Mrlonelyone Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Does my profile on OKC just suck? Here is a link to a couple of pictures of me I use on there. I know how important the pictures are. http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/166250_1480327782036_1649043820_1096700_3253940_n.jpg?dl=1 http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/183433_1559391318575_1649043820_1236370_1931043_n.jpg?dl=1 http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/29107_1289797698903_1649043820_729863_5769074_n.jpg?dl=1 (Before anyone asked I walked the stage last year for my MS even though my thesis is still pending approval. There is a backlog of work for the faculty.) http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/166409_1505198203781_1649043820_1152613_3336236_n.jpg?dl=1 Only on OK Cupid as it's crowd is less judgmental. http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/149470_1435114571734_1649043820_1021073_2396144_n.jpg?dl=1 mnetokwe 30 / M / Bisexual / Single Bellwood, Illinois My self-summary A philosophical person in search of a mate is what I would call myself. I enjoy bike rides through the forest preserves and prairie path's of Cook and Dupage counties. I am an avid gardener who grows the three sisters (corn, Squash, and beans) in the way of my ancestors. I am an observer of the natural world and curious about it's workings. Come with me if you like to explore. I explore this world through my mind and my knowledge of the laws that govern nature. I am a scientist and love science very much. However there is so much more too me than that. What I’m doing with my life The laws of physics and mathematics allow me to theorize about the very beginnings of our universe right through to the formation of our planet and beyond. That is theoretical physics and cosmology and that is what I do for a living. I am really lucky to do for a living something I really enjoy and love so much. I also take care of my elderly parents. My father who is legally blind, and my mother who is retired and slowing down. Taking care of my family is one of my primary missions in life. I’m really good at Making people laugh and relax. I like to joke about everything that's worth joking about. I am also good at serious discussions of the issues of the day. I am a good bowler, and good at pool, and darts, and video games. Not to mention the outdoorsy pursuits I mention in my self summary. I can ride my bike for 20 miles round trip just for the fun of it. The first things people usually notice about me My body. I have a fit and healthy but unusual shape. I am like one of those androgynous looking rock stars. Beautiful and handsome at the same time. Think prince or David Bowie. Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food My favorite movies would be "Forrest Gump", "As Good as it Gets", "Batman" (the first one), WarGames, "The Producers" (either version), any movie with Tom Hanks or Jack Nicholson. My favorite music is Rap R&B and Classical. However I'll listen to anything if I like the tune. My favorite food is anything salty or sweet. I'm not a picky eater. My favorite book is "The Principle of Relativity" by Albert Einstein and others. It is a collection of classic papers on General and Special Relativity. The six things I could never do without The basics, Air, water, food, shelter, and love of some kind at least from my family. Electricity and broad band internet access, and my cat would be a close second tier of things I can't live without. I spend a lot of time thinking about Theoretical Physics and Cosmology. It is my passion and what I love to do. To be honest no matter what there is some thought about physics percolating away in the background. On a typical Friday night I am Spending time with my family or close friends. When I feel adventurous I will go out to a bar and just hang out. The most private thing I’m willing to admit I am bisexual and bigendered. That means I am 100% into women and 100% into men 100% of the time. I also feel 100% like a man and 100% like a woman 100% of the time. I am what my native relatives would call a two-spirit. Gender is not a criteria for me liking someone. If I like you and then commit to you I am with you 100%. I’m looking for Guys and girls who like bi guys Ages 24-31 Near me Who are single For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating You should message me if If you are looking for an interesting first date with someone who always colored outside of the lines. If you are a creative person who likes to explore the world out there and the world inside. Preferred but not required: Being a physical scientist is a plus. Last Online Online now! Ethnicity Black, Native American, White Height 5' 8" (1.75m). Body Type Fit Diet Mostly halal Smokes — Drinks Rarely Drugs Never Religion Islam but not too serious about it Sign Leo but it doesn’t matter Education Working on masters program Job Science / Tech / Engineering Income $30,000–$40,000 Children Likes children Pets Likes dogs and Likes cats Speaks English (Fluently), Arabic (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly), Latin (Okay), C++ (Okay)
Author Mrlonelyone Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 Now my Eharmony profile. The one thing I am most passionate about: A philosophical person in search of a mate is what I would call myself. What I do for a living is called theoretical physics...I theorize about the laws of nature, teach and tutor. I enjoy bike rides through the forest preserves and prairie path's of Cook and Dupage counties. I am an avid gardener who grows the three sisters (corn, Squash, and beans) in the way of my ancestors. I am an observer of the natural world and curious about it's workings. Come with me if you like to explore. The most important thing I am looking for in a person is: I am looking for openness. I am a very open and flexible person and I need someone who's open to alternative life styles and ways of thinking. Like most scientist my own thinking about things is unconventional, as is the thinking of people around me. Basic Information Occupation: Theoretical Physicist Age 30 Height 5' 9" Wants Kids: Yes Kids at Home: No Ethnicity Other Religion: Muslim Drinks: A few times a year Smokes: A few times a year In my own words The most influential person in my life has been: My thesis advisor. If it was not for him I would not have the opportunity to do what I love for a living. The three things which I am most thankful for: My mother, father and sister are the most important to me. I have been able to attain an education in the field I have wanted to be in since I was a small child. My health. Three of my best life-skills are: Volunteering my time to causes I care about Achieving personal goals Managing my finances The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me: Often when I introduce myself the issue of what I do for a living comes up and I go from being a nice new person to a caricature of a scientist. I want to be known as a person first and liked for my humor and humanity. The things I can't live without are: Air, Food, Water, Shelter, Love Internet access. My cat My car My smart phone. The first thing people notice about me: My way of speaking. I have a broad vocabulary and have been told that I have a way with words. Don't worry I'm not one of those people who uses big words to show off or anything like that. Some additional information I want you to know: I have strong masculine and feminine sides to my personality. I am very spiritual. I try to follow my religion as best as I can but I'm not very religious. My interests I typically spend my leisure time: When the weather is warm I enjoy cycling the bike paths of the Cook county forest preserves. I also am an avid gardener. When I have more time on my hands I like to go out and cut loose at a club. I also am lucky to do for a living something I really enjoy theorizing about physical phenomena. I may sit for hours just trying out new ideas in my head. A partner will need to understand that I need time and space to do this. (no pun intended) The last book I read and enjoyed: The last book I read and enjoyed was great expectations. It was about a person named Pip. Pip lived in Victorian era Great Britain and was a orphan. He rose to be a person of good station in life.. According to my friends: My friends describe me as: Creative Caring Intelligent Outgoing
Author Mrlonelyone Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 The one inch difference is because I just guestimate my height in inches. 1.765 Meters is what I know using my calc that works out to... 69.48 inches or 5' 9.5".
Lilmisus Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I think that your profiles are great and that they show just how intelligent and fun of a person you are. The only critique that I really have is that it may be a bit too "intelligent" for your typical online dater. I think if you toned it down a bit and made it more fun like "yeah, I'm a great dude who you WANT to get to know" then you would have more hits. Focus MORE so on what you enjoy doing in life for fun, and show more of your humor, and focus only a little less on your occupation and what type of sciences interest you. Don't get me wrong, keep that you're philosophical and what you're line of interest is, but for some of the sentences and descriptions you have, I think you could throw more of a Mr. Fun Guy into there, as opposed to only Mr. Smart Guy..ya get me? What most people are looking for in a partner is someone who they can laugh with and who they can have a good time with...let the people who view your profile see that you can be that person to them. That you're not just capable of being an intelligent partner, but you're capable of also being one who loves to enjoy life, laugh, and who can help make them enjoy life and their time with you. I saw where you included that you enjoy biking, pool, darts, etc, but make that section more noticeable when they view your page.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 I am only being honest. The honest answers to what my favorite book is and what I'm doing with my life are just what they are. Those are the only two times I mention science in my OKC profile. I mention science directly or indirectly four times on my Eharmony profile again..because it is the honest answer to the question asked. What do I do? What am I passionate about? I won't lie...I really like science that much. I know I have to show that I am well rounded. I will try to put in more about the non science stuff I suppose. I suspect that when people see science, or scientist...that has so much gravity that it dominates the rest of the composition no matter how I write it.
Lilmisus Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I am only being honest. The honest answers to what my favorite book is and what I'm doing with my life are just what they are. Those are the only two times I mention science in my OKC profile. I mention science directly or indirectly four times on my Eharmony profile again..because it is the honest answer to the question asked. What do I do? What am I passionate about? I won't lie...I really like science that much. I know I have to show that I am well rounded. I will try to put in more about the non science stuff I suppose. I suspect that when people see science, or scientist...that has so much gravity that it dominates the rest of the composition no matter how I write it. I know that you're only being honest, that's why I said that you had a great profile, since honesty is the best way to go about it if you want to date anyone. You really worked hard on it, and it's very easy to tell. But it depends on how you write in the science parts of your profile. Sometimes it can be too much, but other times, it can be just enough to let the person see that you are really into it without it being all of who you are. But you have to understand that when a person sees that a person is overly into science, then they think that they're more of a bore than anything else, and tend to stray away from that person, since like I said..people like to have a partner who they can enjoy life with. That's why I'm stressing throwing in the fun part more, let them see that you are that fun smart person that is the ideal guy to date. Most people WANT to date a fun, smart guy, so if you can show that you are the perfect mix of fun and smart, then you would definitely have all the right people flocking to your page.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 (edited) Lil... Let me say I appreciate what you are saying and it's a point well taken. I will write more about the other things... but I cannot write less about science. Perhaps I should look for someone for whom science is part of the fun part...even if they are not also a scientist? I have to balance things.... I mean I have pretty much mentioned science as minimally as possible without misrepresenting myself. As for a scientist needing to be a bore as they discuss science... I think people need to drop stereotypes from hollywood like this. Ben Stein.. . And get to know the real thing. . Or here. Someone who cant' do that would be best for me not to meet. I mean surely they will expect me to respect, and support them in their career right? Edited March 25, 2011 by Mrlonelyone
Author Mrlonelyone Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 Does anyone have other advice besides not mentioning my interest in science and mentioning other things more?
melodymatters Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I am not a scientist but I am FASCINATED by science and could ask you questions for hours ! My personal big red flag is the "Bisexual" part. To me it's a major turn off and if you are looking for a WOMAN is it really neccesary to lable yourself that way ? I mean honesty is great, but if you are looking for a female, monogomous partner, you can't boink other men any more than I could if I were in a monogomous relationship with a guy. Just my thoughts...good luck !
Author Mrlonelyone Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 Melody. I am looking for a monogamous partner. I don't care if they are male or female. Being bisexual does not mean having sex with both men and women all the time. That's a myth.
Thedude22 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Yeah dude, girls do not dig bisexual guys, that's something you should talk about later. Honestly I'd have two different profiles. You have to lie about those super important issues sometimes just to get your foot in the door. For example I do not like kids, but according to my profile I "want children someday". Untrue but girls are weird about that ****. It's really stupid because it's not like we are going to have kids together anyway but yeah you have to cater to the prude majority in certain areas.
Lilmisus Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Lil... Let me say I appreciate what you are saying and it's a point well taken. I will write more about the other things... but I cannot write less about science. Perhaps I should look for someone for whom science is part of the fun part...even if they are not also a scientist? I have to balance things.... I mean I have pretty much mentioned science as minimally as possible without misrepresenting myself. As for a scientist needing to be a bore as they discuss science... I think people need to drop stereotypes from hollywood like this. Ben Stein.. . And get to know the real thing. . Or here. Someone who cant' do that would be best for me not to meet. I mean surely they will expect me to respect, and support them in their career right? Oh I hear you loud and clear. My absolute favorite teacher that I've ever had was my physics teacher in high school. Only maybe...2 people in the entire school didn't absolutely love him..if that. He was incredibly fun, made learning fun, and he was extremely lovable. When I found out that he was going to sit in and watch my senior mastery project, I was ecstatic, since he was the "cool" teacher who everyone was fighting for. He was wayyy into science, but the fact that he was as fun as he was, made him the best teacher (and winner of the teacher or the year for the school and district) in the entire school, and made it to where people were fighting to be in his class. I thought I loved physics because of him..but it turns out that when I took it again in college that I only liked him..not physics itself. My point is..is that people can be fun and smart and love science, and people can and will love you for that since that's who you are. I wouldn't of had my teacher any other way (I'm even Facebook friends with him now, along with like the entire school), if he taught or was interested in anything else, he wouldn't have been the same as he was. If you strive to show that you can be seen like him to how everyone saw him(while keeping all, if not more) science and intelligent aspects of your profile, then you'll be a clear winner. Also, I never said get rid of the science from your profile, I said mention it a little less, and not make it the focal point and tone down the intelligence in your profile. I also said show that you're not just intelligent, but you're fun (Meaning..keep what you're interested in and the science, but not only that, and work on making the sentences that describe you in a more fun light). The only reason I'm giving you this advice is because I know that for me, and most others that I know or who have used online dating sites, I don't like to see that someone is 10 times smarter than me without at least getting to know them first. I hate feeling like an idiot..and to feel like an idiot on a date wouldn't be the best of things, and I would actually not go out with someone who I felt would make me feel that way. How a few of your sentences were structured, made me get the vibe that some people would classify you as "too intelligent" and not because of what science parts you mentioned, just how you wrote who you are. I would however absolutely love to go out with someone who was clearly interested in something that is important to him, and who could teach me more about that, but also who I could have a great time with and connect to. That's what I think you should strive to do with your profile..show them that you can teach them new things (not like a teacher, but as a partner would), that you love science, but that you aren't "too smart" for someone to handle. But hey, they're your profiles and if you feel more comfortable keeping them the way that they are, then the best of luck to you, I'm sure you'll find someone regardless, I have no doubt about that. I was just trying to "critique away"
Author Mrlonelyone Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 Ok so to find a so with LTR potential I need to: Lie or obfuscate about my occupation. Lie or obfuscate about my sexual preferences. What else?
melodymatters Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Melody. I am looking for a monogamous partner. I don't care if they are male or female. Being bisexual does not mean having sex with both men and women all the time. That's a myth. Yeah, I get that, I thought you were looking for a female partner only at this time. I agree with the poster who just said that maybe you need two profiles : one for woman, and one for men. Fishing for both in the same ad will likely leave you with the weirdo's of both sexes only. But, we all have our non negiotables and if being open from minute one about your bisexuality then that's what you gotta do.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 How a few of your sentences were structured, made me get the vibe that some people would classify you as "too intelligent" and not because of what science parts you mentioned, just how you wrote who you are. Can you select an example for me? I'm not sure what you mean? Could you perhaps rewrite that example sentence in a "less intelligent" way (that was not meant to sound insulting). @melody leave you with the weirdo's of both sexes only. What do you mean by "weirdo's". :/
Lilmisus Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Yeah dude, girls do not dig bisexual guys, that's something you should talk about later. Honestly I'd have two different profiles. You have to lie about those super important issues sometimes just to get your foot in the door. For example I do not like kids, but according to my profile I "want children someday". Untrue but girls are weird about that ****. It's really stupid because it's not like we are going to have kids together anyway but yeah you have to cater to the prude majority in certain areas. I actually really agree with this. When I had a profile set up for two days while I was thinking about leaving my ex (just to see what it was like), I had two bisexual guys try to show interest in me and got "matched" with or whatever. I chose to ignore both of them, not because they didn't seem like great guys, but because I have zero interest in dating someone who is bisexual. It's not feeling as though they'd cheat or want to have sex with guys while with me..it's just not something I'd be cool with.
Kamille Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I come here waving a white flag, hoping you'll take my comments into consideration. Three things struck me about your profile: 1) It's too long 2) It's too descriptive. 3) There's very little about who you're looking for. You want to give information about yourself in a way that will intrigue potential dates. You want to give the browser an idea of what it would feel like to interact with you. In your shoes, I would focus on one hook: science. Leave out the part about taking care of your parents. You can mention that on a date. As admirable as it is, it won't make anyone think about romance. My self-summary A philosophical person in search of someone who's as fascinated about the world as I am. I explore this world through knowledge of the laws that govern nature. There's nothing I love more than using the laws of physics and mathematics to theorize about the very beginnings of our universes right through to the formation of our planet and beyond. And I'm happy to report my passion for the laws of the universe has landed me a job as a scientist. I'm looking for someone who (how do you want your ideal partner to respond to your love of science?) I’m as good at making people laugh and relax as I am at discussing events of the day. The first things people usually notice about me My body. I have a fit and healthy but unusual shape. I am like one of those androgynous looking rock stars. Beautiful and handsome at the same time. Think prince or David Bowie. Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food My favorite movies would be "Forrest Gump", "As Good as it Gets", "Batman" (the first one), WarGames, "The Producers" (either version), any movie with Tom Hanks or Jack Nicholson. My favorite music is Rap R&B and Classical. However I'll listen to anything if I like the tune. My favorite food is anything salty or sweet. I'm not a picky eater. My favorite book is "The Principle of Relativity" by Albert Einstein and others. It is a collection of classic papers on General and Special Relativity. The six things I could never do without The basics, Air, water, food, shelter, and love of some kind at least from my family. I spend a lot of time thinking about Theoretical Physics and Cosmology. On a typical Friday night I am Spending time with my family or close friends. (When I feel adventurous I will go out to a bar and just hang out. I would edit out... How is going to a bar adventurous?). The most private thing I’m willing to admit I am bisexual and bigendered.That means I am 100% into women and 100% into men 100% of the time. I also feel 100% like a man and 100% like a woman 100% of the time. I am what my native relatives would call a two-spirit. Gender is not a criteria for me liking someone. If I like you and then commit to you I am with you 100%. (Too many 100%; I would emphasize monogamy before explaining bisexuality and bigenderness I’m looking for Guys and girls who like bi guys (That's it? What else? Who's your ideal partner in crime?) Ages 24-31 Near me Who are single For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating You should message me if If you are looking for an interesting first date with someone who always colored outside of the lines. (Love this) If you are a creative person who likes to explore the world out there and the world inside. Preferred but not required: Being a physical scientist is a plus. Last Online Online now! Ethnicity Black, Native American, White Height 5' 8" (1.75m). Body Type Fit Diet Mostly halal Smokes — Drinks Rarely Drugs Never Religion Islam but not too serious about it Sign Leo but it doesn’t matter Education Working on masters program Job Science / Tech / Engineering Income $30,000–$40,000 Children Likes children Pets Likes dogs and Likes cats Speaks English (Fluently), Arabic (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly), Latin (Okay), C++ (Okay)
Thedude22 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 (edited) Online dating is like applying for a job online. One mistake, one red flag, and you're done son. In person, it's a whole other ball game. You can be yourself, though still wouldn't bring it up until way later. Sorry just the way it is. For whatever reason I end up dating bi-girls almost exclusively myself, I don't even mean for it to happen, I'm not looking for a three way, it's just bi-girls dig me and I dig them for reasons unknown. So not prejudice against it there is just a different view of it amongst women and women can afford to be very very picky online. Unless you are living in a big city, I think you'll have a tough time finding women who want an Islamic Bisexual, just the way it is. You need a liberal person, the girls I've dated would be totally cool with that, but many women are not. Edited March 25, 2011 by Thedude22
Knittress Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Yeah, I get that, I thought you were looking for a female partner only at this time. I agree with the poster who just said that maybe you need two profiles : one for woman, and one for men. Fishing for both in the same ad will likely leave you with the weirdo's of both sexes only. But, we all have our non negiotables and if being open from minute one about your bisexuality then that's what you gotta do. I have no problem with bi guys if I'm otherwise attracted to them... but then again, I AM a total weirdo.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 I come here waving a white flag, hoping you'll take my comments into consideration. Three things struck me about your profile: 1) It's too long That's funny because Ok cupid says.... "Complete Your Profile Expand your profile to 1,000 words to get to 95%" 2) It's too descriptive. Ok.... could you be more specific. What passage exemplifies this so I can make concrete changes? 3) There's very little about who you're looking for. Well all the questions in OKC's profile page are about me. My self summary. What I am doing with my life? I Spend allot of time thinking about? I mean that's what the form ask for? Everyones profile is that way. :\ You want to give information about yourself in a way that will intrigue potential dates. You want to give the browser an idea of what it would feel like to interact with you. In your shoes, I would focus on one hook: science. Leave out the part about taking care of your parents. You can mention that on a date. As admirable as it is, it won't make anyone think about romance. Interesting I will seriously consider that. I thought of it as something that would humanize me and make me more real. A loving son rather than some stereotype of a scientist. Thankyou.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 It's not feeling as though they'd cheat or want to have sex with guys while with me..it's just not something I'd be cool with. Then isn't it best to get that out of the way from the get go?
Kamille Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 That's funny because Ok cupid says.... "Complete Your Profile Expand your profile to 1,000 words to get to 95%" Ok.... could you be more specific. What passage exemplifies this so I can make concrete changes? Well all the questions in OKC's profile page are about me. My self summary. What I am doing with my life? I Spend allot of time thinking about? I mean that's what the form ask for? Everyones profile is that way. :\ . I did spend some time playing with your profile in the citation I pulled from your OP in my previous post. Give it a look. I answer some of your questions in there, and make specific suggestions. I only read profiles on here when people ask for advice, and have found the ones I find more interesting have somewhat of an "intimate" tone, like, let me let you in on al little secret. Yours have a very descriptive quality, instead of a playful one. You say you like making people laugh and you hint that you're playful. Show it through in your profile.
depplover_1980 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I concur about it being waaay too long. You should sum yourself up in a couple of positive paragraphs, perhaps lists your interests but no need to go into detail - that comes later if they are curious to know more about you.
Girlygirl1977 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 My guess is that more men are ok dating bi-girls than women are with dating bi-guys. I have to admit personally, I would not be interested in a guy who is bisexual. I believe this is having a big factor on the lower interest in your profile. I imagine religion might also be a factor. Since you mention you are Muslim (even though you say not serious about it) versus saying you are spiritual and not religious, this may also affect your replies. Some people who are Muslim may be even less likely to date bisexuals versus those with no affiliations. I imagine those who care less are those who put no religion at all. At any rate, I also do agree with Kamille's overall suggestions. Your profile is very unique give the points I made at the beginning and so there will be a smaller segment of people who it will work for. The bisexual aspect is likely to reduce the possibilities the most as far as women go. Those are my opinion. While these aren't ideal, I think that's reality and I hope it is not perceived as being mean.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 You do undersatnd that my OKC profile is filling out a form that ask me a series of questions. The number of paragraphs is not under my control. Unless I leave some questions blank. Kamille... I am a descriptive person. I don't write prose or poetry for the most part. I am well practiced in the art of taking a four (or perhaps 11) dimensional world and describing it so that those who only understand a 3D world can see it. Now I really want your help. I'm not sure what thread you mean could you provide a link? Please.
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