Left in the dark

[maysj18]

Okay, so I'm a college junior and I randomly met this guy last semester and we talked for about 10 minutes while he waited on someone. I didn't think much of it, I mean he was cute, but to be honest I had forgotten about him after a day or so. Well, after coming back from Christmas vacation I saw him everywhere and for awhile I had no idea why he looked so familiar. After a couple weeks of running into him, I finally remembered and decided to introduce myself again one day. Well, it wasn't but 24 hours later that we were hanging out. We got along well and had fun together.

The first night we hung out, we made out a lott and this became an almost everyday thing. I'd go up to his room or he would come to mine and we would watch movies and just have fun together. I'm not a "hook-up" kind of a girl. I have only been with two people, one of which was a long-term boyfriend, so I never let it go past first base.

For the first few weeks I was just enjoying his company and never really worried about exclusivity or anything, so when he brought it up I was a bit taken back. He was curious as to "what we were doing" and I just said I was having fun with him and just wanted to get to know each other and keep what we had going without worrying about being a couple. He seemed relieved and agreed wholeheartedly. We both just got out of serious relationships, so it didn't seem wise to jump into anything.

This continued for awhile and he started to try to make me jealous by bringing up other girls that "wanted" to get with him. One night when he mentioned some other girl from his job that drunkenly tried to hook up with him, I took it rather hard. It was at that point that I realized that I was a bit more emotionally involved than I thought (it was just plain rude, too). We ended up talking about it and I told him that while I don't want anything serious right now, it is something I'm wanting in the future. I told him that I really cared about him and I want to see where it could go with nobody else involved (even though he insisted there never was anyone else). He started saying that he agreed and that he really liked me as well, he just didn't want a relationship atm. I said that if he wants to continue hanging out as more than friends, I needed a little bit more substance; however, if he wasn't willing to do that then I told him I would completely understand and that I still wanted to be friends. After that the conversation kind of changed course and so I figured we were done, as in not seeing where it could go. A couple days later he invited me somewhere and he was being so overly sweet. I was confused, thinking that maybe he thought we were trying to see where it could go, and I just went with it rather than asking because we never come to any conclusion when we have those talks, lol.

A day or so later we hung out again and the wild streak inside me came out and I started pushing his hands where I wanted them and I let him go down on me. It was awesome and the next day I went down on him. Now, here's where it gets weird. Things were completely normal that day after we had hooked up and the day after that; however, when Tuesday rolled around (all this went own on Friday and Saturday night) he didn't text me all day. Wednesday came around..nothing. Now it's Sunday and I still haven't heard from him. And just throwing this out there- although I haven't been with many people, I know what I'm doing. Definitely know what I'm doing* and I know he loved it, so it can't be that I give bad head haha

So yeah, he knows that I'm not a hook-up kind of girl and for me to let him go that far kind of means a lot to me. While it was all "for fun" and I didn't have many expectations, I certainly didn't plan on this happening. With me, things are always so simple. If I like you, I like you. I don't play games and I go after what I want. He's always been kind of a flighty person, though. I know he means well, but it's hard to get close to him. Not that he never treated me well, it was just there were times where it was hard to gauge what he was thinking/feeling. He's going through one monster of a family ordeal and I know it's taken a toll on him. He has opened up to me quite a bit about it, which is something that he struggles with, so it doesn't even cross my mind that he may be lying about liking me. I know his life is unstable and kind of up in the air right now, but I think I deserve at least an explanation. That, along with his recent break-up, were the main reasons he didn't want to jump into a relationship with me. I've heard so many different things from my friends: 1) he's being a douchebag since he got what he wanted 2) he realized how much he does care, so he's backing off since he doesn't want a relationship 3) he's waiting on me

 

I just don't even know. I have left him alone this entire week since he's being so shady, but it's eating at me. It really is. I feel like I deserve an explanation, regardless if it hurts me or not, I just want to know. Then again, though, does this seem like one of those things that's probably better left unsaid? I'm pretty annoyed with him right now and I know it's more than likely going to be something I don't want to hear, but what do you guys think I should do? Should I just let it go or should I ask for an explanation and then leave it at that?