Jerrica Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 So I was doing good, I'm in day 2 of NC since he came to get some of his stuff. I still have his computer though, and I use it because it's all I have right now. I went to do some writing (poetry) and I found the poem he had written me the first few months we started dating. I went to properties, to find it was written a year before we even met.......OUCH! Guess it wasn't written about me after all. I also found a love poem written 2 weeks after we met.....I always suspected he was never over his ex (even though she cheated and aborted his baby without telling him). He also started dating her again behind my back when we were together about 3 months ago. But I took him back after this. I also caught him talking highly of her ("so sexy such a tight a$$, sexy smile, so delicious") on facebook to his guy friends the day we broke up. Also found out he still has the engagement ring he was gonna give this girl. SOOOO now I'm feeling terrible, like I was his rebound for a year and a half!!! I was used for 1.5 years!!! Was I really? I love this guy SOOO much, did he EVER love me? or were they just words? What does this girl have that is so much better than me? I was nothing but faithful to him. I am so angry and hurt that I feel like calling him and yelling at him for using me. But I haven't....yet. Thought I'd post here first and get some advice before I do anything rash.
EyesWideOpen Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 I went to do some writing (poetry) and I found the poem he had written me the first few months we started dating. I went to properties, to find it was written a year before we even met.......OUCH! Guess it wasn't written about me after all. F'in ouch indeed! I am so angry and hurt that I feel like calling him and yelling at him for using me. But I haven't....yet. Thought I'd post here first and get some advice before I do anything rash. And naturally so! It's completely understandable to want to get things off your chest and make a point. But...the conversation likely wouldn't go where you want it to. And it could end up being more hurtful in the end. Do you really want to risk that just to (essentially) vent? Maybe tee off to a friend first...followed with two pints of Haggen Daaz...and see if it helps. =)
Author Jerrica Posted March 24, 2011 Author Posted March 24, 2011 So was I just a rebound to him? Can rebounds even last 1.5 years?? I feel like I meant nothing to him, just a distraction for a year and a half. Seriously what kind of people do this?
EyesWideOpen Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 So was I just a rebound to him? Can rebounds even last 1.5 years?? I feel like I meant nothing to him, just a distraction for a year and a half. Seriously what kind of people do this? That's a tough one. You may have started the relationship as a rebound. And yes, perhaps he never got over his ex. But I don't think that can be taken as far as to say you meant nothing more to him than a distraction. It in my experience, people don't stick around with people for as long as he did if that person means *nothing*. I'm sure he felt something for you, otherwise the relationship would've crumbled a lot sooner. I really am sorry. I've seen this before between a couple of my friends (we'll call them Jack and Jill). Jack was head over heels in love with this girl (we'll call her Psycho), but it was such a bad relationship that he walked away. He got involved with Jill while still having lingering feelings for Pyscho, and Jack and Jill continued to be together for a little over a year. But he never got over Psycho during that time. He always had lingering doubts about Psycho, and so he wasn't fully emotionally committed to Jill. Evenutally he broke up with Jill. That is not to say he didn't have feelings for her. He DID love Jill, but held on to this fantasy of fated love with Psycho. It could be simply stated that his lingering feelings and doubts for Psycho were stronger than his love for Jill. He immediately went back to Psycho, found out she was still crazy as hell. Broke up with her after a few months...and wanted Jill back. Jill, of course, still loved Jack - but told him to f*ck off...this went on for MONTHS. Jack has stayed persistent, and claims to this day that he needed to try again with Psycho to squash those lingering doubts...and that he still truly loves Jill. Maybe that's something similar to what's going on with you. Maybe he loved you, but he can't get over whats-her-face. Who knows. Whatever the reason, his loss!
Author Jerrica Posted March 24, 2011 Author Posted March 24, 2011 oh yes, that sounds very similar, his ex sounded very selfish and like she didn't treat him well. He told me he was crushed when he found her making out with another guy. Yet he still tried to go back. Maybe some guys just like girls who treat them bad? like the "want what you can't have" syndrome.... I hope he did love me....because I was very good to him and loved him very much. Although he hasn't come back to me yet..... thanks so much for sharing your story helped a lot.
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