call it a pillow fight, a re-run, another wriggle together, whatever you think sounds good. Up to you, fella. I don't know if she weirded out or if she'll weird out some more if you give her a note that acknowledges you goofed up, but I'm pretty sure it'll make her smile. If you want to have some sexy times with this chick whose being handing it to you on a plate, take a risk.
betterdeal Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 Is it likely that she didn't think of it as a date, and the fact that I used the word date in the text weirded her out? When her house-mates left you two alone and she said, they're leaving us alone (so we can have sex) and then she said "bunch of chumps" or whatever she was probably reacting to your reaction, e.g. you looked a bit shocked and she was being a bit nervous too and trying to gauge what you wanted. She wants you. You want her. Next time you two are rolling around with each other, don't be nervous!
Author minorsecond Posted March 27, 2011 Author Posted March 27, 2011 The thing is, betterdeal, I'm not sure if she does want me. I mean we normally talk daily, but I haven't heard from her after sending her the message.
Author minorsecond Posted March 29, 2011 Author Posted March 29, 2011 Dang. I'm still confused about this situation, everyone. So I ended up not having any sort of contact with her until last night when she started commenting on some Facebook photos of mine - saying she finds me hilarious and stuff. I was planning on talking to her about everything today after class, but she didn't show. I sent her a text letting her know that we had a quiz over the readings and she replied 2 or so hours later that she had been sick the past two days. We exchanged a few texts and I let her know I'd make a copy of the notes from today for her (which I had told myself I wouldn't do if I was asked.). She said that now she owes me even more, since I helped her last week. I know that she doesn't like talking on the phone, and since she's sick meeting her in person is out of the question.. I really just want to send her the following: "Listen, when I sent you that long text Friday morning, I meant every word in it. To me, the picnic was a date, and I asked you to do it because I'm interested in you. If that's not something you're open to, that's perfectly fine with me because I think you're a great person and you're very nice to hang out with." Do y'all think that would be ok? Is there anything you'd take out or add? I'm dyin' here. (not really, but I tend to overthink things.)
utterer of lies Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 Listen, when I sent you that long text Friday morning, I meant every word in it. To me, the picnic was a date, and I asked you to do it because I'm interested in you. If that's not something you're open to, that's perfectly fine with me because I think you're a great person and you're very nice to hang out with." Do y'all think that would be ok? Is there anything you'd take out or add? I'm dyin' here. (not really, but I tend to overthink things.) Don't send the msg. Keep it casual and invite her on a date when she's recovered. If she accepts, kiss her on the date. Problem solved.
betterdeal Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 R. E. L. A. X. Just have fun and enjoy having fun with her. Sex might be part of that. It might not. You're worth it, you're a great guy, and she likes you. Just enjoy yourself.
Author minorsecond Posted March 30, 2011 Author Posted March 30, 2011 I found the opportunity to speak with her about my feelings. They aren't mutual: She's still very hung up on her ex and is trying to rekindle things with him. This guy is abusive, has spit on her, hit her, stolen her car, even got her locked up one time for hitting him after he stole her car, etc... Now she tells me "Yeah he told me that we can date exclusively but he wants to stay single." I thought "uhhhh...?" What would possess a woman to be so attached to a man who has abused her?? I've never really had a friend who has been through that kind of stuff. It's pretty sad... and she keeps telling me details about things he has done to hurt her... I dunno. I dunno I wish I was a closer friend so I could just say "what are you thinking?!?!" But being a new friend I have no right to do that. I've a friend who is getting her masters in psychology and she told me that this girl sounds like she's reaching out to me because of all the personal secrets she's telling me.. and that I need to stick by her side through all of this because she obviously needs someone to lean on.
Leeway Harris Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 So, are all the people who were just saying "Hey man, she was throwing herself at you!" going to eat their words? Actually, maybe she was, but she just wanted to fool around. And then, by you wanting to talk about things between you two, it made it seem like something more than casual, and she got weirded by it. I don't know, it's hard to read.
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