lost

[mariasloss]

Hi there i am 28 years old. i had a relationship with my current boyfriend for 8 years, on and off. he is 34 years old. we ha a fantastic relationship right from the beginning. about years into the relationship i found out that he was doing online dating sites which broke my heart and trust. stupidly i stayed with him thiking i could trust him once again. never could. his defense was always it was never cheating so i shouldnt have to worry. we continued dating and he was about to start school for teaching and i decided that he would be better off without me. i also felt like the relationship had fallen apart. he didnt feel the need to be affectionate with me. this is when he developed anxiety. i went my way and he insisted he still wanted to be with me. we wnt out for a dinner one night and he proposed i was happy and excited thinking okay maybe he realized he wants to be with me. we got an apartment together and lived with each other for 3 more years. he decided to stop showing affection. he started going out until 7 am in the morninig he would say he is embarrsed of me because i am shy. i was hurt. and i finally got the courage to leave. and now here we are again. he begged for us to get back together and now he hates me because i ruin everything for him. he says he doesnt want to even touch me because he is so angry with me..... because he took out a loan to help pay bail for a suspended liscense that i am currenlty working on. i lost my job. and not too long ago he had a chat with one of his girlfriends saying he wants to get rid of me.......... when confronted he said he didnt mean it..... we were supposed to get counseling, but i hate knowing that he wants to get rid of me just is hurtful...... please help!!!!