USMCHokie Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Just wondering...for those of you who are FB users, what's the longest you've dated someone before you actually became friends on Facebook...? How long do you generally wait, and who usually friend's who...? Did it ever come up, or did someone just take the initiative to friend the other? Or is FB just stupid? I once dated a girl for about 2 and a half months...we never became FB friends...
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I always take the initiative and friend the guy either before, during or just after first date. Sometimes I will take my phone out on the first date and ask him for his last name...(that is if I like the guy and want to see him again). Guys that refuse this are nexted as I feel that they have something to hide. With online dating, I feel it's important to suss out if the guy is genuinely single. If there are lots of huggy girlfriend-like pics with the same female, the guy is nexted.
iris219 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 My ex and I were together off and on for about 5 years and we were never FB friends. He sent a request at one point, but I didn't accept--probably because I knew we'd eventually break up for good (and we have).
Cee Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Sometimes FB is used as part the getting acquainted process, so it has happened early on. I regret that because I have what I call the dating graveyard. I haven't unfriended some of them because we share music and political interests. Most of them are in relationships and I like to torture myself having them there. Then I stopped friending dates. I sent a request to my boyfriend the day after he said it would be cool for me to call him my boyfriend. He claims to hate FB, but has been fine w me tagging him on photos, etc. He's the first BF I've had since joining fb in 2008 so I'm pleased to have him on there.
Lilmisus Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I actually made my ex create a Facebook. I hadn't done Myspace in like three years which is what he still had even though he didn't use it, and he didn't have anyway of contact, so I asked him to soon after we started seeing one another, even though he didn't really have internet at the time. He surprised me a month and a half later by finally making one and adding me first.
Author USMCHokie Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 Sometimes FB is used as part the getting acquainted process, so it has happened early on. I regret that because I have what I call the dating graveyard. I haven't unfriended some of them because we share music and political interests. Most of them are in relationships and I like to torture myself having them there. I agree with this, and it's one of the big reasons why I avoid the FB with them early on...in the cases that I did FB friend early, I ended up unfriending them after it ended...
Cee Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 One time a guy dumped me after a lunch date and then posted on Facebook, he had a delicious meal. I was pissed, but true to my no drama rule, I didn't comment. He's still on my FB because he posts intelligent things about politics. But I have no desire to ever see him again. My BF purged his FB of all ppl not in his life and is down to 50 friends. Id like to do the same. Cut my friend list to the bone.
Lilmisus Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I agree with this, and it's one of the big reasons why I avoid the FB with them early on...in the cases that I did FB friend early, I ended up unfriending them after it ended... I agree with that too. Might I just add though to especially NOT add your date's family members early on. A few of my brother's exes did that to me and a few other family members (even though I don't even have him added), never talked to me in person, and it was pretty awkward when they broke up and they didn't bother deleting any of us. Some do, but most just..don't, and I hate to be rude to them by being the one to delete them. I'm currently facing the dilemma of being a hypocrite though and having like...10 of my ex's cousins, aunts, and friends added...but they each added me and are still trying to talk to me..soooo..
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Unfortunatly I have quite a large dating graveyard. The worst are guys that have dumped me and still regularly comment on my statuses like when we dated. I feel like they lack boundaries. I have to admit that I like to torture myself by comparing their new gfs to me and judge if they are better looking I did recently unfriend 10 past dating failures.
yah Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I think SO & I were fb friends around 2 months in. We were exclusive by then. For my ex, we were friends first so we were already fb buddies. ETA: SO's friends and some family fb friended me and tagged me in pics within days.
blackmagik Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I didn't add my current girlfriend whom I met online until after we had been dating/talking for 4 1/2 months. Its really hard to know when it is the right time. Sometimes you can see stuff you don't want or are not ready to see on their facebook page. To each their own.
Star Gazer Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Totally varies. Ranges anywhere from before the 1st date to a month or so in. I have no issue defriending guys where my feelings were hurt, they wanted more than I did, or we have absolutely nothing in common.
Confusedalways Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I don't know if it's my age (23) or what- but guys seem way more eager to friend me than I them. Ideally I'd like to wait until at least like 5 or 6 dates, but when I was single many guys did it prior to or just after the first date. Usually prior to. It was pretty easy back then, because we were in college and people seemed to friend people left and right in college, imo.
tigressA Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I don't know if it's my age (23) or what- but guys seem way more eager to friend me than I them. Ideally I'd like to wait until at least like 5 or 6 dates, but when I was single many guys did it prior to or just after the first date. Usually prior to. It was pretty easy back then, because we were in college and people seemed to friend people left and right in college, imo. Same here. The guys are always the ones asking to FB-friend me, and even before the first date (this is with online dating). I usually agree to it, but now I have a couple of guys in the "dating graveyard" myself and I'm thinking of deleting them since we don't talk or otherwise interact. My BF and I added each other after our second date.
jerbear Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Varies, I added those on the first date and those after one month. I usually put my dates in their own FB bucket so they see certain things like pictures or wall posts.
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