weedsandposies Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 I'm here because I desperately need advice. I've been married for 8 years. Our marriage has always had problems but the past 2 years have been very rocky. This past summer we were fighting daily, terrible fights. Our marriage was almost surely over. The stress and constant fighting were unbearable. At this time, I reconnected with an old boyfriend. he was the last serious guy I dated before meeting my husband. To get straight to it, we've been having an affair ever since. Here is where things get very confusing for me. My marriage has never been better! Ever since I started seeing the OM my husband and I hardly ever fight. The OM is helping my marriage! And hubby and I are even trying to have a baby now. My dilemma is my husband would leave me in a second if he knew I was cheating. And now I really like the place we're in. But eveytime I've tried to leave OM, and I have at least 4 times, I fall into depression. I don't want to lose my husband.
WorldIsYours Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 I'm here because I desperately need advice. I've been married for 8 years. Our marriage has always had problems but the past 2 years have been very rocky. This past summer we were fighting daily, terrible fights. Our marriage was almost surely over. The stress and constant fighting were unbearable. At this time, I reconnected with an old boyfriend. he was the last serious guy I dated before meeting my husband. To get straight to it, we've been having an affair ever since. Here is where things get very confusing for me. My marriage has never been better! Ever since I started seeing the OM my husband and I hardly ever fight. The OM is helping my marriage! And hubby and I are even trying to have a baby now. My dilemma is my husband would leave me in a second if he knew I was cheating. And now I really like the place we're in. But eveytime I've tried to leave OM, and I have at least 4 times, I fall into depression. I don't want to lose my husband. Woman you are seriously selfish and need to divorce your husband. You think your OM is helping your marriage? How sick. I feel sorry that you're treating your husband and marriage like trash, and feeling good about it. You need serious help ma'am. I pray for you. This is pure evidence of sociopathic, narcissistic behavior. 2
jnj express Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 Your A---has changed your attitude toward things, and you have been forced to allay your H., suspicions by changing your attitude toward him---so therefore things are good---why can't you keep them good---- You had better stop with the excuses and stop your A----do you honestly think when reality kicks in that your lover will be an adequate replacement for your H---as far as living life----you have no reality with your lover---you pay no bills with him---there are no emergencies with him---you don't cook, clean, wash for him---you don't have to deal with his bodily wants and needs, there are no errands to run with him---you don't have to satisfy family and friends with your lover----it is all fantasy----and that fantasy better end like YESTERDAY Stop with the crappy depression excuse, and get back into your mge---I'll tell you what will give you a whole lot of depression---and that is being divorced and single---working to support yourself---making all your own payments---taking care of yourself completely, and maybe having to work a couple of jobs to do so---Is that what you want for yourself----cuz lady that's what your looking at if your H. finds out your cheating----then you will really know depression 1
bentnotbroken Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 I'm here because I desperately need advice. I've been married for 8 years. Our marriage has always had problems but the past 2 years have been very rocky. This past summer we were fighting daily, terrible fights. Our marriage was almost surely over. The stress and constant fighting were unbearable. At this time, I reconnected with an old boyfriend. he was the last serious guy I dated before meeting my husband. To get straight to it, we've been having an affair ever since. Here is where things get very confusing for me. My marriage has never been better! Ever since I started seeing the OM my husband and I hardly ever fight. The OM is helping my marriage! And hubby and I are even trying to have a baby now. My dilemma is my husband would leave me in a second if he knew I was cheating. And now I really like the place we're in. But eveytime I've tried to leave OM, and I have at least 4 times, I fall into depression. I don't want to lose my husband. You and he are the threats to your marriage, so how is he saving it? You know this because you stated that when your husband finds out he will leave you. You have an OM and a BH and neither of those equals a real marriage. 1
betterdeal Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 What is it you get from the OM that you don't get from your husband?
PorkRinds Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 What is it you get from the OM that you don't get from your husband? A baby ....... 1
Bryanp Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 How would you feel if your husband was doing to you what you have been doing to him? How would you feel if your husband was putting your health at risk for STD's behind your back with his lover? You are trying to have a baby with your husband while you are still having sex with your lover? What is wrong with this picture? You are playing your husband as a total fool. What you are doing is incredibly cruel and selfish. Would you want him to do to you what you are doing to him? 1
Calif_hope Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 Your post has been one of the few on LS that has elicited emotions in me...GOD I feel sorry for your poor husband. What is it in you to be so cruel, hateful, and selfish. If you have any respect and residual love for your husband, divorce him. You don't have to destroy him in doing so, keep the affair secret, just say, too many differences. YOUR TRYING TO HAVE A BABY.......after reading your post, and I hate posting this, I bet you have fantasies that your OM gets you pregnant; stay married to your sap of a husband to have him raise your lover's baby. Do the world and your unborn children a favor and don't bring children into this world until you become an adult women of honor and integrity. Too many kids in this world damaged by their parents (moms and dads) as it is. 1
KeyBiscayne Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 I'm here because I desperately need advice. I've been married for 8 years. Our marriage has always had problems but the past 2 years have been very rocky. This past summer we were fighting daily, terrible fights. Our marriage was almost surely over. The stress and constant fighting were unbearable. At this time, I reconnected with an old boyfriend. he was the last serious guy I dated before meeting my husband. To get straight to it, we've been having an affair ever since. Here is where things get very confusing for me. My marriage has never been better! Ever since I started seeing the OM my husband and I hardly ever fight. The OM is helping my marriage! And hubby and I are even trying to have a baby now. My dilemma is my husband would leave me in a second if he knew I was cheating. And now I really like the place we're in. But eveytime I've tried to leave OM, and I have at least 4 times, I fall into depression. I don't want to lose my husband. [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]The OM is not really helping your marriage. He is only distracting you from the issues in your relationship and allowing you to disengage and check out of the relationship. [/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Because you are no longer trying to engage your husband in an intimate/emotional way (I don’t necessarily mean sexual) you are not fighting. You are basically “stepford wifing.” [/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]A good analogy might be someone who is at the beginning stages of taking drugs. In the beggining the drug seem like a great distraction, but all the drug is doing is subverting your attention from the real problem and giving you a high to numb whatever feelings you do not want to feel, or issues you do not want to deal with. But it will eventually turn into a full blown ugly addiction that doesn’t look so “neat.”[/FONT][/sIZE] 1
What_Next Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 You are a selfish, selfish, selfish, selfish person. Just read your post for heavens sake! Me! Me! Me! Do everyone a favor and divorce your husband NOW!!!!! He deserves a faithful wife. I hope and pray he does not breed with you. I hope he tosses you out like yesterdays newspaper. This is about the most selfish post I have ever had the mis-fortune to read here on LS. Damn woman, realize there are others that walk this earth besides yourself. Holy hell. 1
Doing it Since '78 Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 That post has got to be fake! Nobody IRL could be that sick- Im sorry
bloppy Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 Tell your husband before you get pregnant! Don't bring a child into your mess. 1
reservoirdog1 Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 Here is where things get very confusing for me. My marriage has never been better! Ever since I started seeing the OM my husband and I hardly ever fight. The OM is helping my marriage! And hubby and I are even trying to have a baby now. If you do get pregnant, at least give your husband the respect of getting a paternity test immediately, of your own volition. Don't compound your already massive disrespect for him by unknowingly having him raise another man's child. Sheesh... 1
GTJ Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 I have been a lurker her for quite a while and i am amazed that a person can say " I really like the place we're in". I don't think you realize that only one person is saying that. You are assuming that your husband would be happy that "WE" are fine. 1
Memphis Raines Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 I don't want to lose my husband. but you don't want to do right by him either. why don't you let your husband go? why be so selfish? who knows, maybe with any luck he has an OW on the side 1
Author weedsandposies Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 Thank you for the replies. I came here to get an objective opinion since this is anonymous and its hard to give advice not knowing all the details, so I certainly appreciate it. To all others life isn't so black and white. I never claimed to be perfect, not even to H. Perhaps I am stepford-wifing ha! But H is very happy. Over the past 2 months I've really been trying. I couldn't quit OM cold turkey so slowly began seeing him less, it started off once a week then twice a week, then down to every other week. Haven't seen the OM for 3 weeks now, before that was a month. Now he is contacting me almost everyday to get together and I'm running out of excuses. A few weeks ago we had a terrible scare, thought I was pregnant. While my H was overjoyed, OM basically said that it was up to me but he wasn't ready to be a father. That was when all my feelings towards him changed and haven't seen him since. Sadly, I know I will maybe this weekend. No it wouldn't bother me if I found out my H had a one time thing. Matter of fact just told him if he ever did to use protection and make sure I never find out. Losing him certainly would be more depressing than losing A. Just wish it was easy to break the A off. It's energy depleting and making me unproductive with work. I've even thought of finding another guy/girl just to take my mind off the OM.
WorldIsYours Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Thank you for the replies. I came here to get an objective opinion since this is anonymous and its hard to give advice not knowing all the details, so I certainly appreciate it. To all others life isn't so black and white. I never claimed to be perfect, not even to H. Life is not black and white but you're an adult and you know what you're doing is wrong. Perhaps I am stepford-wifing ha! But H is very happy. I or anyone else sees your situation as something to "HA!" about. And your husband is happy, but he doesn't know you're playing him and loving it at the same time. Over the past 2 months I've really been trying. I couldn't quit OM cold turkey so slowly began seeing him less, it started off once a week then twice a week, then down to every other week. Haven't seen the OM for 3 weeks now, before that was a month. Now he is contacting me almost everyday to get together and I'm running out of excuses. So you you've been having sex with both of them (giving your husband sloppy seconds), hoping one of them (probably OM) will knock you up? You're not running out of excuses because you're still talking to him. Your explanation when he first hit on you should've been no thank you, I love my husband. A few weeks ago we had a terrible scare, thought I was pregnant. While my H was overjoyed, OM basically said that it was up to me but he wasn't ready to be a father. That was when all my feelings towards him changed and haven't seen him since. Sadly, I know I will maybe this weekend. Lady you need serious help. You got your own husband thinking he's happily going to give his wife a baby when he knows nothing about the REAL YOU. Got him thinking you really love him when your messing with your ex. You recently found out that your ex gave you another clue that he never wanted anything but sex from you when he said he wasn't ready to be a father, and now you're planning on seeing him again? How foolish. No it wouldn't bother me if I found out my H had a one time thing. Matter of fact just told him if he ever did to use protection and make sure I never find out. Losing him certainly would be more depressing than losing A. Of course you don't care if he gets some booty on the side because you're busy getting yours AND SOME from your own husband. But you're talking about how you don't want to lose him when you already did when you cheated with your ex. Just wish it was easy to break the A off. It's energy depleting and making me unproductive with work. I've even thought of finding another guy/girl just to take my mind off the OM. It is easy to break it off. You just don't want to because you only care about you. This is why you need to let your husband go. He doesn't need a wife who's going to be screwing around with her exes and other folks, putting his life at risk. I feel sorry for your husband. 1
bentnotbroken Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 And to think she wants to parent a child and teach it how to leave responsibly. 1
WorldIsYours Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 And to think she wants to parent a child and teach it how to leave responsibly. Lord help us all. 1
Author weedsandposies Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 Never in the years I've been married did I cheat or even thought about it. Its just when my ex came into the picture at a time I was very vulnerable that this happened. And believe me I told him there's no way anything would happen. Also I thought he was married with a child. Otherwise I would have never met up with him but would have kept it casual. We have inexplicable chemistry and always have. Someone mentioned that its like a drug, its a terrible addiction. Yes, we are just sex. we were never anything more. Never friends even or ever could be. And I would never leave my H even if I was madly in love with OM. I need to get out of this A. But how?
Bryanp Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 You said that you are even thinking of finding another man/woman just to get your mind off the OM. What an amazing statement and yet you continue to say how much you love your husband and would never want to leave him. You are totally self-destructive and will destroy your marriage. You say you and your husband are trying to have a baby but you do not even use birth control when you are having sex with your OM and he tells you he does not even want to be a father when you thought you were pregnant. Please do not say you love your husband. You judge a person by their actions and not by their words and your actions speak volumes. You are totally humiliating and disrespecting your husband and making him look like a total fool. Is this how you are going to raise a child with these values? You have a broken moral compass. You ask how to stop this affair. It is quite easy. Try being honest and tell your husband the truth and the affair will stop if you wish to save your marriage. Your marriage is based on lies and deceit and apparently you have no problem putting your husband at risk for STD's and possibly trying to fool him that he can be the only man who may get you pregnant. What is wrong with this picture? How do you live with yourself treating your spouse this way? Please seek therapy and do not have a baby with your current attitude. 1
bloppy Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 [quote= Just wish it was easy to break the A off. It's energy depleting and making me unproductive with work. I've even thought of finding another guy/girl just to take my mind off the OM. How would finding someone else to cheat on your husband with help your situation? Why not let your husband find someone that is truly happy with him? I can't understand why you keep him hanging on unless maybe he makes a lot of money.
jnj express Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 You really are as pathetic as it gets---stop with the horsesh*t---that you wanna quit, but you are gonna spread your legs for your scumbag lover this weekend---- You say you wanna do something for your H.---such as let him have a free fu*k---give him a REAL GIFT---give him a D.---give him his freedom from a miserable pathetic person like you---- You come here and whine, and talk about wanting to stop this A--- and your method is gonna be by spreading your legs for yet a 2nd lover---while your innocent H--is home supporting his alleged loving wife Get your D----then you can screw a different guy every night-----Give your H his freedom---no one should be saddled with you, but the scumbag's you associate with who KNOWINGLY screw another man's wife
SoulStorm Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I haven't posted for a long time, but responding to this would probably get me banned. Holy Cow lady!! Are you really this horrible of a person? Your poor husband. You don't even respect him. You know you are nothing but fun on the side..not worth anything but some sex to the OM and you still go. Where is your own self worth? All you have to say is one word...NO It won't kill you. But you are killing your husband spiritually..do you know how destroyed he will be if and when he finds out. You don't want to leave your husband...but you will leave him mentally to go be with the OM..then you say you will try to find someone else to replace him..seriously, are you that horrible of a person?
DitkasMoustache Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 It's been a few months since my last visit to LS and lo I find this. I gotta ask, lady... how do folks like you look at yourselves in the mirror and not immediately vomit? More importantly, do you practice stupidity professionally or do you just do it for free?
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