Emme Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 but I did it... I kept my hands from calling him and from sending an email. I came here earlier and I had to leave. I couldn't even take being on the site. You guys really help me out a lot and I just didn't want to talk about it because it hurts so bad. I am in my last hour and I feel a sense of pride that I didn't allow my emotions to control me. I miss him so much and love him, but in the end it's for best. It's the first time in 12-13 years I've never said happy birthday. So.. Happy Birthday to him.
Amour7 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Oh, Emme, I am so proud of you, and sorry it has been a hard day. Why do you resist posting when it hurts so bad? We are here for you and all of your emotions, all of your heartache, and to share in your pride for being strong. Keep it up, lady:) You are courageous.
Author Emme Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 I did it! Thanks guys... I really can't believe I did it. Amour I resist posting because it hurts that I didn't get to hear his voice or even got a chance to see him. It was a rough day today. I almost lost my mind thinking about past birthdays... torture. I just didn't want to talk about his birthday on his birthday. Water works ... It's just heart breaking to love someone and not have contact with them on a special day. Oh well... I feel a little stronger after today. I imagine that i'll crumble but it's all in my mind. I'm staying strong.
mizliz Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I had a huge urge to contact L, today. It's been weeks, and I was desperate to hear from him. Instead, we had snow flurries, so I went outside and asked for the strength to "love and let go". It happened. He knows I love him, and that is enough. It will be ok. Liz
TigerCub Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Emme, I am so proud of you for being so strong. You should be very proud of yourself!! Its all about the baby steps and the little victories
Flabbergaster Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Emme My eyes are watering up, I'm so proud of you. I know it hurt so badly...and you still did the right thing for yourself. It's hard, so hard, sometimes. I have been dreading the next b'day for xOW. You are my inspiration, now. I'll think of you that entire day, and take strength from you. I'm also happy you posted here, so that everyone can tell you that 'you are not alone.' Please, post earlier on the bad days. It helps you keep your strength. Don't be embarrassed about feeling so hurt, we know what it is like. We want to hold your hand when it is the worst, and help you keep moving forward towards a better you. On a really sad day...make sure you get through the day, because tomorrow will be better.
Jane Deaux Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Good Job Emme. Strong girl. Don't know if I could have done that. That's a big thing to make it through. A birthday. (clap hands) I'm on LS today trying to read good stuff too. I'm having a bad day as well. So I'm glad to read your post.
Author Emme Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 Thank you everyone for the support. I do feel stronger. Even though the process was me breaking down and crying, it helped. It really felt better to just let it out and cry. It's ok I guess to have memories and if that's all that I have, I'm coping with being content. I really surprised myself yesterday and it was eye opening. I pray we all have the strength when days like this are upon us. We need a support thread like that... post if you feel yourself breaking down to make contact. Or just having a sad day to just post. But it is what it is... Love... Who knew!
BB07 Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 Hugs and strength vibes coming your way for those that want a different life.
fooled once Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 but I did it... I kept my hands from calling him and from sending an email. I came here earlier and I had to leave. I couldn't even take being on the site. You guys really help me out a lot and I just didn't want to talk about it because it hurts so bad. I am in my last hour and I feel a sense of pride that I didn't allow my emotions to control me. I miss him so much and love him, but in the end it's for best. It's the first time in 12-13 years I've never said happy birthday. So.. Happy Birthday to him. You did great. A step forward for YOU! GOOD JOB!!! I had a huge urge to contact L, today. It's been weeks, and I was desperate to hear from him. Instead, we had snow flurries, so I went outside and asked for the strength to "love and let go". It happened. He knows I love him, and that is enough. It will be ok. Liz Liz, great post. Glad you went out and enjoyed the flurries. As simple as the say is ... time does help heal heart wounds. I wish you well. Emme, I am so proud of you for being so strong. You should be very proud of yourself!! Its all about the baby steps and the little victories EXCELLENT Tiger!! Thank you everyone for the support. I do feel stronger. Even though the process was me breaking down and crying, it helped. It really felt better to just let it out and cry. It's ok I guess to have memories and if that's all that I have, I'm coping with being content. I really surprised myself yesterday and it was eye opening. I pray we all have the strength when days like this are upon us. We need a support thread like that... post if you feel yourself breaking down to make contact. Or just having a sad day to just post. But it is what it is... Love... Who knew! Cry, mourn, grieve. Don't hold it in. Each day, you will get a little stronger. Hang in there.
Hazyhead Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 Aww, Emme! Well done on your strength through such a tough day. It must have been incredibly hard. Hugs, Hazy
Recommended Posts