joshextreme Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 So the past 2 months that me and my ex have been apart have just been an emotional roller coaster. So today I broke NC, again, to just get closure from my ex so I could just move on instead of having that feeling like I'm waiting for something to happen. I pretty much told her I was going NC for awhile but I said it in ways like "I wish I could say I'd always be here for you but thats a commitment that I'm not willing to make." She knows how I feel and how I've been hurting SO bad. She knows this is good for me and I'm starting to think for myself. All the messages that were sent back and forth were very polite and nice because I was trying to just make a clean break. The last message she sent me went like this.. "i know josh, dont feel guilty okay? this isn't your fault. i need to focus on myself too. because im a mess and have no clue who i am anymore or what i want in life. im sorry i made ur life miserable these past few months. im sorry for how this has to be. it hurts so bad that its came down to this. but you have an amazing future ahead of you and i hope some day ull let me in. i wish you the best too, see you around, goodbye." I feel like there is some meaning behind this. Mind you she does not want to get back together. I know now what I have to do is full NC which is hard because I see her in highschool every day and we're both going to the same play tomorrow night. Any advice on what she said that you guys could give me? Reference: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t269539/?highlight=ending+badly
VJohnson32 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Yeah, ive seen this type of messages before. It basically says this "Im immature, young and want to see what else is out there. We had good times together and in the future if i dont find better i will get back to you"
shawn923 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Lol, pretty much what he said... But man josh, its like we go thru the EXACT SAME thing!!! at the same time too! Well ur best bet is to just leave it be. Hopefully she comes back running. But there is nothing u can do now. I believe if she wants to be with u, she'll beg u back, just like u did. I did the exact thing u did, told her i was going nc for closure. so yes, we're at the same spots currently. so idk if u wanna take advice from me lol jk
PegNosePete Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Okay sorry in advance for the harshness, sometimes we all need a kick up the bum, best intentions intended dude So today I broke NC, again, to just get closure from my ex Dude, this is bullsh#t. You cannot get closure from her. Closure is something that comes from within. You cannot let your own happiness rest on someone else's words, especially an EX. You are the only one responsible for your own feelings. YOU need to get closure for YOURSELF. You didn't break NC to get closure, you broke it to try in vain to get another breadcrumb of hope from her. Stop that sh#t dude. This is what is holding you back, not any lack of closure from her. You will get closure when YOU stop basing your happiness on HER actions or words. I pretty much told her I was going NC for awhile but I said it in ways like "I wish I could say I'd always be here for you but thats a commitment that I'm not willing to make." She knows how I feel and how I've been hurting SO bad. Okay. First thing, if she knows how you feel, then WHY did you need to say anything? See above; you're just trying to get some small scrap of attention and a tiny hope that there is still a chance with her. Come on man. She knows how you feel. If she felt the same she would tell you. Second what you think you told her and what you actually told her are two completely different things. That message does not say "I'm going NC" at all. That message says, "I am a puppy dog who will follow you around forever, however badly you treat me I will come running back for more". If you want to send her a message saying you're going NC then you say "It is too painful for me to communicate with you any more. I need to cut contact so that I can heal and move on". Then you do not reply to anything she sends. I feel like there is some meaning behind this. Yes there is some meaning behind it dude. It means you're doing NC wrong. Cut the crap, man.
Author joshextreme Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 Okay sorry in advance for the harshness, sometimes we all need a kick up the bum, best intentions intended dude Dude, this is bullsh#t. You cannot get closure from her. Closure is something that comes from within. You cannot let your own happiness rest on someone else's words, especially an EX. You are the only one responsible for your own feelings. YOU need to get closure for YOURSELF. You didn't break NC to get closure, you broke it to try in vain to get another breadcrumb of hope from her. Stop that sh#t dude. This is what is holding you back, not any lack of closure from her. You will get closure when YOU stop basing your happiness on HER actions or words. Okay. First thing, if she knows how you feel, then WHY did you need to say anything? See above; you're just trying to get some small scrap of attention and a tiny hope that there is still a chance with her. Come on man. She knows how you feel. If she felt the same she would tell you. Second what you think you told her and what you actually told her are two completely different things. That message does not say "I'm going NC" at all. That message says, "I am a puppy dog who will follow you around forever, however badly you treat me I will come running back for more". If you want to send her a message saying you're going NC then you say "It is too painful for me to communicate with you any more. I need to cut contact so that I can heal and move on". Then you do not reply to anything she sends. Yes there is some meaning behind it dude. It means you're doing NC wrong. Cut the crap, man. Any advice is good advice lol. This did give me closure. I guess yeah I wanted some of her attention but its over now. She kept throwing me breadcrumbs that stringed me along and this ended it. and shawn, thats weird haha. But we can keep giving each other advice .
shawn923 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Any advice is good advice lol. This did give me closure. I guess yeah I wanted some of her attention but its over now. She kept throwing me breadcrumbs that stringed me along and this ended it. and shawn, thats weird haha. But we can keep giving each other advice . This is definitely a good thread to keep. Great advice Pete.
Author joshextreme Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 Okay sorry in advance for the harshness, sometimes we all need a kick up the bum, best intentions intended dude Dude, this is bullsh#t. You cannot get closure from her. Closure is something that comes from within. You cannot let your own happiness rest on someone else's words, especially an EX. You are the only one responsible for your own feelings. YOU need to get closure for YOURSELF. You didn't break NC to get closure, you broke it to try in vain to get another breadcrumb of hope from her. Stop that sh#t dude. This is what is holding you back, not any lack of closure from her. You will get closure when YOU stop basing your happiness on HER actions or words. Okay. First thing, if she knows how you feel, then WHY did you need to say anything? See above; you're just trying to get some small scrap of attention and a tiny hope that there is still a chance with her. Come on man. She knows how you feel. If she felt the same she would tell you. Second what you think you told her and what you actually told her are two completely different things. That message does not say "I'm going NC" at all. That message says, "I am a puppy dog who will follow you around forever, however badly you treat me I will come running back for more". If you want to send her a message saying you're going NC then you say "It is too painful for me to communicate with you any more. I need to cut contact so that I can heal and move on". Then you do not reply to anything she sends. Yes there is some meaning behind it dude. It means you're doing NC wrong. Cut the crap, man. I reread what you wrote and I completely agree with you. I didn't say "I wanna go NC" I told her I needed to have some self respect and that I refuse to drag this out anymore. I was kinda mean but I did what I had to do. Well it wasnt exactly in those words but I made my point like that
East7 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 "i know josh, dont feel guilty okay? this isn't your fault. i need to focus on myself too. because im a mess and have no clue who i am anymore or what i want in life. im sorry i made ur life miserable these past few months. im sorry for how this has to be. it hurts so bad that its came down to this. but you have an amazing future ahead of you and i hope some day ull let me in. i wish you the best too, see you around, goodbye." This is something you can hear from a woman of 18, 28, or 48 years old. It means only one thing : I'm not into you anymore ! Period! Move on. All the rest is blah, blah. "I am a mess / have no clue who I am anymore or what I want in my life" = BS. If she was into you, she would know exactly what she wanted in her life
Author joshextreme Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 This is something you can hear from a woman of 18, 28, or 48 years old. It means only one thing : I'm not into you anymore ! Period! Move on. All the rest is blah, blah. "I am a mess / have no clue who I am anymore or what I want in my life" = BS. If she was into you, she would know exactly what she wanted in her life Yeah I assumed so. But it was comforting for some reason.
shawn923 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I reread what you wrote and I completely agree with you. I didn't say "I wanna go NC" I told her I needed to have some self respect and that I refuse to drag this out anymore. I was kinda mean but I did what I had to do. Well it wasnt exactly in those words but I made my point like that My final text went a little something like this: "U cant always get ur way. If ur gonna act selfish and wont even think of giving me a 2nd chance, then there is no way we can be friends. And hopefully one day you realize where im coming from and then maybe we can talk about it. when u begin to miss me, just realize u let me go... its only fair to me that i do whats best for me now"
Author joshextreme Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 (edited) My final text went a little something like this: "U cant always get ur way. If ur gonna act selfish and wont even think of giving me a 2nd chance, then there is no way we can be friends. And hopefully one day you realize where im coming from and then maybe we can talk about it. when u begin to miss me, just realize u let me go... its only fair to me that i do whats best for me now" yeah thats good. my final text messages were me being sympathetic to her because i was feeling guilty but i made sure to stick to whats good for me so in the end it was fine Edited March 25, 2011 by joshextreme
Author joshextreme Posted March 26, 2011 Author Posted March 26, 2011 I look back now and I feel as if I made a mistake by doing this. I made it clear that I wanted to get over her and that I was done but she knew how bad I felt by doing it.
El_Enamorado Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 yeah, ive seen this type of messages before. It basically says this "im immature, young and want to see what else is out there. We had good times together and in the future if i dont find better i will get back to you" very true 8).
Author joshextreme Posted March 26, 2011 Author Posted March 26, 2011 So I officially reblocked her on FB. But for some reason all I care about is her reaction. I want her to see that I'm out having fun with my life without her. How do I just stop caring?
El_Enamorado Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 I feel like hittin her up. But, what for? If she knows how I feel, and she just dont care. I wuz also gonna tell her to cut the contact, but what for. I dont have to give her NO explanations. I'll just do my own thing. I know its hurts and ALOT. But gotta MAN UP. While shes out there having fun, am just sitting here. Thats not right. Thats when U see how MUCH U meant to them. It dont matter how bad I feel, nada is gonna change. I just hate it that when your starting to heal, they come back. Crazy.
Author joshextreme Posted March 26, 2011 Author Posted March 26, 2011 I feel like hittin her up. But, what for? If she knows how I feel, and she just dont care. I wuz also gonna tell her to cut the contact, but what for. I dont have to give her NO explanations. I'll just do my own thing. I know its hurts and ALOT. But gotta MAN UP. While shes out there having fun, am just sitting here. Thats not right. Thats when U see how MUCH U meant to them. It dont matter how bad I feel, nada is gonna change. I just hate it that when your starting to heal, they come back. Crazy. cool bro...
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