WorldIsYours Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 all my single friends think I'm crazy for messing up my marriage. Gee, wonder why.
Author weedsandposies Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 What brought me to this forum was a feeling of guilt. H is trying so hard to work on this R and I felt I was checked out. But I have to give it everything or set him free. OM just text me when will be seeing eachother. I told him I'm going away for the week. He's being his uusual a**hole self and said if I really wanted to see him I'd make time. He's right. I haven't contacted him back. And I genuinely don't want to see him. I'm beginning to realize that OM is much more work and drama than H. Why did I do this? Maybe it wasn't worth it.
WorldIsYours Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 What brought me to this forum was a feeling of guilt. H is trying so hard to work on this R and I felt I was checked out. But I have to give it everything or set him free. OM just text me when will be seeing eachother. I told him I'm going away for the week. He's being his uusual a**hole self and said if I really wanted to see him I'd make time. He's right. I haven't contacted him back. And I genuinely don't want to see him. I'm beginning to realize that OM is much more work and drama than H. Why did I do this? Maybe it wasn't worth it. Leave your husband. Let him be. 1
Author weedsandposies Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 Memphis- i was just reading one of your posts on another thread. Your a man who's wife cheated on you, correct? I don't know the details but I'm sorry that happened to you. My circumstances are different in that H and I were getting divorced at the time I started all this. A is just draggin on longer than it should. I'm having a hard time letting go becuase I feel my marriage might go with it.
WorldIsYours Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Memphis- i was just reading one of your posts on another thread. Your a man who's wife cheated on you, correct? I don't know the details but I'm sorry that happened to you. No need to imply he's being bitter. My circumstances are different in that H and I were getting divorced at the time I started all this. Your situation is not unique or different, whether you were divorcing or not. You're still cheating. A is just draggin on longer than it should. I'm having a hard time letting go becuase I feel my marriage might go with it. Your marriage is already down the drain. You're refusing to see how destructive your actions are. You better hope your husband doesn't do anything drastic when he finds out about this. You're playing with your life, ma'am.
Woggle Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I read posts like this and think 'troll'. But she's responded twice, which is not troll like. Sadly, it's probably true, but even if it isn't the mindset displayed by this woman is becoming common. True story; I once had lunch with a former co-worker who was cheating, and planned on leaving her husband. She knew my history and wanted to know what is 'possible reaction' could be. In addition, she asked for advice on how to protect herself financially and what kind of custody would get her the most money (for the least amount of time spent with the kids). This poster makes her look like a saint. I read somewhere that more and more people are living 'television' lives; high drama with increasingly outrageous scenarios. This unfortunately has become a part of our culture; a desensitized attitude that thinks nothing of putting another person through the meat grinder if it suits their purposes. Sometimes, it's just to break the boredom! Society is facing a high price. So OP, think long and think hard about what you've done, and are doing. You worry about your husband's reaction and I don't blame you. But what you should really fear is what you've become. People come and go, but you have to live with yourself. You are destroying lives. I would have told her to get the hell out of my face. No way in hell I am going to help a cheating woman destroy a man. I really don't want to paint all women with the same brush but stuff like what is in this thread is what makes many men think women are evil. 1
bentnotbroken Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 What brought me to this forum was a feeling of guilt. H is trying so hard to work on this R and I felt I was checked out. But I have to give it everything or set him free. OM just text me when will be seeing eachother. I told him I'm going away for the week. He's being his uusual a**hole self and said if I really wanted to see him I'd make time. He's right. I haven't contacted him back. And I genuinely don't want to see him. I'm beginning to realize that OM is much more work and drama than H. Why did I do this? Maybe it wasn't worth it. You feel as much guilt as you do responsibility for you actions...none. Maybe it wasn't worth it:eek: Just wow! 1
yessy21 Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I am not going to sit here and criticise u. The only thing i am going to mention is the reason its better is because he smells another males testostorones... its a threat. that and ur not that focused on ur marriage. 1
SoulStorm Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 You're cake-eating. I bet the OM doesn't know you are reconciling with your BH. If he does..that shows exactly what kind of man he is. If he doesn't..it shows exactly what kind of woman you are. 1
Bryanp Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 It seems to me that you are beginning to see the light. You expected to be separated and divorced when you jumped into the affair but then your husband has changed and is working hard to regain your love. I believe from your writings that it is surely working. I think that down deep you realized that this was indeed a mistake. If you were as heartless as many people believe here you would not have gotten on this site and you would not have written back time and again. It sounds like you are trying to do the right thing. Most people would give anything to have a happy and healthy marriage. I think you realize that it would be a mistake now to lose your husband. I think you now realize it is up to you if you wish to have a new life with your husband based on honesty and respect or lies and deceit. The bottom line is if God forbid you ever had a serious accident; who would you want to take care of you: The OM or your husband? I think you know the answer so do the right thing. I wish you luck.
shakenandstirred Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I'm having a hard time letting go becuase I feel my marriage might go with it. If you don't let go you're marriage will definitely go with it. What kind of thinking is that? "I can have sex with another man and my marriage is great as long as my husband doesn't find out"???? That's not rational and very absurd thinking. 1
Author weedsandposies Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 It's true. OM didn't know I was reconciling with H until the pregnancy issue. I had to confess it may not be his. But I didn't think it was any of his business.
WorldIsYours Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 But I didn't think it was any of his business. Yet you're willing to lay down with him from time to time at your husband's expense. 1
Author weedsandposies Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 It seems to me that you are beginning to see the light. You expected to be separated and divorced when you jumped into the affair but then your husband has changed and is working hard to regain your love. I believe from your writings that it is surely working. I think that down deep you realized that this was indeed a mistake. If you were as heartless as many people believe here you would not have gotten on this site and you would not have written back time and again. It sounds like you are trying to do the right thing. Most people would give anything to have a happy and healthy marriage. I think you realize that it would be a mistake now to lose your husband. I think you now realize it is up to you if you wish to have a new life with your husband based on honesty and respect or lies and deceit. The bottom line is if God forbid you ever had a serious accident; who would you want to take care of you: The OM or your husband? I think you know the answer so do the right thing. I wish you luck. Thank you, Bryan, that means alot. Honestly, if people on here weren't so harsh I might have not taken such drastic action to end it with OM. I know that even if my marriage doesn't work out (but I hope it does) OM is not the man for me. He sent me messages again that I would try to see him before he leaves if I really wanted to. He's beginning to get agitated. So I'm staying away from him. Men hate rejection and being ignored. I don't want to end up on the evening news.
Author weedsandposies Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 If you don't let go you're marriage will definitely go with it. What kind of thinking is that? "I can have sex with another man and my marriage is great as long as my husband doesn't find out"???? That's not rational and very absurd thinking. I meant my marriage might end as well.
Memphis Raines Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 What brought me to this forum was a feeling of guilt. how does wanting to find another affair partner to get over your current one factor in to that guilt? I'd really like to hear the reasoning behind that one if you truly are guilty. H is trying so hard to work on this R and I felt I was checked out. But I have to give it everything or set him free. then its settled, you should set him free, because you are justifying being in this affair saying it is helping your marriage and holding the mindset that "what he doesn't know won't hurt him". So since you aren't giving it your all, and this is the way you see it, on top of seriously thinking about getting another affair partner, setting him free is the logical, and decent conclusion. OM just text me when will be seeing eachother. I told him I'm going away for the week. He's being his uusual a**hole self and said if I really wanted to see him I'd make time. He's right. well, its really moot, because you aren't going to give up your OM. But why not just say you want to make the marriage work and its over? I know that isn't whats going to happen, so set your husband free. but the OM keeps coming back for more because you are easy. He knows you are weak and can have you whenever he wants. so now about that setting the husband free thing. what can we do to help you make that happen?
Memphis Raines Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Memphis- i was just reading one of your posts on another thread. Your a man who's wife cheated on you, correct? I don't know the details but I'm sorry that happened to you. yes to the question, and I doubt it to the last sentence. My circumstances are different in that H and I were getting divorced at the time I started all this. A is just draggin on longer than it should. I'm having a hard time letting go becuase I feel my marriage might go with it. ok, but now you are not getting divorced and the marriage is suppose to be good, for you anyway. so your excuse doesn't hold water. because again, you can say its about the A lasting too long, but you already thought about getting into another one to leave this one. do you even remember the things you post?
whammy Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 (edited) Thank you, Bryan, that means alot. Honestly, if people on here weren't so harsh I might have not taken such drastic action to end it with OM. I know that even if my marriage doesn't work out (but I hope it does) OM is not the man for me. He sent me messages again that I would try to see him before he leaves if I really wanted to. He's beginning to get agitated. So I'm staying away from him. Men hate rejection and being ignored. I don't want to end up on the evening news. Yes men do hate rejection...but know what they hate more? they hate the fact that they got excited for a baby that might not be theirs. The hate kissing their wives when those lips have just been around the c*ck of another man. They hate thinking about their wife all day and coming home and making love to her not knowing that some d-bag blew his load in her during her lunch break. They hate not being respected. Cheating is one thing but your taking it to a whole new level. Not using protection...come on! If my wife cheated on me and gave me an STD I would SUE her! Thats assault, thats hurting me on purpose...and you are doing ALL of this to your husband ON PURPOSE!!!!! You say life is not black and white but your wrong...its very black and white....you either do the right thing or you dont. Cheating is forgivable...there is a reason that so many people do it, its common because that is what people do. But the things you are doing are not forgivable. How can you not think your a bad person? You are what you do...think about that. YOUR ACTIONS AND CHOICES ARE ALL THAT YOU ARE!!!!!!! and what you are doing is horrible. Your H is putting his heart into this second chance and you are being some dudes c*m dumpster. You say that the OM means nothing to you but its obvious that your H means nothing to you. Actions speak louder than words. Stop and ask yourself, seriously answer these questions...who gets more respect, H or OM? who gets more truth, H or OM? who gets more thoughts H or OM? who gets more energy, H or OM? Who gets more of your body H or OM? Im not trying to insult but I truly think you are a sociopath... You get satisfaction out making sure your H doesnt even get to be in a relationship he wants to be in or live the life he wants to live. I pray to god I never end up in your H's shoes... Not telling H about this is so bad....i cant even fathom if i was him, I almost have tears welling up in my eyes your husband doesnt even know you!!!!! Edited March 25, 2011 by whammy
Steadfast Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 I have massive doubts that this thread is valid. There are just too many inconsistencies...and this poster is baiting the respondents. Time is precious to most of us, and there are too many genuine people seeking help, advice and comfort to waste on this hoax. OP, if you are genuine, I apologize. Do yourself a favor and get professional help. 1
TMCM Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 your husband doesnt even know you!!!!! You might want to think about the statement above. There is another thread from another woman who carried the secret of her affair for 12 years. The secret corroded her intimacy with her BH to the point that her H eventually had two PA. Check it out, you might gain some valuable insight from her.
Author weedsandposies Posted March 28, 2011 Author Posted March 28, 2011 UPDATE: Over the weekend i did make it out to OMs place but never saw him or contacted him. i left. TMCM: i did read through that thread. i can relate. sometimes when i'm with H all i can think of is OM even though we dont see eachother very much. Whammy: ouch! perhaps H doesn't really know me. ive never felt comfortable opening up to him. weve been too busy fighting all these years. but this isnt an H or OM situation. at this point, many thoughts are going through my head. when OM is not in my life i feel depressed with just H. leaving H is an option im giving serious consideration. we shouldve never gotten married. maybe some people just aren't meant for marriage (myself). im going to speak to H about taking time apart.
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 UPDATE: Over the weekend i did make it out to OMs place but never saw him or contacted him. i left. TMCM: i did read through that thread. i can relate. sometimes when i'm with H all i can think of is OM even though we dont see eachother very much. Whammy: ouch! perhaps H doesn't really know me. ive never felt comfortable opening up to him. weve been too busy fighting all these years. but this isnt an H or OM situation. at this point, many thoughts are going through my head. when OM is not in my life i feel depressed with just H. leaving H is an option im giving serious consideration. we shouldve never gotten married. maybe some people just aren't meant for marriage (myself). im going to speak to H about taking time apart. You resent your Husband so much it's like a stench that leaks out in everything you type. Just leave him. You are not interested in fixing it... and you won't regret it later. Also... Your OM is a piece of crap. That makes you a turd chaser! 1
SoulStorm Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 UPDATE: Over the weekend i did make it out to OMs place but never saw him or contacted him. i left. TMCM: i did read through that thread. i can relate. sometimes when i'm with H all i can think of is OM even though we dont see eachother very much. Whammy: ouch! perhaps H doesn't really know me. ive never felt comfortable opening up to him. weve been too busy fighting all these years. but this isnt an H or OM situation. at this point, many thoughts are going through my head. when OM is not in my life i feel depressed with just H. leaving H is an option im giving serious consideration. we shouldve never gotten married. maybe some people just aren't meant for marriage (myself). im going to speak to H about taking time apart. Care to elaborate on the bolded part of the quote. You have OM text you..waiting to see you again to use you like a sex toy..yet you didn't see him or contact him? You just rode out to his place with him unaware hoping to see him by chance? If you are going to do this and not respect your marriage..you have to at least have enough respect for your husband and tell him you want a divorce..not separate so you can have fun with the OM and have your husband as a back up plan. That is more show of selfishness and disrespect. Where do you come from? Holy Cow!! I wish that I have to never meet a woman like you.
WorldIsYours Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 boy do I feel sorry for her husband. Me too.:( 1
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