chidecoi Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 Rewrite: Basically me and my ex had date for almost 3 years. Everything was great and people always think we are the cutest couple since we are almost together all the time. Only happened on one date almost two months ago when we were about to go home, I talked with her in the car and kinda pressure about making out stuff. She didn't say anything so I guess it was okay. A few weeks later, one night she called me and asked me "Do i really want her to do all those stuff because she doesn't want to be a typical girl friend have to do stuff, she isn't ready for it" and I said sorry for it. The next day she texted me "hey , are you busy?" then she said "She hopes that I am not mad at her and understand what she was trying to say" I said I understood and still love her, then we started texting like nothing happened. We went back to school a few days later and i realized she kinda trying to avoid us to be together alone until one day I can't hold it and we talked on yahoo to straight things out. She said she felt like if we spent less time together, we could do other things like friend and stuff. She felt guilty every time she turned me down and stole me from my friends. I tried to talk and told her that was my choice. She didn't change me but I changed for good. Then the next week was pretty awful between us. Now to think of it, I feel like I was neglecting her feelings. For the first time since I dated her I was being jealous and needy because I was kinda upset that she was trying to avoid me for some reasons. Until one night I was trying to cuddle with her but she said, she said she feels uncomfortable, i said I understand but I still keep doing it then she was like "it doesn't make sense cause you said u understand but u still doing it". I saw she was crying on the way back to her car. Then the next few days, she asked for a break a week, I obviously didn't want it but later she insisted she wants to have a break so i agreed with it. She started ignoring me and everyone for about a week. After a week she asked for us to be apart to grow and change. She said she changed me a lot but when I gave opinion she doesn't listen to it. . I was so sad and depressed but I had to accept it. A few days later, I drove to her house and talked my heart out basically I realized what i did wrong and I told her we can fix it because it was our first love, we make mistakes. She said "its just a week and you already asked for a chance" she needs time to think about it. She said she doesn't feel the feeling like she used to have when I asked her whether she still has the feeling for me? She said she still care for me as a friend and she didn't want to lose a best friend. I then clearly told her my love for her too much I can't stand to next to u as a friend. I asked her "will she consider me if u think about it" she said "yes, she will" The next day, she acts so different but I kept talking to her until I realized I was kinda annoyed her. She said "she asked for space but i kept talking, poking and hugging her. She needs time to forget all the negative things between us. She is so stressed and lack of sleep right now that she doesn't know what to do" and in the end she said "I am not dating anyone if you have thought about it" I talked to her one more time later about going to my cousin bday party, at first she didn't know it was with everyone so she said "i don't know. I will see" then later on, i wanted to confirm her for sure but i DIDN'T know that i was kinda pressured her, later i just told her "its okay you don't have to think about it. pretend that I didn't tell you anything" then I left. She still said bye to me later that day. The next day, from that point, I realized I should stop and gave her own space. She now is hanging out with her girlfriends more and focusing more on school cause thats what she want to do at this point. Sometimes I feel like she wants to talk to me but then she didn't initiate so I didn't either. We just walk pass by like we don't know each other. She just ignore me as well. I myself am starting to go gym and hangout with friends more and more. However, I still feel like there is an attachment between us and i ADMITTED that was mostly my fault that led to the break up. I don't know what to do now? Should I keep NC for more time. It has been more than 2 weeks that we didn't talk to each other at all. The last time when I walked to my class and saw her smiling to me and I smiled back after 3 weeks or more of NC. It is hard for me to do NC since we are in the same group for classes but I didn't really say anything face to face with her. Please help me what to do? I really appreciate it
VJohnson32 Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 Keep doing what you are doing and continue NC. She asked for space so respect her decision, in the meantime concentrate on yourself. At this point you really cant do much to get her back you only annoy her as you already mention. I know its hard but women get very difficult when they pull "i need space" stuff. If you see her at class, keep it casual and do not approach her ... make sure to acknowledge her presence and dont ignore her completely. Thats the only thing you can do at this point ... its unfortunate what happened.
Eddie Edirol Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 Dude, you REALLY killed her attraction to you. The best way to make a woman unlike you is to do exactly what you did. Once that flame blows out, it doesnt come back. You cannot be clingy and jealous and expect it to work out. Keep ignoring her, she couldnt stand to talk to you or be around you anymore, youve learned your lesson. Just dont do any of that with the next woman.
Author chidecoi Posted March 26, 2011 Author Posted March 26, 2011 Keep doing what you are doing and continue NC. She asked for space so respect her decision, in the meantime concentrate on yourself. At this point you really cant do much to get her back you only annoy her as you already mention. I know its hard but women get very difficult when they pull "i need space" stuff. If you see her at class, keep it casual and do not approach her ... make sure to acknowledge her presence and dont ignore her completely. Thats the only thing you can do at this point ... its unfortunate what happened. Yeah I am trying to do NC now and things are getting a little bit better. I guess one day if it meant to be it will be.
Linnbby Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 You know, it sounds almost like she may have been through something in life like maybe molestation or something of that sort for her to be really uncomfortable with you just cuddling with her. I could be going over the edge a bit, but we all go through something to make us the way we are. You probably won't recover from it unless she actually tells you why she isn't 100% comfortable with you & it may be a problem she has to work on herself. My advice to you is never do that during the first week, I mean it took me 2 months to have sex w/ my husband the first time we started dating. Goodluck to you & just stop chasing her. Let her come to you when she's ready sweetie.
Author chidecoi Posted March 26, 2011 Author Posted March 26, 2011 You know, it sounds almost like she may have been through something in life like maybe molestation or something of that sort for her to be really uncomfortable with you just cuddling with her. I could be going over the edge a bit, but we all go through something to make us the way we are. You probably won't recover from it unless she actually tells you why she isn't 100% comfortable with you & it may be a problem she has to work on herself. My advice to you is never do that during the first week, I mean it took me 2 months to have sex w/ my husband the first time we started dating. Goodluck to you & just stop chasing her. Let her come to you when she's ready sweetie. Oh thanks for your reply. I didn't do that during the first week though It started on one of our date when I pressured her to cuddle and stuff. It makes her feel guilty when everytime she turned me down and she doesn't want to feel that way. She is really stress with her family bussiness and school work and such. It is just me feel bad for her everytime she has to work on school work alone and by herself. She has a great personality but she is too shy so I sometimes don't know should I start getting her back after a while or somewhat.
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