lovedude Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I know that this is a long story but I'd really appreciate someone helpin me out 'cos im feelin soo confused an hurt an no one seems to understand!!! let me start from the beginning, i'm 19 year old lad, i got with my now-ex girlfriend when i was 17 an she was 15. I was in a really bad place 'cos my Nanna had just passed away (god bless her) and my new girlfriend made things sooo much easier! She had problems at home, her parents were nasty and as an adopted child she felt alone and i guess i was her escape. An she was my escape from my sad life, seriously i grew up havin not many friends an being bullied a lot, you would never guess it if you saw me though. Anyway, I guess we were both broken an being togethor helped to fix us. We went through a whole lot of trouble, her parents threw her into a hostel because she wouldn't clean her room and she ended up pressured into taking drugs and bullied by lesbians (no joke). Anyway, I cudnt let this happen so we got a flat togethor. It was great living with her, we wud watch stupid TV and just cuddle.... it was perfect. But there was problems with the flat, the roof caved in and we left to move into an amazing house. Everything was fine except one thing - she wudnt clean up - ever! her parents would come round and moan about the cleaning and look down their nose at me because my parents don't have jobs and drink with family now and then (yet for the record my parents are in fact the two nicest most family-orientated people in the world and will do anyfink for anyone) Heres where it gets hard, almost two years after we got togethor an moved into this house we started to argue. Bills, the lack of jobs and simple boredom got the better of us and my girlfriend asked if we could go on a break where we can see other people... I told her i loved her and i wudnt wanna go on a break. I gave her a decision; either we make-up or break-up. She chose to stay with me. Two days later we had another argument and we both had a long, long tearful talk about goin our seperate ways and staying friends, agreeing that on what wud have been our two year anniversiary (3 months from now) we wud meet in the same place we met and talk about whether or not we wanna get back togethor and if weve both matured. Weve split for about a month now, and i have talked, but not made a move, on a girl. My ex has slept with someone else. She told me that he was nothing compared to me, in any way (except he has a bigger - you know what ). She also said she needs someone because shes so lonely, which is understandable, I was a very cuddly guy haha Anyway, when I was with her it was truthfully the happiest time of my life. For christmas i cried because the gift she got me was perfect, one day we had no money and spent the whole day walking 7 miles to KFC 2 share a meal and i swear 2 god that was the best damn day of my life, may sound sad but thats how much i love the girl... I need some help, and everyone I've talked to either tell me to stay away 'cos shes trouble or forget about her. I know that I will always have these special memories, weve went through sooo much togethor, much more than i could even put in this post. I know I will never forget her. One things for sure; I cant get back with her at this moment because we agreed to have time apart to focus on our career goals (which is actually goin quite well for me ) and so we dont feel like a married couple when we're both younger than 20! So my options remain: 1. I can try and get her out of my mind, move on and potentially never see her again and probably always regret it because she completed me. 2. I can put my jealousy to one side and stay close friends, go round with chinese food and curl up to a nice film (minus the sex - which isnt everything!) and we can chat and be there for each other and always share the amazing memories we have. 3. Stay completely out of contact, we can both have our fun experiementing with other people (sexually of course) and we can concentrate on getting the jobs we want. Then we can meet up on what would have been our 2nd year anniversiary and see how we feel. Potentially, all options could lead to getting back togethor in the future, but I don't know what to do.. all I know is that i love her sooo much and I want to keep the memory of our love alive, because it was really special. I need help making a decision though because I keep changing my mind and it's not helping anything!!!! Thank youu for reading and Any comments would be great
VJohnson32 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I would say take some time away from each other and evaluate your situation. Plus you are still very young, if you do end up getting married or whatever you two decide the chances are one of you will bail at one point once you mature enough. LTRs dont really last very long at your age. You have to know what you want from life and what to expect from your significant other. You are still in your teens, take this time away to see the big picture, if you still do want her back and she wants you as well I guaranteed down the road one of you will end up hurt again.
Author lovedude Posted March 26, 2011 Author Posted March 26, 2011 Wow, that was blunt! haha. But I guess you're right, we are still so young and as everyone keeps reminding me theres plenty more fish in the sea.. It was the first love for both of us. We both had hard lives and we were both broken. Being togethor fixed us. We had some AMAZING times, but things wasn't perfect, and some things could have been better. But imagine being in my shoes, holding the person you loved so much, both crying on each others shoulders because we were both finally happy for once in our lives... This is where I really need help guys, I've already made the decision to move on, but what the hell do I do with the memories?!? We had really good times and helped each other through sooo much! Everytime I think about them my heart hurts... I don't want her out of my life, we might not be destined to be togethor but I've no doubt that we are soulmates. Maybe after some time has passed, if my feelings for her numb down a bit, we can meet up as just good mates. As long as we're both happy thats all I really want, if we have to be just friends to be happy then thats good enough for me. I have two questions that I could do with advice on.... First of all, does anybody really get over their first love? Can you actually remember all of the good times and smile with no regrets? No aching heart or glossy eyes? Secondly, if we did become just friends down the line would it work out? Has anybody ever actually came out of a serious and loving relationship and turned out close friends in the end?
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