Found out i was dumped for being too self-centered...i don't understand, ?

[roman_pavluchenko]

I found out last night that i was actually dumped 2 months ago for being too self-centered. I really don't understand this. I looked up what it means and it mostly said "someone who only cares about themself" exept i cared about my ex so much. I showered her with affection, always to be with her just so i could hold her, offered to go out of my way to drive her places, the few times i went out shopping with her i would carry her bags around willingly and not complain about all the clothes shops we were going to and even now after she has dumped me, i hang out with her best friend at uni and am always helping her with homework/carrying her bags around for her because they're apparently too heavy for her.

 

I can't really see myself as self-centered, exept for maybe the last week of us being together. One night i got drunk, was angry that she hadn't talked to me the whole night and suddenly drove off with her friends so i sent her a few texts saying "why didn't you talk to me the whole night and then just leave, thanks a lot" later on she ended up coming back, still didn't try to talk to me (didn't reply to texts either) so i walked off in a huff. Her friend came and found me, went and go my girlfriend and she had a bit of a go at me and started saying "you can't just walk off like this, it makes me look bad" < she said this a couple of times, a more significant even was when i went out of my way to visit her on new years, instead of being excited/happy to see me since i hadn't seen in her 8 days, she had a go at me because i "crashed the party" and made her look bad. After the night where i sent the texts things turned bad, i felt she was in the wrong, but bought her flowers to apologise for the texts because i was drunk. Things weren't the same since though, she kept making excuses not to see me and stuff.

 

A few days before she dumped me we argued. We were talking about everything thats happenned, i talked about the fact that she never wanted to be alone with me, eg. Her parents told me i was always welcome at their house, i was allowed to sleep over, i met her grandparents and got on really well with them, exept my girlfriend would never invite me over/when i would ask if i could go over she would say stuff like "i have family over sorry, im looking after my brother" etc etc. And she started taking like 10 minutes to reply which kind of annoyed me because i wanted to sort things out, i ended up questioning her about this and she said she is talking to other people and i ended up saying something like "why am i your bottom priority."

 

Basically i can't see myself as a self-centered person. I'll always go out of my way to help other people. I even told her once "im studying psychology because i like to help people." One time she had a family issue, i offered her support and let her vent for a good hour about it, i just listened and then gave her advice and she told me it made her feel a lot better, i stated that i would be there for her whenever she needed me. I don't really understand, its been 2 months since we broke up but i still have feelings for her and im pretty certain she has moved on (despite saying she wanted to be good friends she hasn't talked to me at all.) This shouldn't have, but it's set me back for some reason, i feel like **** again.

I deleted her from facebook when she dumped me and she got really pissed off and things have been really awkward between us since we broke up - we don't talk at all, share the same social circle but we use to be able to talk about everything and anything.

 

What should i do, the only contact we've had since the break-up was when i congratulated her on getting her license and when i apologized for deleting her off facebook and getting angry at her. I just feel she misunderstood my intentions of walking away that night, i didn't do it because i was angry exactly, i did it because i wanted to be alone with her because i hadn't talked to her the whole night and i apologised for everything anyway. It's just annoying that i got my heart broken for being "self-centered" when i cared about her so much. Should i talk to her, or should i just forget about it?