OrlandoNyc Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Recently broke up with a girlfriend. she was 21 and i am 40. Could this ever have worked? should I even try to reconcile. or was it better rhat it happened now? I am constantly hit on by younger women all the time, but this time I let myself get convinced to be in a relationship with her. Now Im hurting Should I stress out about this. It still hurts the same as any other relationship. But is it unfair of me to try to continue . Should I just let her go ? I guess deep down I know the answer, but I need advise.
PegNosePete Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 My parents are 20 years apart and still going strong. But my mum 26 when they met. I think 21 is a bit young to get into such a large gap.
JasonRules Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Recently broke up with a girlfriend. she was 21 and i am 40. Could this ever have worked? should I even try to reconcile. or was it better rhat it happened now? I am constantly hit on by younger women all the time, but this time I let myself get convinced to be in a relationship with her. Now Im hurting Should I stress out about this. It still hurts the same as any other relationship. But is it unfair of me to try to continue . Should I just let her go ? I guess deep down I know the answer, but I need advise. No, it could have never worked out. I just turned 40 recently and cannot having anything in common with a 21 year old. Our life's stages are completely different. To me a 21 year old is not even a woman. She's still a girl. My ex girlfriend was 12 years younger than me (39/27) and there would be moments where I could see her age playing a role into how she handled things. I think 12 years is the max in terms of age difference between a man and a woman. I think a woman matures personality wise around 30/31. I think a 21 year old who goes out with a 40 year old man has "daddy" issues. Personally, I think you should just let it go. I mean, think of this; let's say things did work out. What would you do when you went to visit the parents? Her parents are probably around the same age as you. Awkward to say the least.
marqueemoon4 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 my ex is 29 and I'm 41. That 12yr age gap was always difficult and I was never comfortable with it. Also, I now realize that indeed it was major daddy issues that made her look for a man so much older. What could you possibly have in common with a 21yr old woman? I'd say let it go and look for someone closer to your age.
depplover_1980 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Well I mostly disagree with the other comments because I believe it would depend on the individuals - there are some extremely mature 21 year olds and some highly irresponsible 40 year olds!! I think more importantly, the relationship working would depend on personality traits. If a responsible 21 year old mother of 2, then got together with a successful 40 year old father of 1 then they would have lots in common and age would not even be an issue. But likewise a hard partying 21 year old would not work with a 40 year old successful business person! So Orlando, I ask what combination of personalities was yours?
radrluv72 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Well I mostly disagree with the other comments because I believe it would depend on the individuals - there are some extremely mature 21 year olds and some highly irresponsible 40 year olds!! I think more importantly, the relationship working would depend on personality traits. If a responsible 21 year old mother of 2, then got together with a successful 40 year old father of 1 then they would have lots in common and age would not even be an issue. But likewise a hard partying 21 year old would not work with a 40 year old successful business person! So Orlando, I ask what combination of personalities was yours? I so totally agree with this...you can't classify every situation as something that won't work out simply based on an age gap. I'm 38, and my ex is 24, soon to be 25. Since I got back into the dating scene over a year ago, I found that I frequently attracted men in their twenties. I was told this probably was happening because I don't look like I'm 38...I frequently get told that I look like I'm 31 or 32. Well, thank god for good genes...but anyways... I'll admit that when I started dating my ex last September, I was a little concerned about the age gap bothering him. He insisted that it didn't, and it very quickly became a non-issue because of how well we clicked. He definitely wasn't your typical 24 year old. He was a huge literary geek, spoke French, was a big connsieur of art, books & music...and at the same time, loved to hunt, loved muscle cars, loved doing "guy things"...this was probably the most multi-faceted person that I'd ever met in my life. He treated me like a queen, and that, with everything else, is why I fell in love with him. The only reason things fell apart was because he had a sudden anxiety attack 2 days before he deployed to Afghanistan & broke up with me...didn't have enough faith in me that I would wait for him while he was gone. Today, I'm officially 12 weeks into NC, and he's due to come home next month. He wasn't the first younger guy that I dated...much earlier that year, my best friend tried to set me up with her 23 year old cousin, but nothing ever happened because he was bothered by the age difference, and I couldn't hold that against him. You can't base someone's character strictly on their chronological age. I know some forty-somethings that act like their trying to relive their college days and have zero responsibility, and I know some twenty-somethings who live their lives like elderly misers. It boils down to chemistry, and what one person is looking for in another in terms of a partner.
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