ImAMac Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 Hi! I'm in need of some serious advice. I'm a shy person. I'm definitely not someone who'd strike up a conversation with a stranger just to talk; I hate small talk. I have very few friends, and I'm kind of alright with that, but sometimes it's hard. So my social ineptitude, sprinkled with a fear of rejection and mixed with a dash of low self-confidence creates a deadly solution when it comes to relationships. So there's this girl in one of my classes (I'm a sophomore in college) and we met last semester, so we've known each other for about 7 months now. I've always liked her as a friend but recently, in the past month or two, the feelings have gotten stronger. She is one of the few girls that I've met who gives me butterflies. She makes me smile every time I see her. She has a great sense of humor and she's so easy to talk to. She is beautiful. But I digress. My main problem is this: I really want to tell her how I feel because I very seldom feel this strongly about a girl, but I'm afraid of what her answer might be. I don't want her to be freaked out and have it ruin our friendship. But then again, I don't want to not tell her and wonder what might have been. I mean it's not like I'm going up to some random girl with whom I never speak and telling her that I like her. We talk, we laugh, but I worry she justs thinks of me as a friend. This is where my fear of rejection works in to the problem. I don't know. All I'm looking for is a few opinions about what I should do. Any and all input is greatly appreciated. Thanks!
utterer of lies Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 You do NOT tell her how you feel. What you do is very simple: Ask her out on a date.
Author ImAMac Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 Thanks for the response! I wish I could just do that, but I feel like we have a nice friendship and I'm nervous that if I just spring it on her out of the blue that it'll damage our friendship irreparably. I have confidence problems and while I have no problem carrying on genuine conversations with her but the moment I start to think about asking her out I freeze up and end up chickening out. Does anyone have any tips to overcome this obstacle? Please and thanks.
stook Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 (edited) Dude... I used to have that same problem. Liking a girl but afraid to ask her out in fear of rejection and making a friendship awkward.... I finally over came it. I just told myself that i was gonna be blunt and ask her out and if she said no tuff **** for me life goes on and didn't see why we still couldnt be friends if I were to get rejected. So one day I finally grew a pair and asked. I'm a very out going person I can talk to anyone including girls but when it cOmes to a girl that I like that's a whole different story I get extremely nervous and super why. Anyways one night I simply texted her and said "hey can I ask you something" she said sure. I said "what would you think about me taking you on a date?" that was the most nerve racking text I've ever sent lol. My heart was pounding and I closed my eyes and slowly squeezed the send button. Then she replied with a "yes I would love that I thought you would never ask" then later realized that it wasn't so bad or so hard after all. If she in fact said no ( I asked her this) would she has still been friends with me and she said yes. So just ask dude. I am now with the amazing beautiful girl of my dreams now that I thought I didn't think I stood a chance with. Just ask you never know what can come of it. Girls are generally understanding and will still want to be friends with you even if they do say no. Just text it close your eyes and hit the send button Edited March 25, 2011 by stook
Hannah86 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Sweetie...you're in college! My recommended plan of action that will result in little rejection: 1. Friend her on facebook if you have not already (have you?) 2. Keep an ear out for a good party to take her to. It needs to be one where YOUR guy friends are throwing it; your friend's house, your friend's dorm, etc. DO NOT invite her to one where you'll be at a risk of not knowing anyone there. 3. Invite her via personal message on facebook to the party and simultaneously ask her for her number. "My friends are throwing a party on Friday, would you and your friends want to come? Throw me your number so I can let you know the details" As a recent college girl, here are the possible scenarios and what they mean: - if she is in to you she will drop most plans to spend time with you -worst case: if she is disinterested, she will 'already have plans,' -If she is out of town, doesn't give you her number, this means nothing; continue your pursuit -If she is out of town, DOES give you her number, then that's a good sign! Continue your pursuit!
Romeofud Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 OP, please review my post "Beautiful Bank Girl comes around?" for tips on how to pursue a girl, get the digits, and take it from there. Your falling all over yourself is nonsense. Women know that men are after her sex. That's our reward. She also understands that somewhere between that time, only real feelings can possibly emerge. This particularly goes for their feelings toward you, so don't digress, and be upfront with her. You dont have to copy what I'd done with the bank chick, but keep in mind that honest flirting and just be direct with what you want will work wonders if the girl has even the slightest inkling of giving you a shot. By your blunt actions, forces her to do the same, because she realizes that you're a "strong, alpha male" and won't stand for nothing less. This alone will increase attraction. Good luck.
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