ayjt80 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Im in this situation where the girl im interested in is a friend of my ex. She isnt a real close friend, she sees her maybe once a month. am i just asking for trouble getting involved with this? The breakup between me and the ex was more due for her not being in love with me, i was very much in love with her. in other words i never treated my ex girlfriend badly so she doesnt hate my guts. In fact one of her friends said it broke her heart to break up with me(i dont know how much stock to put in that). Its been several months and im at the point where this would not be a rebound relationship.
iJester Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Go for it. Your ex has no say in this, and shouldn't have anything to say to you about it. If she does, disregard it; none of her business.
Kelemort Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 What is with people always shopping in the same limited pool? Branch out a little bit and try for someone other than your ex's best friend. You say it's been several months since you broke up - how long is "several," though (for some people, that's 4 - for others, that's 10). Maybe the ex wasn't in love with you, but people treat relationships often like little kids. They don't want the toy, and then when someone else wants it, suddenly they flare up. This girl is your ex's best friend. That's bound to cause some complication and problems. If this girl does end up dating you, I'm sure she'll be all thrilled bedroom style when she gets to recall your ex's stories about what you two did together. Put simply...I see a lot of grounds for a lot of trouble here. I'm not talking about your ex's feelings - forget her. I'm talking about this girl's friendship with your ex, and your potential relationship with her. You say the ex was 'heartbroken' about dumping you. I sense a triangle that's going to cause some complication for the girl in question. Go for it, but I see a lot of room for potential problems here.
iJester Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 " She isnt a real close friend, she sees her maybe once a month. " Kelemort, did you make it passed the title?
Kelemort Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Oops - I did misread and thought it said "real close." In any case, he still needs to tread carefully when he's going after someone who's in her pool. I don't know his ex - I don't even know the girl he's pursuing. I hope he knows for sure that they aren't particularly close, or at the least that they aren't catty. I've seen many relationships go ablaze when something like this happens, and the friends who weren't "very close" are suddenly at each others' throats - right before the guy gets tossed to the curb and blamed for causing all of it. The ex may not regret breaking up with him now, but he has heard that since the break-up. I think that venturing into her circle, where there's clearly an established relationship, is probably just asking for trouble. Like I said, that doesn't mean "no go," that means "proceed with caution and expect possible problems."
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