Hank_Tx Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 New here to take this with a grain of salt, but it seems like putting BS and OW/OM in the same room is a recipe for conflict. Seriously. I've been trying to catch up on the many threads and it seems every single one nose dives at some point and from my limited knowledge it stems from people with opposing experiences being in the same thread. On one hand you have the betrayed spouse, on the other you have the betraying spouse (me in this example). With such an emotionally charged subject how the heck can those two camps not be at emotional odds with each other? And keep in mind not everyone is looking to be rehabilitated, which in my case will only attract that much more conflict. Seems like a recipe for conflict and many of the comments in the threads bare that out. Anyhow, I've just been noticing the most innocent of threads can quickly evolve into a mound of ugliness, which is not surprising considering the subject matter. You'd think there would be a forum for OW/OM and another one for BS, etc. Oh well, I am here for the free beer and pizza so I'm not losing sleep over any of it, but still...
jthorne Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 WHAT? I didn't even get private messaging privileges until 30 days of membership, and you're getting free beer and pizza?? Man, I got gypped.
bentnotbroken Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 WHAT? I didn't even get private messaging privileges until 30 days of membership, and you're getting free beer and pizza?? Man, I got gypped. :lmao:me too.
Author Hank_Tx Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 WHAT? I didn't even get private messaging privileges until 30 days of membership, and you're getting free beer and pizza?? Man, I got gypped. I don't know anything about the messaging thing here, but yeah free beer and pizza. You did not get yours? How odd. The beer is ok but the pizza is kinda cold.
jthorne Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I don't know anything about the messaging thing here, but yeah free beer and pizza. You did not get yours? How odd. The beer is ok but the pizza is kinda cold. Must be leftovers from the Dating Board.
BB07 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 (edited) New here to take this with a grain of salt, but it seems like putting BS and OW/OM in the same room is a recipe for conflict. Seriously. I've been trying to catch up on the many threads and it seems every single one nose dives at some point and from my limited knowledge it stems from people with opposing experiences being in the same thread. On one hand you have the betrayed spouse, on the other you have the betraying spouse (me in this example). With such an emotionally charged subject how the heck can those two camps not be at emotional odds with each other? And keep in mind not everyone is looking to be rehabilitated, which in my case will only attract that much more conflict. Seems like a recipe for conflict and many of the comments in the threads bare that out. Anyhow, I've just been noticing the most innocent of threads can quickly evolve into a mound of ugliness, which is not surprising considering the subject matter. You'd think there would be a forum for OW/OM and another one for BS, etc. Oh well, I am here for the free beer and pizza so I'm not losing sleep over any of it, but still... I like the different sometimes opposing viewpoints. IMO you get a more balanced view. Also when a forum is censored and IMO that is what it is if one group or the other is excluded you aren't going to hear both sides of the story. If LS ever adopts a exclusion policy for either or, then I'll need to go somewhere else. There are other sites out there that do have exclusion policies. With that said, I don't care for the potshots and the one line insults at all. We are adults and we should be mostly able to control ourselves, of course most of us slip from time to time but the majority do keep it under control. Most "new" posters usually read some before they register and start posting so I'm often surprised when someone new comes in and says they are shocked at what they find. Edited March 25, 2011 by BB07
Author Hank_Tx Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 Well I am new and I read numerous posts prior to registering, and I am not shocked. But as I said it just seems like a set up. And to be clear, I'm not suggesting they do anything differently or make any changes. But the structure seems odd, at least to me. Those are my casual observations. Your most recent thread is a good example. You asked a perfectly reasonable question and in no time it was name calling and such. That seems to be the norm and not the exception. Not complaining, just making an observation.
GorillaTheater Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 As I've said here before, I'm neither a WS nor a BS; I merely post the occasional smartass comment and, even rarer, something of actual substance. But it does seem to me that folks who are unusually sensitive or conflict avoidant are probably not the best candidates for an affair.
whichwayisup Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Well I am new and I read numerous posts prior to registering, and I am not shocked. But as I said it just seems like a set up. And to be clear, I'm not suggesting they do anything differently or make any changes. But the structure seems odd, at least to me. Those are my casual observations. Your most recent thread is a good example. You asked a perfectly reasonable question and in no time it was name calling and such. That seems to be the norm and not the exception. Not complaining, just making an observation. There are various members who rub eachother the wrong way and it comes out at times, unfortunately on other people's threads. Don't get caught up in it, just ignore it. It's sad, all it takes is one person to say something that isn't so nice and a thread can fall apart so quickly. LS is LS. You get to hear different opinions from all sides and then some from others who aren't part of an affair triangle. It's no different than you (general you) walking into a room of 500 people, you're going to get different reactions, opinions and advice. Take it or leave it.
desertIslandCactus Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 New here You'd think there would be a forum for OW/OM and another one for BS, etc. .. I haven't seen other sites that tell OW/OM & BS they must post on their own boards - according where they have been. Doesn't seem it would work out anyway, because who knows some of the true statuses on here. Others who have come and gone - had also requested the OW/OM have their own boards, mostly because they didn't want to Know both sides.
BB07 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I haven't seen other sites that tell OW/OM & BS they must post on their own boards - according where they have been. Doesn't seem it would work out anyway, because who knows some of the true statuses on here. Others who have come and gone - had also requested the OW/OM have their own boards, mostly because they didn't want to Know both sides. DIC..........there ARE several sites out there that do exclude, especially sites for the BS.
desertIslandCactus Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 DIC..........there ARE several sites out there that do exclude, especially sites for the BS. I was speaking of generalized catagory sites that compare with LS such as DearCupid .. not specialized sites that cater to only BS or OW.
whichwayisup Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 DIC..........there ARE several sites out there that do exclude, especially sites for the BS. Yup, there are some that have sections specifically for OW/OM only too. Someone else said this somewhere else on here, but don't try to change LS. It is what it is. Bottomline is, if someone dislikes this place, leave and find a board more suitable to one's liking. There are thousands of forums on the Net!
desertIslandCactus Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Yup, there are some that have sections specifically for OW/OM only too. Someone else said this somewhere else on here, but don't try to change LS. It is what it is. Bottomline is, if someone dislikes this place, leave and find a board more suitable to one's liking. There are thousands of forums on the Net! Amen to that .. But they do seem to come back.
BB07 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I was speaking of generalized catagory sites that compare with LS such as DearCupid .. not specialized sites that cater to only BS or OW. Ok......got it, I'm not familiar with dearcupid.
fooled once Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 I like the different sometimes opposing viewpoints. IMO you get a more balanced view. Also when a forum is censored and IMO that is what it is if one group or the other is excluded you aren't going to hear both sides of the story. If LS ever adopts a exclusion policy for either or, then I'll need to go somewhere else. There are other sites out there that do have exclusion policies. With that said, I don't care for the potshots and the one line insults at all. We are adults and we should be mostly able to control ourselves, of course most of us slip from time to time but the majority do keep it under control. Most "new" posters usually read some before they register and start posting so I'm often surprised when someone new comes in and says they are shocked at what they find. Great post BB! Best advice I can give - ignore the drive by's, the insults and stay focused on the Original Post. Hard to do at times, but it is something I am putting my effort into. And sometimes, its good to take a break and check out other forums here or elsewhere. Helps you to come back refreshed and doesn't allow you to get pulled into the fray.
Hazyhead Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 Great post BB! Best advice I can give - ignore the drive by's, the insults and stay focused on the Original Post. Hard to do at times, but it is something I am putting my effort into. And sometimes, its good to take a break and check out other forums here or elsewhere. Helps you to come back refreshed and doesn't allow you to get pulled into the fray. FO, this made me smile. I had noticed you were less involved in disputes. I agree with you, it's hard to stay level-headed when getting involved in them. I also find it takes from the reason I cane here originally - to find advice and support. Now that I have moved on some personally, I still try to maintain a wide berth from the arguments that get petty, and instead focus my energy on those that are now looking for help. That said, I do enjoy and appreciate the wide range of opinions and views here, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't occasionally entertained by the scraps
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