Dox Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Me and my girlfriend have only been together for 3 weeks and I'm already thinking of ending it. My main reason would be is I don't see her enough. First and second week I saw her twice and this week I only saw her once. But when we are together we have a lot of fun. I'm always the one asking to hang and she would always say "maybe, we'll see", "I want to but I can't". This week alone I asked her to come see me 4 times and got those answers. Funny thing is she doesnt go to school or work so shes always home. I already talked to her about this and she said that her parents are very strict and they don't let her out that much. But before we were going out we used to hang a lot like 3-4 times a week. I just think shes not trying hard enough to see me. She always text me and say she miss me and she wants to see me soo bad etc... What I dont get is if she really wanted to see me that bad she wouldnt let anything stop her from doing so. This is the kind of stuff that annoys me and puts me off and just drives me crazy. I miss her all the time and I really really like her, I dont want to end it but it seems like she doesnt care. So is this a reason to end it? I'm more frustrated than happy.
Kelemort Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 In an established relationship, seeing each other once or twice a week isn't that bad. It's not ideal, but eventually the "I've gotta see you all the time!" wears off a little bit as you each get into your own lives. From what I remember, you're both only 18. Why isn't she working or going to school...or doing both? Are you still in high school? I'd imagine not. To me, I get the impression that she has, like you said, very strict parents who are putting a damper on her romantic interactions. Before, you were just the guy hanging around their daughter. Now you're more likely the guy to be getting their daughter pregnant. And at the end of the day - if her parents are that strict, there's nothing you can do about that. It is troublesome that at the start of a romance, you're already feeling this frustrated and you have that much difficulty seeing her. Nip the bud on this one. She needs to be getting her life in order and doing more than staying shackled up. The next time you see her, explain the situation. "Although I know your parents may be strict, I think that pursuing this relationship is only going to end up causing more frustration. I'm not angry at you." Maybe in the future, this will change and she'll be more independent of her parents. But I understand that at 18, she still depends on them for support, so she can't rock the boat too much.
depplover_1980 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Stop being so emotionally needy. You're only young, try not to get carried away relying on others for your happiness. If you like her a lot and you have a great time, then enjoy what you have because you have your whole lives to be serious!!
EyesWideOpen Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 How old is this girlfriend? The whole no school/work thing is throwing me for a loop. Nip the bud on this one. She needs to be getting her life in order and doing more than staying shackled up. Agreed. In fact, it's very plausible that the reason her parents are being so strict is because she isn't working and/or going to school. That's really not acceptable past highschool, and it's probably really ticking her parents off. If that is the case, you might want to rethink staying involved with someone who isn't motivated to enter the adult world anyways.
Author Dox Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 Shes starting university in a few months and looking for a job right now. Her parents are just strict no matter what. I dont think I'm emotionally needy i havnt seen her in 5 days I just miss her. Ive asked her to come hang a few times but she keeps giving me the same excuses and im just getting frustrated, because I know shes not busy and if she wanted to see me she can. Before we were going out she told me she would make up all sorts of excuses just to hang with me. So yea, thats just whats on my mind.
depplover_1980 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 But it's been 3 weeks!! There is nothing wrong with taking things easy. I accept you miss her, but learn to fill your time with other stuff and as I said, to not rely on others to make you happy.
spiderowl Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 (edited) I agree with you that once a week is not enough to sustain a romantic relationship. Three times a week could be getting too much. If you are asking her when you can see her a lot, then she could see that as being too clingy. There is a fine line between being keen and being too overwhelming. If we assume that 2-3 times a week would be about right (only an assumption), then once a week is not. This particular week could be a one-off and she might be happy to see you more next week - so I wouldn't jump to conclusions - but if she still remains unavailable then is there any point continuing? You are going to find it frustrating, even if it is her parents' fault. From the sound of it, though, you were able to see her more before you were dating so I doubt the parents thing. I think she's less interested in dating you than seeing you as just a friend and this ambiguity is manifesting itself as unavailability. Sorry. Edited March 26, 2011 by spiderowl
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