MLC64 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Today, through this site found out about AshleyMadison.com.....thought......well maybe he is on there too. (see post from yesterday, my first post) for my story if interested. So created a fake profile and yup he is on there too. So I am done. I am sick and I am so damned hurt but know I deserve it. I will never speak to him again and I am so stupid. I am grossed out to think I thought I loved or cared for this person.....it is so delusional. These A's are nothing like they seem people!!! I am now going to be sick to my stomach. What was I thinking? I am going to need advice please....how do I stay NC and not lash out? I posted on his FB page his sickening profile so he knows I know. I will hope to never see or speak to him again. The hurt is coming full force.....please help omg!!!!!!!!! my husband has NEVER in his worst emotional inability has made me feel like this. I will now try to repair what damage I have done..........whatever that means.
desertIslandCactus Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I will now try to repair what damage I have done..........whatever that means. Yes please work on your marriage, or free your H and start all over again. (sorry, don't know about the site - but will check it out at another time).. But it does seem that whatever the OM, or someone else does - outside of your M .. is irrelevant.
Owl Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 From my perspective...your original post indicated that you've thought your marriage was through/over/irreperable for a long time...years. Does this latest issue with OM change that at all? Personally I'd say that this shouldn't change your short-term goal of moving on and ending your marriage. Or...if you feel it might be fixable...working on it. Right now...your first step is still to pick a goal. Once you have your goal...we can post advice on how to get there, wherever 'there' is.
bentnotbroken Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Please don't go stay with your husband. No one wants to be the default plan. You stated that your marriage was over with. Learn to be with yourself. Find out what makes you tick.
jthorne Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 People use their real names on Ashley Madison? Wow.
greengoddess Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 You posted it on his facebook page? Are you crazy? This man is married right? You better start damage control because it is out now.
AlaFlower Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Today, through this site found out about AshleyMadison.com..... I'm so sorry... This does sound like he jumps from A to A... I feel your pain and hope you can get through today ok. And tomorrow will be another day with a chance to think about things clearly.... Please hang in there. I am on my second day of NC. Torn. But it's for the best... We deserve better than this.
Rose1977 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 People use their real names on Ashley Madison? Wow. I don't think they usually do on sites like that, but you can search by zip code, age, race, hair color, etc.... so it makes finding who you're looking for pretty easy if they have a pic up I guess. Never been on that site, just my experience from after Dday checkng to make sure my bf wasn't any longer on any of the dating sites.
spice4life Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 (edited) Today, through this site found out about AshleyMadison.com.....thought......well maybe he is on there too. (see post from yesterday, my first post) for my story if interested. So created a fake profile and yup he is on there too. So I am done. I am sick and I am so damned hurt but know I deserve it. I will never speak to him again and I am so stupid. I am grossed out to think I thought I loved or cared for this person.....it is so delusional. These A's are nothing like they seem people!!! I am now going to be sick to my stomach. What was I thinking? I am going to need advice please....how do I stay NC and not lash out? I posted on his FB page his sickening profile so he knows I know. I will hope to never see or speak to him again. The hurt is coming full force.....please help omg!!!!!!!!! my husband has NEVER in his worst emotional inability has made me feel like this. I will now try to repair what damage I have done..........whatever that means. I created a fake profile once, just to check and see if my mm was on there too...that place is gross! Thank God he wasnt! I would have lost total respect if he was and yes, probably would have never spoke to him again. It simply would have been too much to bear. I could not believe all of the people on there. And with their pics too?! I think that was the beginning of the end for me...meaning I knew I could not make an affair a life long thing. Life is too short to live that way. It really gives you a good view of how many people out there are willing to just cheat instead of doing the right thing and spare their spouses the pain. Edited March 25, 2011 by spice4life
Author MLC64 Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 You posted it on his facebook page? Are you crazy? This man is married right? You better start damage control because it is out now. No, I sent him a message thru FB... I would never do that to his spouse.
Author MLC64 Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 People use their real names on Ashley Madison? Wow. that winner did
Author MLC64 Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 From my perspective...your original post indicated that you've thought your marriage was through/over/irreperable for a long time...years. Does this latest issue with OM change that at all? Personally I'd say that this shouldn't change your short-term goal of moving on and ending your marriage. Or...if you feel it might be fixable...working on it. Right now...your first step is still to pick a goal. Once you have your goal...we can post advice on how to get there, wherever 'there' is. no this doesn't change anything with my M, but it makes me realize that I have to move forward and get myself in a place to find peace. I am so full of so much emotion I can't think straight. I am so confused and drained and yes I know it is my own fault!!! I realize more than ever today that I need to have a goal of getting my head and heart aligned so I can make a decision, which will most likely be to separate. I am of hope that once we separate and if he is willing to go to MC with me then we may stand a chance to rebuild.
Author MLC64 Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 I don't think they usually do on sites like that, but you can search by zip code, age, race, hair color, etc.... so it makes finding who you're looking for pretty easy if they have a pic up I guess. Never been on that site, just my experience from after Dday checkng to make sure my bf wasn't any longer on any of the dating sites. yes, it took about two minutes to find him. He always says the same things in his profiles, his words and he used his name of all things. OMG. I am done with the investigations, it is done, over. Like AlaFlower said, "we deserve better than this".
BB07 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 that winner did Real name........that's unreal! Wow............he must be a couple of bricks short of a load uh.
Author MLC64 Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 Real name........that's unreal! Wow............he must be a couple of bricks short of a load uh. Yes, can you believe it? A few bricks short.....that's an understatement, however at this point of this whole thing and knowing what I know now....I feel that I am too.
Owl Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 no this doesn't change anything with my M, but it makes me realize that I have to move forward and get myself in a place to find peace. I am so full of so much emotion I can't think straight. I am so confused and drained and yes I know it is my own fault!!! I realize more than ever today that I need to have a goal of getting my head and heart aligned so I can make a decision, which will most likely be to separate. I am of hope that once we separate and if he is willing to go to MC with me then we may stand a chance to rebuild. Respectfully...you don't seperate with the goal to hope that this convinces him to work on the marriage. Seperation almost always leads to divorce. If you want to work on your marriage...INSIST on marriage counseling NOW. Tell him the truth of what's gone on, and work through ALL of the issues ongoing...both the "old ones" that led up to this right alongside the damage done by your choice to have an affair. You need to "align your head and your heart" BEFORE you take action...not after. Figure out what it is you want...THEN seperate, or decide to work on the marriage. But don't seperate with the goal/hope/intent of possibly working on reconciliation later.
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