carhill Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 For comparison, here's a thread by the OP on this topic from a couple years ago.
Jynxx Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 The guy has the right to not waste his time on you if he doesn't want to deal with the disease. Be upfront about it, you owe him that much.
zengirl Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 I just expected more. I'm disappointed. She's not going to sleep with him without telling him. And pandagirl always posts very informative posts about how to safeguard against transmitting the disease, so I assume she uses barriers when she does have sex with partners who are aware of her disease. What do you expect her never to date anyone or have sex again? Do you expect her to have "I have herpes" tatooed on her forehead? She's going to tell him before intimacy occurs and within a reasonable number of dates --- the only question is whether she needs to message it pre-date to a guy she doesn't even know if she likes yet. I see how there could be two sides here (how doing either one could be the more appropriate path), but she's right: You need to calm down about it. She got an unfortunate disease from a crappy boyfriend, and it's not like she's out there banging random guys and not telling them and spreading HSV like there's no tomorrow.
Author pandagirl Posted March 26, 2011 Author Posted March 26, 2011 She's not going to sleep with him without telling him. And pandagirl always posts very informative posts about how to safeguard against transmitting the disease, so I assume she uses barriers when she does have sex with partners who are aware of her disease. What do you expect her never to date anyone or have sex again? Do you expect her to have "I have herpes" tatooed on her forehead? She's going to tell him before intimacy occurs and within a reasonable number of dates --- the only question is whether she needs to message it pre-date to a guy she doesn't even know if she likes yet. I see how there could be two sides here (how doing either one could be the more appropriate path), but she's right: You need to calm down about it. She got an unfortunate disease from a crappy boyfriend, and it's not like she's out there banging random guys and not telling them and spreading HSV like there's no tomorrow. Thanks for the support. This isn't about telling him or not. If there is potential and things progress, *of course* I will tell him. The reason I started this thread was whether to tell him before or not, and the resounding opinion on is that I shouldn't. I just think the majority of people are ill-informed and uneducated about it, so I understand the knee-jerk reaction of "OMG SHE HAS A STD!!!" I just really wish people would understand how common having HSV is and how preventable transmission can be if you take the proper precautions.
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