funkgab Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 Hi.. Long time lurker.. first time poster So basically theres been this girl.. I mean I knew her in highschool.. but we never really talked.. Thing is she always had a thing for me.. (Or she claims to) but I didn't know I liked her because I was so comfy with her until my best friend.. slept with her.. yeah.. she has the (EASY GIRL SYNDROME) aka attention whore.. it seemed that she every time they see each other theres passion.. (sexually) For me.. the passion seems gone because ive gotten so hurt.. whats happened is after they slept together.. i got jealous and all this and that.. but its because i thought i was losing her, then i realized how much i love her for who she is.. when i see her i don't always want to pounce her, and i've never found her that attractive.. although she is GORGEOUS! but its weird because the passion is gone, it feels like im clinging on to her for who she is, but that im boring her, (she still has her circle of guys or whatever) which is why i could not go out with her, not to mention my "ex best friend whom i hate" still is on her nuts/or she still won't just let him loose.. she has a problem where it seems she says "1 night fling" but she keeps her 1 night flings around, finds em interested and etc.. im starting to get tired of getting hurt.. i still miss her, and love her dearly, but i think the passion is starting to go because im pretty boring (kind of lost all my friends, don't really party or do anything..) (and she seems shallow) i know she doesn't seem like a very good girl.. but man is she special.. its just i sometimes feel like im holding her back, and im like man how did i even have a chance with her?.. well we don't really talk talk about big things because either i get butthurt or she gets butthurt (im the one who always has to lose it seems because she has the huge ego princess syndrome) i mean i let it go because i really still love her alot.. the problem is.. i never found her really attractive until i almost lost her, i still get the hots for others, unlike her.. but when i look at her closely im like man shes beautiful.. its not good.. because i know she used to find me attractive but i think its going away.. and its not like she ever gets turned on by me like my "ex best friend" i know passion is a big part of a relationship, and i know chemistry is too.. when good chemistry happens, its amazing, we get along great, time passes so fast and all.. but the next day its not like we can do the same thing over and over.. am i just being clingy, because i have nobody else, and i keep getting a feeling i won't ever find anyone as special as her.. but the whole wanting to sex her all the time.. its not there.. i mean shes gorgeous like i say again.. she gets hit on all the time.. but i find her companionship better than for her looks.. i know it should be looks as the initial attraction but i found her personality better (at first before i kept getting hurt and hurt) so im kind of asking.. what am i to do.. im tired of falling in and out of love.. and i don't know if she even cares.. i know she likes me as a friend or just someone shes comfy with.. but the bad silent moments are there alot now, etc. thanks
MissBennett Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 Hey Funk, First of all (and please dont take offence at this coz I'm not trying to be snotty) but I'm honestly confused. I want to clarify that I got this right before I put in my 2 cents (and start bossing you around ha ha, jks) -she was your best friend for ages. -you weren't romantically involved, or even thought about her in that light. - your best friend sleeps with her - you realise you hate it for some irrational reason and it dawns on you that you're jealous. ('jealous? how can I be jealous, we're just friends, I dont even like her "like that" I cant possibly..... can i?') -you dont want to have to share her with other people. why should you? she's your best friend and you appreciate her for much more than those other clowns that just want to get in her pants.... right? *stop me if I'm off track* so..... you dont know if you want to be with her or not? you didnt explicitly say that you wanted to be with her.... and yet you seem to resent the people that spend their time with her as more than just "friends" first, I think your perception of chemistry is a little limited. Chemistry is what draws two people to one another, helps them understand each other, makes them laugh at the same things, and make them feel natural with the other person.... soul connected and like they've known each other for years. not just looks. okay so you dont feel the primal urge to jump her bones every time you see her. I'm not a guy so I dont know how 'highly unusual' this is, if at all... is it possible you're just so comfortable together? you know after being in a relationship for a while a couple loses the urge to be soooooo all over the other person in public.... they become happier just cuddling on the couch rather than making out.... that kind of thing... and what exactly are you asking? do you want to take the relationship further? do you want to be with her?
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