PegNosePete Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 In this case I would tell him that it's over and that you don't want to be his friend. Otherwise he will follow you around asking what's wrong blah blah. So just tell him you don't want to talk to him any more and that's the end of it.
betterdeal Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 So your relationship has changed to one with occasional casual sex and a sort of exclusivity clause when you're in sight of each other. If that makes you happy, keep doing it. If it doesn't, stop doing it. Personally, I like being able to flirt with anyone I want without having to give a sh*t about someone I'm not in a committed relationship with getting upset. That's why I gave up on that limbo-land sort of not-relationship with all the downsides and few of the upsides business.
Author Anna86 Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 Depplover, I agree about not going to places where he is.....But, all my friends are going to this 2moro as it is our close friends birthday..I owe it to myself to go. Why should I be the one to miss out? I just want to still continue to hang out with my friends. I don't want to lose them also. Pete, maybe I should tell him its all over....I doubt he will even care that much, probably a bit of a bruised ego but I am sure there are many girls who will stroke ot back for him. Betterdeal, he is really being a douche about it. He doesn't want a relationship with me, yet wants to sleep with me, call me, share problems with me....AND flirt with other girls, amybe even more...Seems like somebody got a bit too lucky this year. Ugh, I am not allowing this any longer. I really feel that I know it has to end. I am being made a fool of. He has no intentions of doing anything other than use me physically and emotionally. Why has it taken me so long to finally figure this out? Penny has dropped..... BTW, I feel good now. I feel excited that maybe someday soon I can be free of him!!!! It's my aim......I would do anything to get him out of my head.
takemedrunkimhome Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Depplover, I agree about not going to places where he is.....But, all my friends are going to this 2moro as it is our close friends birthday..I owe it to myself to go. Why should I be the one to miss out? I just want to still continue to hang out with my friends. I don't want to lose them also. Pete, maybe I should tell him its all over....I doubt he will even care that much, probably a bit of a bruised ego but I am sure there are many girls who will stroke ot back for him. Betterdeal, he is really being a douche about it. He doesn't want a relationship with me, yet wants to sleep with me, call me, share problems with me....AND flirt with other girls, amybe even more...Seems like somebody got a bit too lucky this year. Ugh, I am not allowing this any longer. I really feel that I know it has to end. I am being made a fool of. He has no intentions of doing anything other than use me physically and emotionally. Why has it taken me so long to finally figure this out? Penny has dropped..... BTW, I feel good now. I feel excited that maybe someday soon I can be free of him!!!! It's my aim......I would do anything to get him out of my head. why even tell him it's over? that gives him the chance to mind ***k you again. i say, just scrap the guy, look at all of the crap he's put you through. he's not worth your time at all.
depplover_1980 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 It's called short term changes for long term gain Anna - your real friends would understand. As I said, you're really going because he's going to be there. Depplover, I agree about not going to places where he is.....But, all my friends are going to this 2moro as it is our close friends birthday..I owe it to myself to go. Why should I be the one to miss out? I just want to still continue to hang out with my friends. I don't want to lose them also. Pete, maybe I should tell him its all over....I doubt he will even care that much, probably a bit of a bruised ego but I am sure there are many girls who will stroke ot back for him. Betterdeal, he is really being a douche about it. He doesn't want a relationship with me, yet wants to sleep with me, call me, share problems with me....AND flirt with other girls, amybe even more...Seems like somebody got a bit too lucky this year. Ugh, I am not allowing this any longer. I really feel that I know it has to end. I am being made a fool of. He has no intentions of doing anything other than use me physically and emotionally. Why has it taken me so long to finally figure this out? Penny has dropped..... BTW, I feel good now. I feel excited that maybe someday soon I can be free of him!!!! It's my aim......I would do anything to get him out of my head.
robinseggblue Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 ''Hey, just need you to know that I really cant do this any longer. It HAS to stop. I am not able to move on from you this way. Please, please don't contact me or anything. If I see you out just say hi and walk away...Keep it simple. Understand under no circumstances try to sleep with me or kiss me as its really ****ing up my head. If I flirt with u, don't accept it. Just say no and walk off''.................... I am sorry that you are going through this, and I know how it feels. You can't believe that someone you love is actually using you. He is using you. I KNOW how hard it is to believe this. Trust me. Deep down, most people just care about themselves. It's evolution, (the need to just take care of and consider yourself) to survive. He is using you. I know because you are involved in this, that it is hard to "hear" how you are coming across, but the quote from your post (above) is sounding REALLY needy and desperate EVEN THOUGH it is supposed to sound strong and have a strong impact. Here are some suggestions for rewording: "It really has to stop" ----> "It is GOING to stop. NOW" (The way you've written it, makes it sound like it is up to him and he still has the power, because that is how you are feeling right now. You have to show him that you've made a decision and are sticking to it. It's really the only hope you have at this point, but I know it's hard for you to see. "Please please don't contact me or anything"----> "Please don't contact me." (The please please makes it sound like you are begging, which you are) "Please don't" is polite but strong. "If I see you, out just ......." -----> Omit this, and tell him what he can expect you to do when he sees YOU out. EG." If we meet, I don't mind being cordial with you, after all, I still consider you a friend." Telling him what to do is ridiculous. It's like saying "I am like putty in your hands, and if you make any attempt at being nice to me, I will cave" He reads this and thinks "Well, to keep her around, that's exactly what I need to do" He will do exactly the opposite of what you are pleading with him not to do. He's not stupid. (Well, stupid for letting you go I guess!) "If I flirt with you, just accept it?" ----->This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. You are NOT going to flirt with him, because you are no longer interested in him. (I realize that isn't true, but you HAVE to play like it is) If you start talking like this to him, and acting the same way, I really don't think he will even recognize you, considering how you've been acting (I don't fault you for it, I know it's because you a sweet person, but it HAS to stop!) It's your only chance. It's your only chance. He is using you. It's your only chance. He is using you.
takemedrunkimhome Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I am sorry that you are going through this, and I know how it feels. You can't believe that someone you love is actually using you. He is using you. I KNOW how hard it is to believe this. Trust me. Deep down, most people just care about themselves. It's evolution, (the need to just take care of and consider yourself) to survive. He is using you. I know because you are involved in this, that it is hard to "hear" how you are coming across, but the quote from your post (above) is sounding REALLY needy and desperate EVEN THOUGH it is supposed to sound strong and have a strong impact. Here are some suggestions for rewording: "It really has to stop" ----> "It is GOING to stop. NOW" (The way you've written it, makes it sound like it is up to him and he still has the power, because that is how you are feeling right now. You have to show him that you've made a decision and are sticking to it. It's really the only hope you have at this point, but I know it's hard for you to see. "Please please don't contact me or anything"----> "Please don't contact me." (The please please makes it sound like you are begging, which you are) "Please don't" is polite but strong. "If I see you, out just ......." -----> Omit this, and tell him what he can expect you to do when he sees YOU out. EG." If we meet, I don't mind being cordial with you, after all, I still consider you a friend." Telling him what to do is ridiculous. It's like saying "I am like putty in your hands, and if you make any attempt at being nice to me, I will cave" He reads this and thinks "Well, to keep her around, that's exactly what I need to do" He will do exactly the opposite of what you are pleading with him not to do. He's not stupid. (Well, stupid for letting you go I guess!) "If I flirt with you, just accept it?" ----->This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. You are NOT going to flirt with him, because you are no longer interested in him. (I realize that isn't true, but you HAVE to play like it is) If you start talking like this to him, and acting the same way, I really don't think he will even recognize you, considering how you've been acting (I don't fault you for it, I know it's because you a sweet person, but it HAS to stop!) It's your only chance. It's your only chance. He is using you. It's your only chance. He is using you. whoa, that's deep. even i felt the imact and i'm not going through this.
Author Anna86 Posted March 26, 2011 Author Posted March 26, 2011 Robin, all I can say is wow. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Your post was bull**** free and completely honest!! I am very VERY thankful you wrote this. In fact, I kind of want to print it out and keep it. This is one of the main reasons I like this site, sometimes friends don't want to make you feel bad so they don't tell you what an idiot you are. He is TOTALLY using me.......100percent using me with every inch of him. He DUMPED me which means he decided he wanted to live WITHOUT me. His choice. Then I hand myself to him on a little plate, of course he will take it. He can't believe his luck. He gets to feel less guilty, still have me for physical reasons and uses me to stroke his ego. He must feel pretty powerful to see me still hung up on him. Well no longer will I do that!!! I have to start acting like the person I was before this. I am strong, motivated and smart. I have to stop acting like a pathetic victim in all of this. I deserve soooo much better than this. I can't even believe it got this far. He really has nothing to offer me, just the security of a past love which is dead and gone now. I will always remember the love with fondness and know I am capable of being loved again just as much as he loved me. So, I am confused about one thing. Does this mean he is a bad person? Because, I know he isn't bad and he doesn't WANT to hurt people. He has just hurt me. He is not a monster. I remember all the great things he done and how he is a good friend, brother and son. So, is it possible that good people can do bad things like this. As you said, he is selfish and looking out for me. I hate contradictions and having to hate him. I want to hate what he done to me. Not hate him. I guess he done what a lot of people would do. I am not saying this to try to convince myself he is good, trust me, I don't want him near me and I never want him to touch me again. But on this site I see a lot of people refer to their exes as bitches, *******s, idiots...Is it more that their attitude is wrong? and would we do the same given the chance?
Author Anna86 Posted March 26, 2011 Author Posted March 26, 2011 Robin, all I can say is wow. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Your post was bull**** free and completely honest!! I am very VERY thankful you wrote this. In fact, I kind of want to print it out and keep it. This is one of the main reasons I like this site, sometimes friends don't want to make you feel bad so they don't tell you what an idiot you are. He is TOTALLY using me.......100percent using me with every inch of him. He DUMPED me which means he decided he wanted to live WITHOUT me. His choice. Then I hand myself to him on a little plate, of course he will take it. He can't believe his luck. He gets to feel less guilty, still have me for physical reasons and uses me to stroke his ego. He must feel pretty powerful to see me still hung up on him. Well no longer will I do that!!! I have to start acting like the person I was before this. I am strong, motivated and smart. I have to stop acting like a pathetic victim in all of this. I deserve so much better than this. I can't even believe it got this far. He really has nothing to offer me, just the security of a past love which is dead and gone now. I will always remember the love with fondness and know I am capable of being loved again just as much as he loved me. I hope this time tomorrow I will have good news. I hope that I will have fun and that he will leave me well alone. I won't let his dirty little hands touch me. He can find a new lady for that, as it won't be me!!! I am the only one in control of me, I decide who I let get close to me and I don't want it to be him!!! I feel so strong, lets hope it lasts. I think this is a turning point
betterdeal Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 Betterdeal, he is really being a douche about it. He doesn't want a relationship with me, yet wants to sleep with me, call me, share problems with me....AND flirt with other girls, amybe even more...Seems like somebody got a bit too lucky this year. Ugh, I am not allowing this any longer. I really feel that I know it has to end. When it happens, when he hurts you, say to yourself "I don't deserve this" and walk away. Sometimes the best way to annoy someone is to not get annoyed. When you reach that state, you will have disengaged, they will no longer have access to your soul. Your soul is your very essence; the most real thing in your life; the bright blue flame that burns eternal inside. You can choose to warm whichever other souls you deem fit to with it.
robinseggblue Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 So, I am confused about one thing. Does this mean he is a bad person? Because, I know he isn't bad and he doesn't WANT to hurt people. He has just hurt me. He is not a monster. I remember all the great things he done and how he is a good friend, brother and son. So, is it possible that good people can do bad things like this. I think good people do things like this all the time. And that is what makes it so hard for the dumpee to believe that they're being used. Because this nice person, that they've adored and respected for so long, is acting out of character. It's hard to believe that the person you loved and this person who is using you, is the same person. Impossible to believe in fact. Until you finally do. I have to admit that I've been selfish myself in the past, but the important point is that I've learned from it and that learning will be with me for life. BUT, I had to learn the hard way of course. And that is why your ex has to learn the hard way, because he won't learn at all otherwise. If he treats you this way, and nothing bad happens, what is he going to learn? You sound like a new person already, which is really really nice. Continue to be this self assured, and trust me, he will learn the hard way (which is the only way). Someone who is as nice and caring as you sound, will be a HUGE loss for him, when he finally realizes that he's lost you.
ReturnToSender Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 Just want to say that this thread has helped me out tremendously too... Its one thing when Im saying these things to myself, mostly trying to convince myself of what I know is the right way to handle this, and another to see others put it bluntly and honestly. So I too will say thank you so much everyone...you all rock
NoEnd_Mary Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 Hey Robin, I know what you're saying about realizing that this person you once trusted so much could hurt you. It's unbelievable but I went thru that realization pd. I realized that my ex wasn't the person he projected himself to be. His real character came out after the breakup. Like what kind of man would jump to seeing a slut rt after his breakup w/his gf of 5 yrs? I finally realized by seeing his actions that he IS NOT the person I thought he was. Once I realized this, along with NC, it was easier to let go. You're not going to be able to see clearly if you still have contact w/him. You have to go 100% NC. He is NOT the same person you think he is. He prob changed a long time ago and weaned himself off you during your rel. This is why it comes as a shock to u that he could be this hateful. Someone that truly cares about you would be considerate of your feelings. And that he is not doing. Everything is about him, him, him. Right now he is viewing you as a doormat. As my ex was viewing. As soon as my friend pointed this out to me, I ended it right away so he couldn't be powerful anymore. I cut him short and he can't hurt me anymore. We have to be careful who we allow in our lives. No one should be able to easily step in and out of our lives if they don't do anything to deserve it. It is a privelege for anyone to gain access to our hearts and soul. Don't give him that reward if he hasn't earned it.
Author Anna86 Posted March 28, 2011 Author Posted March 28, 2011 hey guys, thanks for all your new comments...Robin, I can see your point! I guess good people can do bad things...Right now I am doing something very bad....I'm glad this thread is helping others. So, on Saturday I told him that we couldn't do this anymore.. I told him that I loved him and couldn't do this with him as it was hurtful. He pretty much agreed with it and said its really wrong and that he is finding it hard also. I told him he was using me and he denied again.....We agreed to meet up the next day to discuss it sober and not at a party. The next day, Sunday, we met up. Well, this did not go as expected. Instead we all had many drinks, we were with different mutual friends. We met many new people and just had a fun night. We were in a big group of people and I was talking to many new guys. I even got two phone numbers! So I guess I felt good...but not in character as I am really the kind of girl who likes chilling out watching scary movies on a Sunday....Not in a bar talking to men. I am confused by my behavior. I am acting completely out of the ordinary. I feel I don't know myself any longer. Fast forward to when my friends went home and my ex and I decided now would be a good time to talk. So, we did. He told me I have a split personality and he is finding my hot and cold behavior strange. One minute I want to talk, the next I glare hatefully at him. He says he wants to continue our time together but doesn't want me to get hurt.. How is it that the night before I told him no way and that I was strong, to the next day and I feel okay. He told me that that there were no other girls and how he won't be with any other girl if we continue this. This is what convinced as I am happy with this if he doesn't meet other girls. He said I have to trust him. So, I let him in to my heart and he came back to mine. He just left as we both have work. I don't know if I love him. I'm not sure if I get a buzz out of it and it's an ego thing. I'm not sure why I am doing this. I can't explain this crazy behavior. All I know is that it is crazy and not in character for either of us. I'm starting to think I physically need to leave this city. I told him this yesterday and he says its a crazy idea and I should stay. I am thinking that I really need therapy as I am not myself anymore. Has anybody tried therapy? If so, has it worked? I think I have issues that need to be addressed.
ReturnToSender Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 A couple things pop out at me.. my ex also swears up an down that there is no one else, and its not about being with anyone else. Unfortunately for him, a quick check on fb shows new pics of him with not only the girl he left me for, but other girls too.... I also said exactly the same thing about moving, as it felt like the only way Id be able to move on from him...and he said the same thing your ex said to you. So many things are so alike with us...hes always asking for my trust/understanding/patience...but after so long absolutely nothing has changed. Its hard cause I without a doubt absolutely love this guy, I still see all the great things in him that I fell for to begin with, and he continues to be a really wonderful guy...except for it that he doesnt want a relationship and is still seeing other people (even though he swears hes not). And that right there really is the clincher...I cant keep holding out for someone who doesnt want what I do out of a relationship. Ive also thought about therapy...though I have to say I have learned and faced a few things about myself because of this experience. Theres a reason why Im holding onto something so unhealthy...the average woman would have jumped ship and probably moved on into another relationship a long time ago already...I kinda know whats holding me into this the way it has and well...yeah I really am considering therapy too.
Author Anna86 Posted March 28, 2011 Author Posted March 28, 2011 @Return to sender: Wow, it really is a similar situation...I feel bad that you went through the same thing!! In a way, I think that is only human to act like this sometimes..Human beings are complex creatures and it is hard to control some of our basic instincts. I think that our exes just want to have their cake and eat it. You have to hand it to them, they are doing that quite well! I get the impression that if my ex meets someone that he finds more appealing than me he will dump me like a hot potato. I think at this moment, neither of our exes has found anybody much better so that is why they are still in the picture. Still keeping their options open..... So do u still meet up with your ex often? When was the last time? Are u sleeping together still?
Rose T Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 I think at this moment, neither of our exes has found anybody much better so that is why they are still in the picture. Still keeping their options open..... Hey Anna! hope you're feeling ok today after your confusing weekend. You know, I'm not going to give you a hard time about any of this, and I do think that the most amazing thing in life is that we have free will to do pretty much what we please. In the situation with you and your ex, the phrase "two consenting adults" springs to mind. The only thing I will share with you is something I've learned from experience: every night you spend with your ex, every day you prolong your relationship, is a day wasted in terms of meeting someone who could love you better and make you happier. I think you'll walk away eventually, but when you reach that point is really up to you. Hope that you get a number from someone you really like one of these weekends.
ReturnToSender Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 @Return to sender: Wow, it really is a similar situation...I feel bad that you went through the same thing!! In a way, I think that is only human to act like this sometimes..Human beings are complex creatures and it is hard to control some of our basic instincts. I think that our exes just want to have their cake and eat it. You have to hand it to them, they are doing that quite well! I get the impression that if my ex meets someone that he finds more appealing than me he will dump me like a hot potato. I think at this moment, neither of our exes has found anybody much better so that is why they are still in the picture. Still keeping their options open..... So do u still meet up with your ex often? When was the last time? Are u sleeping together still? Yeah its a blah situation. Ive sworn him off, started dating and there are guys Im interested in and yet... Last week we met for lunch and talked for nearly 3 hours about us.... I started writing out some of what we talked about but it was too long Suffice it to say, he said a lot of things, I said a lot of things...and we both have some twisted issues that we're openly aware of. Hes not keeping his options open, mostly he likes being with girls he has zero obligation to..as long as they dont try to include him in their problems or make him act like a caring boyfriend, hes fine...the moment they do he loses interest. He figures if he had that kind of time, hed still be with me. His sister told me hes always complaining and annoyed with the girls hes with, and that without doubt the only ones he actually does care about are kiddo and me, that its not just a line hes feeding me...that when he says theres no one else, he really believes that cause in his mind, the others are just there for fun...but that even though hes her brother, she thinks he needs to grow up and we deserve a lot more than that... Anyway...no sex. Which is hard because I think hes the best. Ever. And he really is so handsome...argh. But no. I cant handle fwb with him...emotionally impossible. So we just spend time together and talk.
betterdeal Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 How confusing! You appear to say one thing then do another. It must be quite confusing to be in such a state. Maybe the drinking contributes to that?
geegirl Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 (edited) I don't think you are ready to quit this guy. You put yourself in situations that are bound to make you regress. You believe every word he says. It's just words. What do you see from his actions? They're non-existent. He just wants you as a FWB. If that is enough for you, then great go ahead. You keep going for that last hit and another and another and all you do is walk away all confused. You are in a situation under his terms. You tell him you can't do it, he gets nervous about losing his f*** buddy and gives you some mumbo jumbo about not being with other women (and don't believe this for one second because if an opportunity presents itself, don't even think he will say no) and you let him have his way with you all over again. He tells you what you want to hear to keep you hooked. And you fall for it every time. He loses respect for you everytime you keep falling at his feet. Don't believe that just because he pursues you, he sees you as otherwise. If you want to be treated this way, then keep repeating this behavior. It's the definition of insanity. Clearly you are not emotionally ready to leave this man no matter how bad the terms of engagement are. You have to be really ready to cut the contact, when you decide it's time to put YOU first. As with some people, they have to hit rock bottom before they finally swim up. In this case, maybe you haven't had quite enough of ill treatment from this man. I don't mean to be harsh but I've gone through what you have and I'm trying to make you see that all that's coming ahead of you is more pain. Why delay the inevitable? Edited March 28, 2011 by geegirl
geegirl Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 The title of your post is, "Ex won't dissappear from my life"...why don't you dissappear from his life? Don't put it on him. This is all you. I believe you need to take accountability for your actions as well. If YOU truly want him to dissappear from your life, it is all up to you.
Author Anna86 Posted March 29, 2011 Author Posted March 29, 2011 thanks for all of your responses.... Geegirl, you are right, I am not ready to quit yet. I know what I mean to him, I am FWB nothing more and nothing less...I am aware of it! But I have such strong feelings for him... I know, it is my fault why this is happening. I am the one that should say no and stay away...But, when I see him I feel like the connection is still there and I find him hard to resist. I know that of course there will be some connection, but I guess I am looking into more than he is. I am so confused, I do feel like I have a split personality regarding him. One moment I love him, the next he makes my skin crawl. What is that all about? Why am I not consistent in my feelings? To cut to the chase, if I met him now, he would not really interest me. Since we broke up he has lost around a stone in weight, (he was already too skinny), has changed his hair (it looks ridiculous), has started smoking, changed his style, is burned out from all his projects, he looks exhausted and his personal hygiene levels have dropped......I mean, he changed every single physical thing about himself. I noticed that his finger nails are filthy (really gross) and that he doesn't smell so sweet and he doesn't seem to care about showers or clean clothes. Its really such a turn off. But why can't I be shallow and let these things really bother me? If I never met him before I would not be physically or mentally attracted to him. At all!! Its like he is a child let loose in a mans body and can't take care of himself. I mean, why am I letting a person like that in my life? I know I can do much better than him. So why am I not able to let myself free. Why am I clinging onto such a bad/ negative thing? Is it possible that I am clinging onto the past and unable to accept the present situation. I am usually okay with change, I have had to put up with change all the time growing up. I had a pretty tough childhood and never knew my father so maybe this is why I am clinging onto someone who made me feel really good about myself and he was the first man I ever let into my heart and soul. Then he left....
depplover_1980 Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 Anna, no one has responded regarding you seeking therapy so I will confirm that YES it will do you the world of good to sit, talk freely and simplify things. Look for humanistic/person centred approach, where you will be providing your own answers, but the therapist will ask you the RIGHT QUESTIONS to get to where you need to be in your head. I just want to add without offending you that I think you're being a bit of a drama queen and you need to explore if it's a form of attention seeking too. You need to simply avoid this man, which if you make the effort and plan won't be that hard. I also advised you some time ago to watch your alcohol intake IF you did see him, but you keep drinking! Do you have issues with drink?
Author Anna86 Posted March 30, 2011 Author Posted March 30, 2011 Hi Depplover, I think I am going to get some counseling. It's always a good idea as sometimes people develop unhealthy thought processes which stops them from coping after a traumatic event. I think my way of thinking is dangerous, I am not thinking clearly and with logic. I KNOW all the right things to do, but actually sticking to them is hard. I tend to live in the moment and act on impulses regarding him. The reason why I have had a few drinks around him is that usually it is Saturday night when I see him. I usually plan on just hanging out away from him, with my friends, but our paths have crossed too many times. Also, unfortunately, this would happen sober. I have spent some time with him sober and trust me, its not really any different. My aim of the weekend is to avoid him at all costs. Last weekend, he mentioned he would like to see me at the weekend but I can't do this to myself. I will meet up with my girlfriends and go shopping or work on my project. I have started a new photography project which has helped me a lot actually. I would suggest anybody in a similar position to take up a hobby where you have to be social and do something you are interested in. You are right saying he is a 'dramaqueen', he always needs to be center of attention and craves it. I think he just wanted to start a new life, he wanted to try something different. Our relationship was safe, strong and loving. He wants to live on the edge again and test new things (new girls). Sometimes he gets lonely, and this is why I am useful. I provide him with emotional and physical needs. He can continue with his lifestyle and get his fix from me once in awhile. I can't allow myself to do that. He told me that he has nothing to offer anyone and that all he has are his hobbies (music) and that is why he thinks people like him. I have told him during and after our relationship there is more to him than that, as there is, but he doesn't believe me. He hides behind a man that he wants to be. He acts so different around different people and always wants to be the 'cool' guy.. I know I have to let him go and do this alone. I have enough problems of my own than to be concerned about someone that doesn't want me or can help me with my life.
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