flyty6000 Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 I feel like my girl is blowing HOT and COLD w/me lately. it's driving me crazy. for example our rule is no nightclubs without each other when we are go with our friends out. It's just a rule we've had and it's worked out so no need to judge it please. when we go out w/our friends without each other, nightclubs are off limits but everything else is cool. last night around 730 out of the blue she text me im going out w/my friend tonight. I say okay cool where are you guys going? Oh and it's a friend who just broke up with her B/F b/c he cheated on her BTW, she says we're just going to go this club for a couple of drinks. keep in mind she NEVER goes out with this girl or even hangs out with her. I told her straight up no I don't want you to go. At first she says I'm still going I don't care what you say. So I put my foot down and I said well if you go we have a lot of re-evaluating on our relationship to do. She says fine. Shes calls me back later and says she changed her mind and isn't going. So I decide to test her and question her by asking her to call this girl up and put me on 3way and I'll be quiet and tell her you're not going so I can hear myself.Now the point of this wasn't to make her call but to see what her initial reaction was. If she said fine I'll call her I would've been like no never mind I believe. She says no I'm not calling her. This raises an eyebrow because she's been acting very jealous lately w/me and it had me thinking. So she wont call the girl up. After pressuring her to call this girl more she finally goes to me I was just playing around with you I was never going to go out I was just messing with you and see what you would say. She says I'm so sorry I was wrong. Okay I'm not buying that story at this point that she made all of this up to see what I would say? I mean and I'm not buying that this girl asked her to go out! Smells fishy to me. She applogizes so much saying she is sorry and wrong and was just playing around and was never going out. The last few days at one point she goes to me she wants a break from me. Then a few hours lately she loves me soooo much and doesn't know what she would do without me and is talking about marriage, moving in, wtf? Two months ago she puts me on her life insurance policy talking about how she wants to be with me forever It's driving me crazy! It has me wondering is someone else in the picture. When we first met I caught her hiding some dudes phone # in her phone under a chicks name. It ends up she says they were just friends but she always hid the identity of this person from me so I dont even know who it ever was. I'm not saying this correlates with this current story but it's just a point I want to bring up. We got past her hiding that number and I trusted her it was just a friend and she said didn't want to tell me about them because she didnt want me to get mad she was talking to them. Eventhough the funny thing is I'm not a jealous person at all. But she has been very jealous lately with me. Do I need to sit back and relax or do you think there is someone else in the picture? If not why the heck is she blowing so hot and cold day to day with me. It's taking a toll on me....
Eddie Edirol Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 Ill take a guess. If she is blowing hot and cold, it means she is reevaluating your relationship without you. She could be in the middle of emotionally checking out on you. Bottom line is if she is flaky now, it is because shes not sure she wants to be with you, but she has nothing else on the horizon yet to take your place. She doesnt want to be alone. You called her out on her man shopping and she didnt see that coming, good job! I think this is the beginning of the end, and she will only act more flaky. Did you guys have issues lately, fights? Why would she be acting jealous to you, if she isnt covering up her own man shopping? I think she will cave if you start pulling away from her, but she might run as well. If you pull away, she might start panicking because she isnt ready to break up, then you can get the real reason she is checking out. If you get to this point, watch for reasons that dont make sense, as she might not want to tell you the real reasons. She will be trying to cover up and save herself. Youre looking for things that you might have done to turn off her attraction to you in the last year, or however long youve been dating.
Author flyty6000 Posted March 26, 2011 Author Posted March 26, 2011 Ill take a guess. If she is blowing hot and cold, it means she is reevaluating your relationship without you. She could be in the middle of emotionally checking out on you. Bottom line is if she is flaky now, it is because shes not sure she wants to be with you, but she has nothing else on the horizon yet to take your place. She doesnt want to be alone. You called her out on her man shopping and she didnt see that coming, good job! I think this is the beginning of the end, and she will only act more flaky. Did you guys have issues lately, fights? Why would she be acting jealous to you, if she isnt covering up her own man shopping? I think she will cave if you start pulling away from her, but she might run as well. If you pull away, she might start panicking because she isnt ready to break up, then you can get the real reason she is checking out. If you get to this point, watch for reasons that dont make sense, as she might not want to tell you the real reasons. She will be trying to cover up and save herself. Youre looking for things that you might have done to turn off her attraction to you in the last year, or however long youve been dating. You hit it on the HEAD brother! As soon as I said listen I dont think we're going to work out and hung up. She called me up and her whole tune switched up. To be honest she is starting to make me pull away and may not realize it at all. The thing is she is so sexy but her head isn't all there with her flakiness lately and it's turning me off big time. it's either love me or leave me alone. Im no sucker I'll go get me someone new but I rather not because i do love her and would like to work it out but if she doesn't start acting more consistent we're done. But I agree she maybe starting to check out and is man shopping w/nothing lined up yet.
welikeincrowds Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 Im no sucker I'll go get me someone new but I rather not because i do love her and would like to work it out but if she doesn't start acting more consistent we're done. Doesn't this posturing get tiring for you?
Author flyty6000 Posted March 26, 2011 Author Posted March 26, 2011 Doesn't this posturing get tiring for you? no posturing over here. everything is green on this side!
Eddie Edirol Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 Good for you brother, youre ready to walk away if she doesnt shape up. You already know what to do and how to do it. Feels really good when you gain power and confidence from seeing this stuff coming eh, and not get burned again?
welikeincrowds Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 no posturing over here. everything is green on this side! Nah, I don't mean to imply that you were dishonest or unhappy. It's really common, that "I like her but if she ****s up I'm gone." It can be a really good attitude to take. But, that's what I'm saying. Wouldn't it be better if you trusted her not to **** up instead? If you didn't have to be on the lookout for some ****?
Author flyty6000 Posted March 26, 2011 Author Posted March 26, 2011 Good for you brother, youre ready to walk away if she doesnt shape up. You already know what to do and how to do it. Feels really good when you gain power and confidence from seeing this stuff coming eh, and not get burned again? Yeah it definitely feels good to be on point. I've been burnt before, I may have burnt 1 or 2 when I was younger back in the day but too old for the games now in my late 20's. On to the next one if thats what it has to be. thanks for the support man!
Author flyty6000 Posted March 26, 2011 Author Posted March 26, 2011 Nah, I don't mean to imply that you were dishonest or unhappy. It's really common, that "I like her but if she ****s up I'm gone." It can be a really good attitude to take. But, that's what I'm saying. Wouldn't it be better if you trusted her not to **** up instead? If you didn't have to be on the lookout for some ****? oh yeah definitely you are totally right!
Eddie Edirol Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 But, that's what I'm saying. Wouldn't it be better if you trusted her not to f**k up instead? If you didn't have to be on the lookout for some shyt? it would be better, but people have different agendas and you cant trust anyone anytime. You have to be on the lookout. We trust too easily in relationships because its not romantic to be on the lookout, and then this site is made for everyone who gets burned for trusting. People really should be on the lookout for at least a year before even beginning to trust someone emotionally. And even after that, you have to watch your actions, as well as theirs, so you can see things coming. Theres people who just take people for granted after years, assume they will be there, and dont realize their SO checked out. You have to be aware of EVERYTHING so you dont get hurt.
seibert253 Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 Let's for the sake of arguement, she is re evaluating your relationship, or thinking about someone else. Here's a thought, hit her with a premptive strike. Start to detach a little and see what she does. Don't call her, make her call you. Don't answer calls, let it go to VM. Don't answer texts right away, then when you do keep it short and to the point. Sit back and see what she does. If she continues to back away and play games, IMO something is up. Then maybe it IS time for you to think about moving on. If she is truely concerned about why YOU are pulling away, she'll come to you asking what's up. Then you two can sit down and iron this stuff out. Either way you'll end up on top.
sydneysider1978 Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 Seriously, you tell her what she can and can't do? And then you get her friend involved in the ultimatum. That's not healthy, where's the trust? Girls (and I'm assuming guys) got to clubs or bars for so many reasons. They like the music, the crowd, seeing new places, chatting to new people. How about she just wanted to give her mate some moral support and hang out? I would be really turned off by your behaviour. (In fact if someone ever told me what to do, they would be ditched straight away) How about you apologise for getting mad on the phone, do something nice for her and try and develop some mutual trust.
Darren Taylor Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 Seriously, you tell her what she can and can't do? And then you get her friend involved in the ultimatum. That's not healthy, where's the trust? Girls (and I'm assuming guys) got to clubs or bars for so many reasons. They like the music, the crowd, seeing new places, chatting to new people. How about she just wanted to give her mate some moral support and hang out? I would be really turned off by your behaviour. (In fact if someone ever told me what to do, they would be ditched straight away) How about you apologise for getting mad on the phone, do something nice for her and try and develop some mutual trust. OP and his GF had an agreement that neither would go to a club without the other. His GF is clearly slowly checking out of the relationship and he called her on it. OP doesn't have to put up with the fact that his GF intends to monkey branch.
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