HeartOnSleeve Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Darn it...I tell all my friends not to be such "girls" with guys and the minute I like a guy a lot...I do it! Need some advice please. Been seeing a great guy for a month. He does not have a the typical job so we are all over the place and things are ussually last minute which is fine with me. I'm busy and independant so it's been working out. For the first time I initiated meeting for dinner and he coudn't. So this is where I "chick" out on him: I asked if he was still interested in hanging out...in general. Basically asking do you like me (insert foot in mouth..NOW). He asked where the question came from and I replied "just want to make sure we are on the same page"..he said things were going to start getting crazy again and that if he wasn't around I shouldn't get upset. I explained that I understood...I know where his priorities have to be at this moment. blah blah blah....He said he hoped things weren't weird between us. I said no they weren't and asked him. His response: "No things are cool. You're the one acting weird". SO HOW DO YOU AWNSER THAT? haha. Oy Vey!
musemaj11 Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 (edited) You already turned on his 'psycho' alarm. Honestly there is no way to fix it. He may not find it a dealbreaker, but it will always be in his mind that you might be one of those girls. Why do you women have to be like that anyway? My friends and I often talk about it and we all find it very repulsive. Hell, even women dont like guys who do that either. Edited March 23, 2011 by musemaj11
Author HeartOnSleeve Posted March 23, 2011 Author Posted March 23, 2011 Thanks for the blunt words...I know it's ridiculous that we do this. I'm honeslty not "psycho" girl. I think it's just the way men and women react to diffrent scenerios. Women need to be reassured and men don't think like that. If they like you ...they like you and it's to be assumed. With women we want men to say it or show it. Like I said this guys job situation is very diffrent and I'm supportive of it...but some reassuance never hurt anyone. The advice I was looking for from a mans perspective then would be: What can I say to lesson the "psycho" girl blow that he just recieved. I can't respond..."I'm not being wierd"...lol. I guess it might be best ignored and things just go back to the way they weref?! Thanks!
Imajerk17 Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Thanks for the blunt words...I know it's ridiculous that we do this. I'm honeslty not "psycho" girl. I think it's just the way men and women react to diffrent scenerios. Women need to be reassured and men don't think like that. If they like you ...they like you and it's to be assumed. With women we want men to say it or show it. Like I said this guys job situation is very diffrent and I'm supportive of it...but some reassuance never hurt anyone. The advice I was looking for from a mans perspective then would be: What can I say to lesson the "psycho" girl blow that he just recieved. I can't respond..."I'm not being wierd"...lol. I guess it might be best ignored and things just go back to the way they weref?! Thanks! You're probably fine. Everyone's a little neurotic at the start of a relationship they're excited about. No one is perfect and so neither are you. And neither is he.
Eddie Edirol Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 The way to lessen the psycho blow, is by backing off and not talking about it again. to try to talk about it will make it worse. You girled up by getting suspicious of him with only one instance. You know youre supposed to wait until he blows you off a few times before looking for reassurance. Just leave it alone. He thinks you NEED him now, if you show him you dont need him, you'll be ok. rubber band effect.
Author HeartOnSleeve Posted March 23, 2011 Author Posted March 23, 2011 Thanks guys...yeah I figured better to not respond to that one...lol.
musemaj11 Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Thanks for the blunt words...I know it's ridiculous that we do this. I'm honeslty not "psycho" girl. I think it's just the way men and women react to diffrent scenerios. Women need to be reassured and men don't think like that. If they like you ...they like you and it's to be assumed. With women we want men to say it or show it. Its not a women/men thing. Both women and men are equally prone to 'dramatic' emotional reactions. Its just that due to social conditioning, men have much much higher sense of self-monitoring and we learned from a young age that just because we feel it, doesnt mean we can/should say it. I think this is something that women can learn from men.
dispatch3d Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 Thanks for the blunt words...I know it's ridiculous that we do this. I'm honeslty not "psycho" girl. I think it's just the way men and women react to diffrent scenerios. Women need to be reassured and men don't think like that. If they like you ...they like you and it's to be assumed. With women we want men to say it or show it. Like I said this guys job situation is very diffrent and I'm supportive of it...but some reassuance never hurt anyone. The advice I was looking for from a mans perspective then would be: What can I say to lesson the "psycho" girl blow that he just recieved. I can't respond..."I'm not being wierd"...lol. I guess it might be best ignored and things just go back to the way they weref?! Thanks! Assertiveness - it's a big deal ;-). That's what I chalk it up to. You started it missy.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 I don't think it's weird that you chicked out on him. In fact there's a study that I read that said most men prefer more feminine women. The only thing wrong here is that you came across somewhat insecure by mentioning you guys were on the same page. Fine, there's nothing wrong with figuring out where he is in terms of interest. However, it would be better next time around to be assertive yet, still nonchalant that your time is precious as well that you're going not going to be by the phone all the time waiting.
Author HeartOnSleeve Posted March 24, 2011 Author Posted March 24, 2011 Oh yeah....I am on the assertive train from now on. I hated sounded insecure becuase I am not. haha. Thanks guys for the advice. I went with the better to not say anything than get anymore "chicky" on the poor guy and I think the crisis was averted and we were back to normal by the evening!!
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