SN2 Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Hi im new to this forum but need advice. I have been dating a girl for three years and it has been great until recently. We have been doing a long distance relationship this past year due to school but we will be in the same town in august. This year has been hard and we have had our fair share of arguments, but I think the tension is due to us being apart. So anyway, This guy starting contacting my gf. He was from her hometown and he has some of the same friends as her. I didnt really think much of it because she has been nothing but wonderful to me so i never had a reason to worry. I just recently found out that she has been flirting with him and talking to him on the phone for like 3 weeks. I also just found out that one night when she was with her friends he was there hanging out too. They were drunk and later in the night all of her friends were over at their friends house and he kissed her. The thing is she was drunk but if she really cared why would she have allowed it to happen? they made out by the way, so it was more than just a peck on the lips. Thats all that they did and she says she is sorry. It hurts that it happened but i also found a lot of text messages on her phone between them and i could tell it was very very flirty. she says that she never liked him she just talked to him bc she was lonely and he kept calling and she just liked the attention. she said she was flirty bc she knew he liked her. she tells me that she realizes her mistake and that she took it too far and didnt realize this until they kissed. basically she never wanted more than just a friend is what she says. she has since blocked his calls and deleted his number and all that but i still am not sure what to think. she has apologized, told me she is ashamed, and she tells me she loves me, but how do i forgive and move on? im really hurt by this. i love her but i don't want to be hurt again. I just don't understand why she would kiss a guy and flirt if she really loves me and wants to be with me. I realize that we both have had a hard time this year but I don't know why this happened. Any advice would be great. especially from any girls out there.
Author SN2 Posted March 23, 2011 Author Posted March 23, 2011 p.s. im 25 years old so i realize the situation could be worse (like sleeping together) but im still hurt. anyone have anything?
lonelyandfrustrated Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Dating is a job interview for marriage. She flunked. I vote you find someone who has morals similar to your own. There are plenty of them out there.
PorkRinds Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Bang her all you want, but for gosh sake don't marry her.
oldguy Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 being drunk is not a license for irresponsible behavior. Thats like driving off the road & telling the cop, "it wasn't my fault, I've been drinking". Of course your hurt, you where betrayed. If you don't want to be hurt again by someone, stop having relationships with anybody, (that was sarcasm). Your 25, date other people, preferably people who live in your relative geographic location. Long distance relationships are rough on healthy, committed relationships, this doesn't sound like one of them.
seibert253 Posted March 24, 2011 Posted March 24, 2011 If there are no consequences for one's actions, then chances are they will repeat them. If she doesn't feel the repercussions for what she's done, (she has cheated by the way), then you'll be travelling down this road again. I promise you this. I think you should break up with her, and make it very clear why. Then later on, if you care to give her another shot, see where it goes. But, chances are you'll find someone who will not treat you the way she did.
Sebstian Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 I'd dump her, at least temporarily. If she gets a 2nd chance, she must at least know how close she were to never getting any. Girls are funny. Dump them within 3 weeks of meeting them and then take them back - and they'll never screw around. Be nice and grateful from the beginning and you're guarenteed they'll validate themselves somewhere else eventually Seems the intuition goes 'if he's so keen on me he can't be that good a deal'.
ComputerJock Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 How do you know they haven't been together again, and how do you know they didn't have sex?
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