kris-26 Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 So basically the short version of of my break up is my ex bf is completly emotionally cut off. He has major emotional issues from abuse as a child. He can not feel love, cant care like normal people, has profound amount of self hate, guilt and flat out miserable. He will most likely stay this way and has said so himself. Well we finally 7 days ago started NC again. It was not a nice conversation, he was mean to me (blaming me for everything) but the problem I have while obviously dealing with the emotions coming from NC- I am pregnant. He is aware of this....and he said he needs to time to think if he will be able to be a father. He told me to contact him once the baby is born and he will wait for court documents regarding paternity test and child support. I said to him, "so you are planning on not talking to me this whole pregnancy?" and he said yes. He said my life will be better w out him in it and he even if its only 1% better w out me in his life, he'll take it. So now I am left here to figure out what is best. I have a daughter from my ex husband so I know how hard it is taking care of a child pretty much yourself. So now, I just dont know what to do. I know my ex is not a healthy or good person. and he treats me horribly and said some pretty hurtful things our last conversation. So now its been 7 days NC. Obviously I will not be contacting him and using this time to heal. But the obvious problem, can I have the baby alone? Will he really not be involved in the pregnancy at all? I dont know I could ever forgive him or have a child with someone who would just walk away for nine months. What do you guys think? Can someone that emotionall disconnected really walk away from a pregnancy?? Any advice would be help!
sedona Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 I'm so, so sorry for you! From what you write, it sounds like this guy can walk away from your pregnancy. He unfortunately wouldn't be the first. But I doubt that anyone on this forum can tell you whether you can have another child or not - that's maybe why no one has responded. This is a decision that you have to make for yourself. Do you have someone -- a family member close friend, minister, etc.- that you could talk to about this?
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