Von Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 First I just wanted to say thanks to the ladies here who helped me rewrite my profile. It sounds much more like me, rather than the one previous that sounded like I was too cocky and trying to hard. Awesome. So here's some interesting statistics that you can compare to see what I'm up against: Joined approx 3 months ago My Search radius: 85 miles Approx number of women in radius between 21-40: 2-3000 (seems to fluctuate?) Number of individual women to view me: 230 Total profile views: 739 Number of women who currently have me as a favorite: 8 Profiles I've blocked: 2 Profiles I removed from searches: 43 Winks I've received: 13 (I notice this number has gone up and down?) Winks sent: 30 (all were a 7 or better on my 1-10 scale of hotness lol) Approx number of emails sent/received combined: 300 Daily 5 I'm interested in: 28 Daily 5 they are interested: 17 My maybes: 6 Approx number of women I would consider dating given I was not picky about anything other than looks: about 300 in 85 mile radius Number of women I have met in person on a date: 3 Number of dates total: 3 (haha) Approx number of women I have exchanged personal info with: 20 Now then, I really am trying to figure out the best way to write first emails. When I'm real nice and ask friendly questions, I get no response. When I'm being funny and sarcastic but ask at least one question, I've gotten some responses. When I'm all "serious" I get nothing. I've had the most success with the women who have emailed ME first. But most of them I don't respond to because I do not find them attractive. Oh and winking at them has no effect at all. I also do have a few women who stalk my profile daily. Just to mention, I did also used to have a POF, but took it down. Don't remember the statistics, but that site can work but is full of sleazy man whores so the quality women either got off very quickly or would rather sit there getting their ego boosted than get to know me.
Kelemort Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 Welcome to the shark waters. I understand the dating pool is different for men and women - I have met many men whom I did not find particularly physically attractive at first, if at all. I have a "second date" policy - if the first date did not go well, I always try for a second time around to see if it improves. If it does, I keep going. I often found that after some months of dating...I did find them attractive. Even physically. Things that bothered me about them appearance-wise seemed foolish in hindsight. You are getting hits from girls and saying you've had the most success when they message you first - but the caveat is that they're not attractive to you. So? Meet them, go out and have fun. It doesn't mean that you have to propose to them the day you meet them. But see if there are any common interests. You may not meet the love of your life, but maybe you'll find a friend. I think you stand to lose more by writing off women you don't find attractive. Maybe you would feel differently about them in person?
Author Von Posted March 24, 2011 Author Posted March 24, 2011 But you have to remember Kelemort, that men are wired differently. I have rarely became physically attracted to someone after getting to know them if I wasn't already from the start. Also, attraction is not something we humans control. It is either on, or off. The one girl I met from the site had her attraction to me switched off INSTANTLY after one teasing silly rude comment I made. I guess I should give some background. When I was younger, I used to date VERY HOT women, like 9's and 10's. One had even been in playboy. Even though I consider myself a 7. I got used to that. As I've gotten older, I'm still reaching for women like that, but settling for 7's. And well I've been through alot and changed alot and matured alot also. But I'm not willing to settle for less than what I feel I deserve. Which is looks AND personality. (some of those 10's had looks and NO personality haha) As far as meeting girls I'm not into or attracted to, I really don't want to lead a buch of w
Author Von Posted March 24, 2011 Author Posted March 24, 2011 But you have to remember Kelemort, that men are wired differently. I have rarely became physically attracted to someone after getting to know them if I wasn't already from the start. Also, attraction is not something we humans control. It is either on, or off. The one girl I met from the site had her attraction to me switched off INSTANTLY after one teasing silly rude comment I made. I guess I should give some background. When I was younger, I used to date VERY HOT women, like 9's and 10's. One had even been in playboy. Even though I consider myself a 7. I got used to that. As I've gotten older, I'm still reaching for women like that, but settling for 7's. And well I've been through alot and changed alot and matured alot also, so that's why I've been fine with 7's. But I'm not willing to settle for less than what I feel I deserve. Which is looks AND personality. (some of those 10's had looks and NO personality haha) As far as meeting girls I'm not into or attracted to, I really don't want to lead a bunch of women on and hurt their feelings when I friendzone them. I would hate that done to me so I won't do that to them, knowing full well ahead of time that I would do that. I'm on the site looking for a relationship, not friends :-)
Kelemort Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 I understand there's different wiring at play, and obviously no one can tell you how to date - that's up to you. But if you do find that your current tactics aren't working, it's time to switch them up. What I said was merely one suggestion.
Author Von Posted March 24, 2011 Author Posted March 24, 2011 Dam double posting lol. No I get it. But I'm trying to change my tactics to get what I want though :-) not settle for less
Thedude22 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Ugh I hate internet dating, it truly is one of the easiest yet ineffective way to meet women. Big problem is the ratio there are basically 3:1 guy to girl ratio so whatever your looks number is, be prepared for it to drop by 3. If you're a 7, typically you become a 4 online. I have met like 8 girls online all of them except one lovely girl was either obese (medically, not even exaggerating), unintelligent, or socially incapable of handling a conversation and those are the kind of girls that are in my league online for the most part because online I am a 4. However once we meet in person I immediately become a 7 again and I usually have no interest in meeting again because we are simply not on the same level of dating. It could just be my area, I think if I lived in a big city or college town I could find more quality females on there.
zebracolors Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Good luck trying to have your cake and eat it too. You could be searching for a long time. And you wouldn't be leading them on, not on the first date. Only if you agreed to a 2nd date, when you really didn't want to go, would you be "leading" one on. But its your life. And if the women that you've considered "worthy" to message to are not responding to your e-mails maybe its because someone else's actually really caught their attention.
Author Von Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 Oh trust me, I live in a fairly big city, and most of the women I find attractive on there do not live here. But I also am mainly attracted to Mexican women, although I'm open for others. But in the last 10 years I've only dated like 3 white girls. I'm 34 and white btw.
Author Von Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 Good luck trying to have your cake and eat it too. You could be searching for a long time. And you wouldn't be leading them on, not on the first date. Only if you agreed to a 2nd date, when you really didn't want to go, would you be "leading" one on. But its your life. And if the women that you've considered "worthy" to message to are not responding to your e-mails maybe its because someone else's actually really caught their attention. No your right. It's gunna be hard to find that one girl where it all works. But please keep in mind I do not want to casually date. I'm looking for someone I can eventually get married to and start a family with, and since I have but one life to live, I'd like that to be with a woman I'm also sexually attracted to. And ya there are probably better options on there than me. I'm not saying I'm all that. I did find one on there, but remember she rejected me because of a slip up. To those really hot girls I hit up, I'm probably just "one of the sausages"... Lol
Thedude22 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Oh trust me, I live in a fairly big city, and most of the women I find attractive on there do not live here. But I also am mainly attracted to Mexican women, although I'm open for others. But in the last 10 years I've only dated like 3 white girls. I'm 34 and white btw. Honestly as a man I think it gets easier to date because women are attracted to your experience and money plus the fact girls in there late 20s begin to get extremely desperate as their biological clock starts to tick-tick-tock. Can you still get chicks in their 20s at 34? I hope so, I feel like women age much faster than men do appearance wise. I dig mexican chicks too but to date them exclusively? Hah that must make things a lot harder.
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