I'm a college senior and still a virgin

[ebbandflow]

I have super tough challenges with relationships, so any advice would be great.

 

I'm a 22 year old guy and I'm a senior in college. I'm still a virgin and I've never even kissed a girl. I've been trying for about 6 years to get a gf, but to no avail.

 

I have so many failures it's not even funny. For example, last year there was this girl that I met through a class. We hung out together, ate meals together, did homework in the student center, played video games, chilled at the cafe-- you get the idea. It was a lot of fun. I felt like we had such an awesome connection and I was almost positive she liked me. So one day I asked her if she wanted to be my gf and she sorta freaked. She got super nervous and said she didn't think it would work out because she didn't "see me that way". I tried talking to her about it, but she was really anxious and left in a hurry. I tried calling her and texting her a few times. No response. After that we fell out and didn't really talk again.

 

For a less intense example, there was a girl in my class last semester. We sat next to each other every day, and chatted about class and other things for the first month of class. So I asked her if she wanted to go to the cafe sometime. She said she was really swamped so she couldn't. Then I asked her again the next week and she seemed all nervous and she said no.. Then the next class when she came in she didn't sit next to me even though she had every day since the beginning of the semester. The next class the same thing happened. I felt bad and didn't push anymore.

 

I've got a million stories since high school, but I won't bore you anymore. Also to clarify I'm not asking out supermodels. They're just girls I like.

 

My whole life doesn't revolve around this. I have a few good guy friends that I hang out with. They keep me sane

I'm super involved with clubs. I do fencing, salsa dancing, juggling, running and a few others. I also love music and play some video games for fun.

 

My life is ok, but I feel lonely a lot. I'd love having a gf for the good company and affection.

 

And there's the sexual side. I'm a 22 year old guy. Need I say more. I have so much desire. Yeah I can always rub one out, but I always feel depressed afterwards. I have literally no guilt or anything like that. I've talked to people about it and they think I'm subconsciously thinking "I wish it was with a woman". And honestly, that makes a lot of sense. I'd love to share the experience with someone.

 

I'm not sure. Maybe I'm not great with conversation. I'm often at a loss for words irl. I try to improve my convo by talking to tons of people in classes, clubs or just seeing them on campus. But a lot of people appear bored and uninterested in what I say. I just don't know.

 

People always say it's so simple to get a gf in hs and college because you're surrounded by so many like-minded people. And yet it's not at all easy for me.

 

Other people tell me that I just haven't met the right person yet. But they've been saying that for the last 6 YEARS. I'm hittin the real world soon where people say it's 10x more difficult.

 

To be honest, it's really bringing me down. I keep feeling more lonely and depressed. It feels like insanity for me to continue with this. But I'm definitely willing to do what it takes. So any help or advice would be super appreciated. And thank you for reading

Edited March 24, 2011 by ebbandflow
spaces got lost

[PiOver2]

i'd say just keep hacking away at it, eventually the tree will fall down and your time to be the man will come. the odds are in your favor bc there's so many women out there in the world just keep trying. youre not always going to get the one you want most but hell a little something is better than nothing. once u get a little you'll build some more confidence and so forth.

 

from reading your post i feel like your putting out to much of a "friend" vibe. dont be afraid to make sexual innuendos or tease her (but give a big smile when you do) but make sure you have something to follow it up with. if you think youre bad with carrying on convos then on a piece of paper write down easy questions that you will remember to fill those "gaps".

 

if you're worried about kissing a girl or getting laid then go out to the bar have a couple drinks to loosen up and talk to as many girls as you can. but you do wanna make sure you stay out of the "friends territory" your focus should be on getting that kiss or w/e it is you want. once your gut tells you "i dont think shes interested then move on" (but dont be deceived by any lack of self confidence) once you walk away and start talking to another girl, in her mind, she might be like "what the hell!" casually make glances over towards her to see if shes looking at you and if u do make eye contact dont be the first to look away take initiative and give a wink.

 

things will come in time but things are not always handed to you. i'm no Casanova but i have had my fair share of the game and most of the time things happen when i least expect it. when im having a good time with my friends and my personality is flowing. but that doesnt mean dont work on your solo game bc thats when it can be easiest to get her attention and have a more intimate conversation.

 

all in all just keep talking to girls with no expectations, if you feel that shes flirting make some **** up like youre a palm reader so you hand hold her hand and give it a rub like your actually reading her palm. be creative and confident.

[Kelemort]

Is it possible you're trying too hard or misreading cues? Girls may genuinely see you as just a friend. The ladders have to climb at a gradual level. If you find yourself stuck at coffee hang-outs or study sessions, it's likely you may be permanently branded into the friend zone.

 

I think it's a school to consistently escalate a relationship without scaring someone off. The next time you meet someone, spend a few weeks casually talking. From there, maybe say, "I'm studying for x today, or hey, you said you're interested in x, I'm in a club involving that. Think you might be interested in joining or coming along?" If it's a 'yes,' go with it. From there, start hanging out in groups. And try to focus your time on gradually being one-on-one with her.

 

I think you will eventually find luck. I was a virgin until I was nearly 22. Granted, I'm female - it's probably easier for me to find guys than the other way around.

[fortyninethousand322]

My goodness, it's like you stole my entire life story. Are you sure you're not me?

[Fondue]

Goal: Get laid and ditch the V-card.

 

Data: You have an ability to dance (according to your write up, you take classes).

 

Plan: Go to a bar with a some dood friends and chick friends (whom are reasonably attractive and/or not repulsive), start dancing and being a good time. Smile on face. Looking at the girls. One WILL eventually start dancing with you. Women love dancing. Dance with as many women as you can, and be fun. Just as if you're the happiest dude ever and you want to show it. Have sex with the woman who gives you the cue. There WILL be one, at least. Men who can dance well are irresistible, honestly. So many guys just dance for their game and get laid often.

 

Outcome Criteria: Whether or not you got laid.

 

Come back and let us know how you did.

[somedude81]

My goodness, it's like you stole my entire life story. Are you sure you're not me?

And mine.

 

I'm 29, and not a virgin. But every time I had sex, money had exchanged hands.

 

In a way, I still am a virgin as I've never gone though the whole meet, attract, close process.

[Eddie Edirol]

Your problem is you dont flirt with girls.

 

You hung out with this girl but never made any moves on her. Keep in mind some of these girls will hang out with you when they think you WONT make a move on them, then when you do they run away and you have no idea why. Some of them just need attention when they guy they really like isnt paying any attention to them. Thats why you get caught in that trap. if you dont make a move, they can use you for all the time you will give. Now that you read that, I know you wont let that happen again. When you meet a girl, you have to make moves on her immediatly.This will filter out the ones that arent attracted to you that way. You cant be so nice to them and not take any chances, that bores them. None of the people you ask will tell you the real way to get the girl you want, because they dont know how.

 

You meet a girl, and immediatly start flirting. tease her, if she slips up with a word, make a joke about it. Dont poke fun at her appearance!

Talk to her for a while and get a number. Dont text her, call her and plan a date somewhere other than school. Make her laugh. Always watch her cues to see if she likes you, that would be hair twirling, eye contact , smiling and touching. Remember to touch her lightly, its a turn on. On the arm or shoulder. near the end of the date, you escalate the touching just a little, and eventually go for the kiss. Dont wait until she is leaving your car, or your at her door.

 

If she recoils from the kiss, you drop her off and leave her alone. Assume she isnt interested, dont call her. Dont push the issue, that way you show you dont care if you kiss her or not. In fact, you really dont, this is just a date. if she calls you wondering what happened, you tell her she recoiled so she has to explain, because by then you would have written her off. you will find out then if she is shy, or not interested.

 

The idea is you dont get attached to these women until you are official. And by the way, you NEVER ask a woman to be your gf unless you have been making out for at least a month. Usually a woman who is really into you will bring it to the next level.

 

You understand?

[ChessPieceFace]

I'm a 35yo virgin so you have 13 whole years to even be where I am. Feel better yet?

 

Don't let trolls on this forum tell you there's something wrong with being a virgin. It's worse to have sex for the sake of having it. Only idiots/animals keep score in life by how many holes they stuck their penis in. I pity them and would rather live and die a virgin 100x over than be any of them for a single lifetime. What really matters in life is what kind of person you are inside and how you treat others.

 

That said, it would be nice to have companionship. Your problems sound similar to mine at that age. What did I do about them? Not much. Kept awkwardly trying to be with the handful of girls I liked and got rejected. Went along with the things that interested me, sometimes read about "what to do with women", got disgusted and ignored it for another year. The harsh truth is that the world is not a nice place and dating is not a nice thing for those who aren't wired for it. If you are as disgusted as I am with human nature / female nature, then you have serious difficulties indeed.

 

If you do believe in cheap sex (I don't) then feel free to become shallow and follow whatever guides allow you to bang women. I can't and wouldn't help you with that.

 

If you want something more meaningful, I obviously don't have firsthand advice of success, but I do know some things. Work on yourself and your own appearance and overall success in life for its own sake. Don't just obsess over the few girls you happen to REALLY like. You can try with them, it probably won't work out, and just move on. It's a terrible existence to just pine away for a few girls that will never want you or love you. I did that for too long then gave up on love entirely.

 

If you try a lot and keep getting rejected then you'll unfortunately have to change one or more behaviors to conform to the standards of women. Hopefully you can figure out how to do that in a way that doesn't clash with your personal standards of ethics. I haven't yet.

[ebbandflow]

i'd say just keep hacking away at it, eventually the tree will fall down and your time to be the man will come. the odds are in your favor bc there's so many women out there in the world just keep trying. youre not always going to get the one you want most but hell a little something is better than nothing. once u get a little you'll build some more confidence and so forth.

 

from reading your post i feel like your putting out to much of a "friend" vibe. dont be afraid to make sexual innuendos or tease her (but give a big smile when you do) but make sure you have something to follow it up with. if you think youre bad with carrying on convos then on a piece of paper write down easy questions that you will remember to fill those "gaps".

 

if you're worried about kissing a girl or getting laid then go out to the bar have a couple drinks to loosen up and talk to as many girls as you can. but you do wanna make sure you stay out of the "friends territory" your focus should be on getting that kiss or w/e it is you want. once your gut tells you "i dont think shes interested then move on" (but dont be deceived by any lack of self confidence) once you walk away and start talking to another girl, in her mind, she might be like "what the hell!" casually make glances over towards her to see if shes looking at you and if u do make eye contact dont be the first to look away take initiative and give a wink.

 

things will come in time but things are not always handed to you. i'm no Casanova but i have had my fair share of the game and most of the time things happen when i least expect it. when im having a good time with my friends and my personality is flowing. but that doesnt mean dont work on your solo game bc thats when it can be easiest to get her attention and have a more intimate conversation.

 

all in all just keep talking to girls with no expectations, if you feel that shes flirting make some **** up like youre a palm reader so you hand hold her hand and give it a rub like your actually reading her palm. be creative and confident.

 

I've done the teasing and sexual inuendos in the past. Maybe it was the timing or how I said it, but it consistently wasn't getting positive results. I got the vibe that they thought it was too uncouth or forward. Maybe it clashes with my personality somewhat. I feel more natural just keeping it chill, and that's how I've made it farthest (not far) with women.

 

I'm not much of a bar guy. I went a bunch of times back when I was a freshman. I just prefer a more laid-back atmosphere.

 

Thanks for the response. I'll definitely keep at it.

[ebbandflow]

Is it possible you're trying too hard or misreading cues?

 

Anything is possible. One who lacks awareness is unaware of their lack of awareness.

 

If you find yourself stuck at coffee hang-outs or study sessions, it's likely you may be permanently branded into the friend zone.

 

Permanently, what do you mean by that?

 

I think it's a school to consistently escalate a relationship without scaring someone off. The next time you meet someone, spend a few weeks casually talking. From there, maybe say, "I'm studying for x today, or hey, you said you're interested in x, I'm in a club involving that. Think you might be interested in joining or coming along?" If it's a 'yes,' go with it. From there, start hanging out in groups. And try to focus your time on gradually being one-on-one with her.

 

Yeah definitely, I love meeting new people and trying to get things organized with hangouts. It just hasn't led to any relationships or anything :/

 

I think you will eventually find luck. I was a virgin until I was nearly 22. Granted, I'm female - it's probably easier for me to find guys than the other way around.

 

heh so it seems

[ebbandflow]

My goodness, it's like you stole my entire life story. Are you sure you're not me?

 

too common?

[ebbandflow]

Goal: Get laid and ditch the V-card.

 

Data: You have an ability to dance (according to your write up, you take classes).

 

Plan: Go to a bar with a some dood friends and chick friends (whom are reasonably attractive and/or not repulsive), start dancing and being a good time. Smile on face. Looking at the girls. One WILL eventually start dancing with you. Women love dancing. Dance with as many women as you can, and be fun. Just as if you're the happiest dude ever and you want to show it. Have sex with the woman who gives you the cue. There WILL be one, at least. Men who can dance well are irresistible, honestly. So many guys just dance for their game and get laid often.

 

Outcome Criteria: Whether or not you got laid.

 

Come back and let us know how you did.

 

Thanks for the game plan!

 

I've been going to a salsa club about every other week for the past year. I'm getting decent but I don't claim to be great It's all good though, I dance and have a good time. Unfortunately, the chances with women are slim at the club because its always a total sausage fest and most of the women that do go are there with their bf's. Not a ton of options for clubs where I live.

[ebbandflow]

Your problem is you dont flirt with girls.

 

You hung out with this girl but never made any moves on her. Keep in mind some of these girls will hang out with you when they think you WONT make a move on them, then when you do they run away and you have no idea why. Some of them just need attention when they guy they really like isnt paying any attention to them. Thats why you get caught in that trap. if you dont make a move, they can use you for all the time you will give. Now that you read that, I know you wont let that happen again. When you meet a girl, you have to make moves on her immediatly.This will filter out the ones that arent attracted to you that way. You cant be so nice to them and not take any chances, that bores them. None of the people you ask will tell you the real way to get the girl you want, because they dont know how.

 

You meet a girl, and immediatly start flirting. tease her, if she slips up with a word, make a joke about it. Dont poke fun at her appearance!

Talk to her for a while and get a number. Dont text her, call her and plan a date somewhere other than school. Make her laugh. Always watch her cues to see if she likes you, that would be hair twirling, eye contact , smiling and touching. Remember to touch her lightly, its a turn on. On the arm or shoulder. near the end of the date, you escalate the touching just a little, and eventually go for the kiss. Dont wait until she is leaving your car, or your at her door.

 

If she recoils from the kiss, you drop her off and leave her alone. Assume she isnt interested, dont call her. Dont push the issue, that way you show you dont care if you kiss her or not. In fact, you really dont, this is just a date. if she calls you wondering what happened, you tell her she recoiled so she has to explain, because by then you would have written her off. you will find out then if she is shy, or not interested.

 

The idea is you dont get attached to these women until you are official. And by the way, you NEVER ask a woman to be your gf unless you have been making out for at least a month. Usually a woman who is really into you will bring it to the next level.

 

You understand?

 

Thanks a ton for the response, very insightful

 

As I wrote in the above post, women haven't responded well to teasing. What do you think about that?

 

I've went for the kiss with four different girls. Each of them I was so sure that they liked me. Lots of eye contact and other signs. In each instance when I went for the kiss, they recoiled. I have a feeling the timing was just off.

 

There are other times that in hindsight I realized that I missed good chances to make a move. It's just that the good opportunities don't come up super often and I don't always realize everything in real-time.

[Mr.Cairo]

Goal: Get laid and ditch the V-card.

 

Data: You have an ability to dance (according to your write up, you take classes).

 

Plan: Go to a bar with a some dood friends and chick friends (whom are reasonably attractive and/or not repulsive), start dancing and being a good time. Smile on face. Looking at the girls. One WILL eventually start dancing with you. Women love dancing. Dance with as many women as you can, and be fun. Just as if you're the happiest dude ever and you want to show it. Have sex with the woman who gives you the cue. There WILL be one, at least. Men who can dance well are irresistible, honestly. So many guys just dance for their game and get laid often.

 

Outcome Criteria: Whether or not you got laid.

 

Come back and let us know how you did.

 

And catch HPV/Hepes often too. Women from bars and nightclubs are attractive, but they aren't dating material. You don't know what sleazy PUA she's been with.

 

OP, you must have friends with girlfriends. Just spend time with them. If you are a good guy, their girlfriends will ask you why you don't have a girlfriend. Say that you haven't found the time to meet people. They'll introduce you to their single girlfriend as there's always a single girlfriend among the partners of your friends.

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I'm 29, and still a virgin. Believe me, I know how horrible it is.

[fortyninethousand322]

Your problem is you dont flirt with girls.

 

You hung out with this girl but never made any moves on her. Keep in mind some of these girls will hang out with you when they think you WONT make a move on them, then when you do they run away and you have no idea why. Some of them just need attention when they guy they really like isnt paying any attention to them. Thats why you get caught in that trap. if you dont make a move, they can use you for all the time you will give. Now that you read that, I know you wont let that happen again. When you meet a girl, you have to make moves on her immediatly.This will filter out the ones that arent attracted to you that way. You cant be so nice to them and not take any chances, that bores them. None of the people you ask will tell you the real way to get the girl you want, because they dont know how.

 

You meet a girl, and immediatly start flirting. tease her, if she slips up with a word, make a joke about it. Dont poke fun at her appearance!

Talk to her for a while and get a number. Dont text her, call her and plan a date somewhere other than school. Make her laugh. Always watch her cues to see if she likes you, that would be hair twirling, eye contact , smiling and touching. Remember to touch her lightly, its a turn on. On the arm or shoulder. near the end of the date, you escalate the touching just a little, and eventually go for the kiss. Dont wait until she is leaving your car, or your at her door.

 

If she recoils from the kiss, you drop her off and leave her alone. Assume she isnt interested, dont call her. Dont push the issue, that way you show you dont care if you kiss her or not. In fact, you really dont, this is just a date. if she calls you wondering what happened, you tell her she recoiled so she has to explain, because by then you would have written her off. you will find out then if she is shy, or not interested.

 

The idea is you dont get attached to these women until you are official. And by the way, you NEVER ask a woman to be your gf unless you have been making out for at least a month. Usually a woman who is really into you will bring it to the next level.

 

You understand?

 

I don't know about the OP, but part of my issue is that when I am on dates I don't make any contact (kissing, touching etc.) because I psyche myself out of it. I think too much about it I guess. Barry Sanders said that sometimes on the field he had to turn his brain off and just go on instinct. Perhaps I should do something similar.

[Kelemort]

Virgins? For the taking? Hooboy is it gonna be a good night.

 

I think it's important just to be consistent. Generally, you'll know if you're in the friend zone. Does she talk about other guys a lot? Is she dashing you with all of her problems - including romantic problems? When you hang out, is it often all about her - does she show little interest in you personally? Do your hang-outs stop at impersonal settings like your university library to study? Good signs you're captured in the friend zone. Usually, this is how relationships start out, but you have to try your hardest to get out of that as soon as possible unless you want to be trapped for life.

 

Monitor your own behavior also. I can understand it's stressful to be so late into college and to have never dated. I can understand that's causing insecurities. But you CAN'T let that show. Pretend you've had tons of girlfriends. Knock these girls off of their pedestals - pick out a flaw. I don't say this to imply that no girl is good enough, but to remind you that you're human and to prevent what I've seen many lifelong singletons do: worship her because you're desperate. Treat her like another person.

 

I think it's best to start off as impersonally as possible: talking about homework online. From there, advance to progressively more involved forms of communication. Ask her to get coffee with you sometime. Ask her out to dinner. Coming off with a strong, "Would you like to be my girlfriend?" when you've only hung out in impersonal settings can be a fright to some folks. Generally, those two I listed above are known as "possible dates." They are specific enough to imply an interest in her, but nonspecific enough that you have plausible deniability. If she says "No," just smile and thank her. If she says "yes," enjoy your time but remember that it doesn't mean "Cool, she wants coffee alone with me. We're going out."

 

At some point, if you find yourselves hanging out exclusively, I'd say, "Well, we spend a lot of time together and I'm interested in you. Would you want to make this official?"

 

I've done this in past relationships. It got to a point that we were so close that it was 'dumb' to say we were anything but boyfriend and girlfriend.

 

Keep trucking on...

[Eddie Edirol]

Thanks a ton for the response, very insightful

 

As I wrote in the above post, women haven't responded well to teasing. What do you think about that?

 

I've went for the kiss with four different girls. Each of them I was so sure that they liked me. Lots of eye contact and other signs. In each instance when I went for the kiss, they recoiled. I have a feeling the timing was just off.

 

There are other times that in hindsight I realized that I missed good chances to make a move. It's just that the good opportunities don't come up super often and I don't always realize everything in real-time.

 

Not6 all of them are going to like you, so the responses arent going to be consistent. You have to play the numbers until you know for sure that they arent into you. You also have to know what league youre in. If youre going after the prettiest girl in school, and she goes after the football guys, youre not gonna get that one. Remember everyone tries for people that are out of their league, including the women you try for. If yourea short skinny guy, they might not go for you.

 

What kind of teasing do you do?

 

When exctly did you go for the kiss with these four girls, was it on the first date, or did you hang around them in school alot first?

[Saphira]

im 20 and a virgin. so your not alone there. lol

 

On the girlfriend thang. IDK maybe you misread things? or maybe you are to upfront. Like with the first girl. maybe you should have asked her on a date before throwing the whole. "be my gf" question in there. good luck xD

[kiss_andmakeup]

I know it gets old to hear, but try to just focus on school and yourself, have fun, keep up with your studies, and it will happen for you eventually. Actually my boyfriend was a late bloomer (I think he was about your age when it finally happened) and as far as his recent history goes I know he's been rather successful with women.

 

I dare to say that men have an easier time dating as they enter their late 20's/early 30's, which is where it starts to plateau for women. In college you are outnumbered by big, dumb, attractive frat boys but as you get older your intelligence, maturity, and experience will be able to shine. Just put pedal to the metal and become the best you can be.

[ebbandflow]

OP, you must have friends with girlfriends. Just spend time with them. If you are a good guy, their girlfriends will ask you why you don't have a girlfriend. Say that you haven't found the time to meet people. They'll introduce you to their single girlfriend as there's always a single girlfriend among the partners of your friends.

 

Heh yeah I get the 'why don't you have a girlfriend' a lot. I don't have too much trouble meeting women since they are everywhere. My difficulty seems to be in getting to the next level.

[ebbandflow]

Virgins? For the taking? Hooboy is it gonna be a good night.

 

I think it's important just to be consistent. Generally, you'll know if you're in the friend zone. Does she talk about other guys a lot? Is she dashing you with all of her problems - including romantic problems? When you hang out, is it often all about her - does she show little interest in you personally? Do your hang-outs stop at impersonal settings like your university library to study? Good signs you're captured in the friend zone. Usually, this is how relationships start out, but you have to try your hardest to get out of that as soon as possible unless you want to be trapped for life.

 

Monitor your own behavior also. I can understand it's stressful to be so late into college and to have never dated. I can understand that's causing insecurities. But you CAN'T let that show. Pretend you've had tons of girlfriends. Knock these girls off of their pedestals - pick out a flaw. I don't say this to imply that no girl is good enough, but to remind you that you're human and to prevent what I've seen many lifelong singletons do: worship her because you're desperate. Treat her like another person.

 

I think it's best to start off as impersonally as possible: talking about homework online. From there, advance to progressively more involved forms of communication. Ask her to get coffee with you sometime. Ask her out to dinner. Coming off with a strong, "Would you like to be my girlfriend?" when you've only hung out in impersonal settings can be a fright to some folks. Generally, those two I listed above are known as "possible dates." They are specific enough to imply an interest in her, but nonspecific enough that you have plausible deniability. If she says "No," just smile and thank her. If she says "yes," enjoy your time but remember that it doesn't mean "Cool, she wants coffee alone with me. We're going out."

 

At some point, if you find yourselves hanging out exclusively, I'd say, "Well, we spend a lot of time together and I'm interested in you. Would you want to make this official?"

 

I've done this in past relationships. It got to a point that we were so close that it was 'dumb' to say we were anything but boyfriend and girlfriend.

 

Keep trucking on...

 

Thanks for your response. Based on what you say, I think I may be in the friend zone.

 

I definitly agree with what you say. I just talk to women like people. I try to keep it relaxed and chilled out. Just see if we hit it off. If we do, great, I'll talk to them or invite them to hang out sometime. If not, no big deal, there are plenty of people out there.

[ebbandflow]

Not6 all of them are going to like you, so the responses arent going to be consistent. You have to play the numbers until you know for sure that they arent into you. You also have to know what league youre in. If youre going after the prettiest girl in school, and she goes after the football guys, youre not gonna get that one. Remember everyone tries for people that are out of their league, including the women you try for. If yourea short skinny guy, they might not go for you.

 

I'm skinny to athletic build. 5'11" and 165 lbs. Pretty typical, I'd say. Leagues.. does never kissing a woman by 22 years old land me at the bottom?

 

I honestly don't think I'm going out of my league. Like I said in the OP, I'm not going for hot shots. I usually look for someone where I think our personalities and interests will mesh well.

 

What kind of teasing do you do?

 

I would just try to pick out something odd that she said or did. For example, if she said something obtuse, I'd make a sarcastic comment inconspicuously pointing it out.

 

When exctly did you go for the kiss with these four girls, was it on the first date, or did you hang around them in school alot first?

 

The most spectacular one, we had known each other well for a few months. We hung out all the time. I was so sure she liked me. Really easy to get along with, lots of eye contact, lots of smiling. We were hanging out in my room one night, just the two of us. There was a lot of eye contact so I got closer to her for a kiss, and she spun around and kept her back turned to me. I was floored that she rejected me because I was almost positive that she liked me. She left shortly after, and that was basically the end of that.

 

Another one I had known for a couple weeks through a class. It was the first date. I invited her over to watch a movie. She started leaning into me during the movie so I put my arm around her. Things felt natural and good. After the movie, I went for a kiss and she backed away.

 

Another one I had known for about a month through a class. First date. We went to dinner, and then went for a walk in the park. Things seemed like they were going well and we got on well. So I went for a kiss and she stopped me.

 

The other one was in high school. A girl who I had known for a while. I was drunk at a party and tried to kiss her. One of my more sloppy moments..

 

Those were only the times where I actually committed. They were times when 1) I was so sure she like me (or at least used to), and/or 2) I amped myself up to just go for it.

 

Honestly there were better opportunities, where I just totally missed out because I hesitated or didn't realize something at the time. Not very clutch, but what can I say.

[ebbandflow]

im 20 and a virgin. so your not alone there. lol

 

On the girlfriend thang. IDK maybe you misread things? or maybe you are to upfront. Like with the first girl. maybe you should have asked her on a date before throwing the whole. "be my gf" question in there. good luck xD

 

Maybe I didn't describe it well in the OP. We had hung out a lot before I asked her. You are free to label these dates if you like.

[ebbandflow]

I know it gets old to hear, but try to just focus on school and yourself, have fun, keep up with your studies, and it will happen for you eventually. Actually my boyfriend was a late bloomer (I think he was about your age when it finally happened) and as far as his recent history goes I know he's been rather successful with women.

 

I dare to say that men have an easier time dating as they enter their late 20's/early 30's, which is where it starts to plateau for women. In college you are outnumbered by big, dumb, attractive frat boys but as you get older your intelligence, maturity, and experience will be able to shine. Just put pedal to the metal and become the best you can be.

 

What you say is very interesting and hopefully that is true