Why do women assume most men are whores?

[threebyfate]

Personally, I blame how society pressures women to essentially protect themselves. Growing up as a girl, we are taught that sex causes us to be "that girl" - the sluts, the hussies, the undesirables that no worthwhile man would EVER want.

 

In the same blow, it is impressed upon us to watch out for "that guy" who wants us only for the sex (which, again, we are not supposed to give up in order to avoid being "that girl"). "That guy" is instinctively cunning, a liar, and deceitful...thus you never know who "that guy is".

 

Enter the paranoia and defensiveness that creates the base assumption that a guy must be a sex-craze man-whore...unless proven otherwise.

 

 

In no way am I implying that it is fair, or even accurate. I'm just saying our mommies taught us to be this way.

More daddies than mommies, since daddies were once young horn dogs themselves!

[EyesWideOpen]

More daddies than mommies, since daddies were once young horn dogs themselves!

 

Very true!

[fishtaco]

Personally, I blame how society pressures women to essentially protect themselves. Growing up as a girl, we are taught that sex causes us to be "that girl" - the sluts, the hussies, the undesirables that no worthwhile man would EVER want.

 

In the same blow, it is impressed upon us to watch out for "that guy" who wants us only for the sex (which, again, we are not supposed to give up in order to avoid being "that girl"). "That guy" is instinctively cunning, a liar, and deceitful...thus you never know who "that guy is".

 

Enter the paranoia and defensiveness that creates the base assumption that a guy must be a sex-craze man-whore...unless proven otherwise.

 

 

In no way am I implying that it is fair, or even accurate. I'm just saying our mommies taught us to be this way.

 

So this is all your mom's fault!

 

Just kidding.

 

I'm sure daddy's should take equal blame. Either way, we are all victims of the double standard, one way or another. Dating I feel is should be a cooperative effort. Having a double standard makes things difficult for everyone. Yet, many men and women still subscribe to it.

 

Oh well. I'm just here to do the best I can under the current system. If the system says don't be cooperative, be paranoid and defensive, then I will act accordingly.

[Mr.Cairo]

I'd love it if women thought I was a whore.

 

It would be much easier for me to start getting some action.

 

Buddy, you should stop going to those PUA forums. The women who are interested in male sluts are broken. They have a crap load of problems you wouldn't want to deal with if the possibility of sex wasn't there.

 

Good, high quality women aren't interested in male toilets. Not only because those PUA guys are infected with stds to the hilt, but also because wanting to have sex with every woman does not exactly turn her on.

 

To know that this man is interested in her instead of being attracted to another woman, that is flattering and even if she's not interested in you, sexually, you've made herself feel sexy and that helps you and helps her out.

 

You feel like you are good enough to make a woman feel good about herself and she will see men in a more positive line.

 

Most women don't think that men are sluts. You think women would want anything to do with men if most guys were sluts? Women can live fully well without relationships. They'd rather stay single than having a male slut or a guy who is with her because of lack of options.

 

If a woman says that most males are sluts, that woman has been looking for a man in the wrong places.

[sally4sara]

Have sex when you want to have sex and if the sex you want is available.

 

But,

Walk around willing to have sex with just about anyone offering, whether its the kind of situation you are looking for or not? Then you are a "whore". I don't care what gender you are.

[Mr.Cairo]

Personally, I blame how society pressures women to essentially protect themselves. Growing up as a girl, we are taught that sex causes us to be "that girl" - the sluts, the hussies, the undesirables that no worthwhile man would EVER want.

 

In the same blow, it is impressed upon us to watch out for "that guy" who wants us only for the sex (which, again, we are not supposed to give up in order to avoid being "that girl"). "That guy" is instinctively cunning, a liar, and deceitful...thus you never know who "that guy is".

 

Enter the paranoia and defensiveness that creates the base assumption that a guy must be a sex-craze man-whore...unless proven otherwise.

 

 

In no way am I implying that it is fair, or even accurate. I'm just saying our mommies taught us to be this way.

 

This is completely true. I once went out with a woman and promptly moved on to another one because when we were starting to become intimate she told me that I only wanted her to be my slut.

 

What the? Having sex in a relationship or having sex with a man 5 minutes after meeting him does not make her a slut. There is no such thing as a slut. A woman with many sexual partners is a woman who enjoys the thrill and the joy of making love with a new partner.

 

The guys who call a woman a slut are those frustrated little chumps thinking that by controlling a woman's sexuality they are going to get some.

 

You lot don't call each other sluts but you lower women to the level of dogs because they enjoy sex - or is it because that woman didn't want to have sex with you?

 

I've never seen a man complain when a woman shows sexual interest in him, unless he's one of those PUA freaks who thinks that he's entitled to Angelina Jolie when she was 18 year old..

 

Thankfully more and more women and men(mostly the 18-24 generation) are letting go of this sickening tendency to treat a woman who is confident with herself, with her sexuality, and capable of enjoying herself and making a man enjoy her as a slut.

 

But what can we expect from a bunch of guys whose ancestors venerated Christ's mother because they thought she was a virgin?

 

Give me a break.

 

And girl, if you find yourself attracted to a man and if you want to jump his bones, do so. Do not ask for advice on 'is he going to find me a slut if I have sex with him without a ring on my finger', just make sure the guy respects you, that you have protection: and go for it!

 

It amazes me how so many people think that if you are having sex with someone you owe something to that person. All you have to do is to not judge people, it's marvelous how they react when they aren't being judged by you or by society.

 

They open up to you and good, lasting memories are created. Instead of all this silly stuff of 'I've gone on three dates with her. If she doesn't have sex with me by the 6th date, should I date her?'

 

What happens? The socially restricted human beings tell that man that she isn't interested in him. Move on. But secretly the woman has been wanting to sleep with him since she met him. Now she lost him because of the social idealization that sex can only be had by 'good girls ' in 'relationships'.

 

They're also silly to the point of saying that a woman with more than a set number of sexual partners is a slut. And they wonder why women aren't interested in them? Maybe if they'd stop seeing women as sexual objects they could have a chance of enjoying what the other guys, the ones who weren't silly followers of Society enjoyed?

 

Because they didn't judge the woman.

Edited March 24, 2011 by Mr.Cairo

[Mangomonkey]

As to how it went from manwhore to its okay for women being sluts i really dont know. Honestly when im judged as a whore i really couldnt care less. The woman will still want me regardless and if not then Ill find another.

 

And as for sugar coating sluts as a person being more free spirited is just that. Sugar coating it. If your a slut then so be it your a slut male or female.

 

Me personally. I would still love them the same if they aren't ashamed about their sexuality. If they are then it just raises questions. Why be slutty if your ashamed of it? but thats a whole different topic. i think.

[Kelemort]

Good Lord, all I see here is "Women are money-grabbing whores" and "Men are big jerkbags." Burnt much by previous relationships?

 

I've met a lot of crappy people from both genders. There, I leveled the playing field.

[Mr.Cairo]

http://www.livescience.com/7038-men-report-sex-partners-women.html

 

 

And what's really hilarious is that women give lower numbers, hiding how many guys they've been with because society sees them as whores and the men increase the numbers thinking that they're studs.

 

As I've said before, I've had one woman put the 'I mustn't have sex with you too early because you'd think of me as a slut', I very quickly moved away from that, and I've also had a woman interested in a relationship with me, lying to me about how many guys she slept with because she, again, was told by society that a man cares about that.

 

I was shacking my head because before, when she saw me as casual fun, she told me that she had gone to bed with more than an handful. After becoming interested in a relationship she suddenly turned into a virgin .

 

I don't care about a woman's sexual number. In fact, I'd rather much have her to have a high number of sexual mates because that shows to me that she's not going to make the time spent with me to be something that it's really not.

[Mangomonkey]

i thought the subject was funny at first. Guess i just pushed certain buttons for some people

[jane100]

This is true. Having the reputation of being a player never hurts men in the dating world.

 

Why do you write this horrible stuff. Its untrue. And its creepy.

[Mr.Cairo]

Who cares. That just means if you act like a whore, women will be... oh boys will be boys, and you can get away with pushing the limit.

 

So push the limit.

 

Unless you're the top 5% of men that women will trip over each other to get at (which unsurprisingly, they're more likely to be whores, because they CAN), you have to push the limit or you will not get anywhere.

 

Or you could choose to be the "the man that women want you to be", and you will very quickly find out that you will have their love and respect, and become their bestest friend in the whole wide world.

 

Think of it this way. If the manwhore is so undesirable, then how can he be a manwhore at all? He'd be a creepy virgin.

 

What? so the new fad is the belief that 5% of males get all the sex? Whatever happened to the myth that the top 20% gets all the sex? They moved to Mars?

 

Maybe we're living in different planets bro, but I see average men with average women all the time, and I see beautiful women with beautiful men. Or are you a bit like the PUA guys who think that sex is only sex when the sex is with Angelina Jolie?

 

you wanna know why there are male virgins well into their 20's? Their jealous of their more good looking friends getting all of the pretty girls while the Jane Doe gets angry at being shunned by a man that is at her level just to chase a fantasy and then these guys wonder why average women are resentful.

 

Maybe it has something to do with people not liking to be the backup plan. You guys need to let go of your PUA books, stop going to nightclubs and go out to places the women who are at your reach are at.

 

To assume that a man ' slut' is desirable because he's a 'slut' makes no sense and this is one of those cases when what doesn't make sense has a reason behind it.

 

Maybe the good is charming. Maybe he reminds her of her summer crush when she was 16. Maybe she just wanted to have sex.

 

Who do you think a woman is more interested in having sex? Guys who think that 5% of men get all of the sex(and trust me, women can tell which guy has this mentality) or with a guy who:

 

1)Does not think of women as bitches(much like the PUA think)

2) Do not see a woman as only her looks.

3)Isn't interested in sleeping with just anything with a pair of boobs.

4)Thinks he's entitled to having sex with her because he went out with her or whatever.

5)Assumes that most males are virgins while 5% are getting all the sex.

 

If people stick to their leagues there won't be heart break. Either grow several more inches to be 6 feet tall, or go to the gym to build up your body.

 

Or buy expensive clothes, or making 6 figures a year - if having the Angelina Jolie is that important to you.

[Mr.Cairo]

Why do you write this horrible stuff. Its untrue. And its creepy.

 

So let me see if I get this straight, woggle. You think that women are interested in Players, the vast majority being creeps, trying to get some, despite of how drunk the women they are 'seducing' are, not thinking of the stds they are going to get, and god knows what else.

 

Is that what you think women want? Broken women are interested in that kind of guy. Let me guess. You saw a good looking woman with a guy like that and you assume that all women -especially the average looking - have to be like that?

[Woggle]

I used to be a player and the more women I had the more attractive I became.

[fortyninethousand322]

What? so the new fad is the belief that 5% of males get all the sex? Whatever happened to the myth that the top 20% gets all the sex? They moved to Mars?

 

Maybe we're living in different planets bro, but I see average men with average women all the time, and I see beautiful women with beautiful men. Or are you a bit like the PUA guys who think that sex is only sex when the sex is with Angelina Jolie?

 

you wanna know why there are male virgins well into their 20's? Their jealous of their more good looking friends getting all of the pretty girls while the Jane Doe gets angry at being shunned by a man that is at her level just to chase a fantasy and then these guys wonder why average women are resentful.

 

Maybe it has something to do with people not liking to be the backup plan. You guys need to let go of your PUA books, stop going to nightclubs and go out to places the women who are at your reach are at.

 

To assume that a man ' slut' is desirable because he's a 'slut' makes no sense and this is one of those cases when what doesn't make sense has a reason behind it.

 

Maybe the good is charming. Maybe he reminds her of her summer crush when she was 16. Maybe she just wanted to have sex.

 

Who do you think a woman is more interested in having sex? Guys who think that 5% of men get all of the sex(and trust me, women can tell which guy has this mentality) or with a guy who:

 

1)Does not think of women as bitches(much like the PUA think)

2) Do not see a woman as only her looks.

3)Isn't interested in sleeping with just anything with a pair of boobs.

4)Thinks he's entitled to having sex with her because he went out with her or whatever.

5)Assumes that most males are virgins while 5% are getting all the sex.

 

If people stick to their leagues there won't be heart break. Either grow several more inches to be 6 feet tall, or go to the gym to build up your body.

 

Or buy expensive clothes, or making 6 figures a year - if having the Angelina Jolie is that important to you.

 

What is this obsession you have with Angelina Jolie? Good gracious, certainly there are better looking and more intelligent women to mention in a post.

 

Do you want to know why there are male virgins in their 20s? All kinds of reasons. That's it. End of the mystery. It's not about leagues, or status etc.

 

I always love your posts though, they always give me a good chuckle. Half the time I wonder if you're actually serious.

[Mr.Cairo]

I used to be a player and the more women I had the more attractive I became.

 

 

But the women you were with were probably garbage. You were more attractive to broken women, women who had serious issues because no real woman is going to want a player.

[Mr.Cairo]

What is this obsession you have with Angelina Jolie? Good gracious, certainly there are better looking and more intelligent women to mention in a post.

 

Do you want to know why there are male virgins in their 20s? All kinds of reasons. That's it. End of the mystery. It's not about leagues, or status etc.

 

I always love your posts though, they always give me a good chuckle. Half the time I wonder if you're actually serious.

 

I mention Angelina Jolie because she's a very attractive woman. Maybe you think Jessica Alba to be more beautiful but to me she's not that good looking. Another guy will find Adriana Lima to be his embodiment of what a beautiful woman is all about.

 

No, trust me. I've met plenty of guys who were virgins but didn't want to admit the reason. They were virgins because they were holding out for the most pretty woman they could find but the woman wasn't interested.

 

They were virgins because they were shy. They were virgins because they had low self-esteem. What I find intriguing about virgins in their 20's, is that the men say that women are only interested in 20%, 5% whatever of males while the women have not yet found a guy who shared her goals or they weren't attracted to them.

 

They don't create endless posts about how 5% are getting all the sex.

 

Half the time I wonder if you're actually serious.

 

What can I say? I'm an admirer of the statue of liberty.

[holly369]

Hmm..in my case b/c most men seem "programmed" for sex i.e. they can have sex without getting attached.Sure they have emotions, no doubt about that but they seem to be selective emotions towards few selected women

 

It may sound judgemental but if anything it is more like a defence mechanism as women do get attached quicker and more often

[fortyninethousand322]

I mention Angelina Jolie because she's a very attractive woman. Maybe you think Jessica Alba to be more beautiful but to me she's not that good looking. Another guy will find Adriana Lima to be his embodiment of what a beautiful woman is all about.

 

No, trust me. I've met plenty of guys who were virgins but didn't want to admit the reason. They were virgins because they were holding out for the most pretty woman they could find but the woman wasn't interested.

 

They were virgins because they were shy. They were virgins because they had low self-esteem. What I find intriguing about virgins in their 20's, is that the men say that women are only interested in 20%, 5% whatever of males while the women have not yet found a guy who shared her goals or they weren't attracted to them.

 

They don't create endless posts about how 5% are getting all the sex.

 

Half the time I wonder if you're actually serious.

 

What can I say? I'm an admirer of the statue of liberty.

 

Jessica Alba is attractive, but I'm more into intellectually challenging women, even over supermodels and actresses. A woman tells me she's read something by Fareed Zakaria or Paul Johnson's Modern Times I think I'd marry her on the spot (haha not really).

 

I guess I'm the exception that proves the rule then because I most definitely do not believe that women go for only the top 20% or whatever. I have friends, most of whom are just as good looking and make the same or less money as I do and are in relationships and have no problems attracting girls. I would certainly say guys like me (early 20s virgins) are in the minority not the majority by any means. I wonder if some of those male virgins you met even had that many friends to base reality off of.

 

The shyness I can relate to though, so I can definitely see that.

[Woggle]

But the women you were with were probably garbage. You were more attractive to broken women, women who had serious issues because no real woman is going to want a player.

 

Who are you to say these women are garbage. Sure I have been on dates with some pieces of work but many of them just weren't the kind of women I was looking for. I am also married to a great women who is far from garbage and no man should ever call her that in my presence.

[Mr.Cairo]

Who are you to say these women are garbage. Sure I have been on dates with some pieces of work but many of them just weren't the kind of women I was looking for. I am also married to a great women who is far from garbage and no man should ever call her that in my presence.

 

I'm the guy whose female friends are approached by players thinking that they can get the woman drunk. Sorry, my friends don't drink.

 

Well, you do show yourself to be a bitterly angry man with your hatred for women so I do wonder what that woman saw in you. There are some mysteries on this planet still unsolved.

[Woggle]

I never got a woman drunk and I was always honest. I told women upfront that they were just a fun fling and they went for it. One FWB got attached though and I nearly had to get a restraining order.

 

I admit I do have serious trust issues with women. I have told the story of why tons of times on here but I am working on those issues.

 

My point is that horrible people of both genders in many cases do extremely well with the opposite sex. It's why serial killers get love letters in prison and female guards with inmates at Rikers Island. You also see it the other way around with man eaters who have men fawning all over them.

[Anela]

One thing that I assume doesn't need to be said but I'll say it anyways.

 

It's much harder for a man to be a whore than a woman is.

 

When a man is a whore, it means that a lot of women are attracted to him. And thus when a woman hears about it, she will become more curious about him. Sure some prudes might be scared away. So what?

 

Prudes? A woman doesn't have to be a prude, to be turned off by a man-whore. I feel the same way as zen-girl:

 

If you mean, why do I assume most men will sleep with me pretty darn easily, it's because a lot of men have tried to sleep with me and I haven't met too many men who are really super-choosy about who they'll bang. I've met a few, and I definitely think men choose to see sex as something important, rather than casual (i.e. They have options, they have a high libido, and yet they've chosen not to take them, even despite attraction in some cases) are sexier and better longterm partners. But those are rare specimens indeed!

[dispatch3d]

What? so the new fad is the belief that 5% of males get all the sex? Whatever happened to the myth that the top 20% gets all the sex? They moved to Mars?

 

Maybe we're living in different planets bro, but I see average men with average women all the time, and I see beautiful women with beautiful men. Or are you a bit like the PUA guys who think that sex is only sex when the sex is with Angelina Jolie?

 

you wanna know why there are male virgins well into their 20's? Their jealous of their more good looking friends getting all of the pretty girls while the Jane Doe gets angry at being shunned by a man that is at her level just to chase a fantasy and then these guys wonder why average women are resentful.

 

Maybe it has something to do with people not liking to be the backup plan. You guys need to let go of your PUA books, stop going to nightclubs and go out to places the women who are at your reach are at.

 

To assume that a man ' slut' is desirable because he's a 'slut' makes no sense and this is one of those cases when what doesn't make sense has a reason behind it.

 

Maybe the good is charming. Maybe he reminds her of her summer crush when she was 16. Maybe she just wanted to have sex.

 

Who do you think a woman is more interested in having sex? Guys who think that 5% of men get all of the sex(and trust me, women can tell which guy has this mentality) or with a guy who:

 

1)Does not think of women as bitches(much like the PUA think)

2) Do not see a woman as only her looks.

3)Isn't interested in sleeping with just anything with a pair of boobs.

4)Thinks he's entitled to having sex with her because he went out with her or whatever.

5)Assumes that most males are virgins while 5% are getting all the sex.

 

If people stick to their leagues there won't be heart break. Either grow several more inches to be 6 feet tall, or go to the gym to build up your body.

 

Or buy expensive clothes, or making 6 figures a year - if having the Angelina Jolie is that important to you.

 

I agree with your points but I disagree with your mindset. The whole argument is premised on the fact guys are going for girls "out of their league" and you base leagues on looks.

 

The way I see it is guys base everything on looks. Much like you have just done (every guy feels entitled to jolie's, or the PUA types are going after jolie's). The fact is people are overvaluing appearances, and undervaluing actual human decency (or however you want to phrase it).