threebyfate Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 I agree. They even went so far as to dominate women by volunteering to try and prevent that nuclear plant from wrecking even more their territory. That said, I think that we're finally evolving out of the patriarchy. In Japan, the majority of the men of the new generation are giving up on women and becoming more feminine. I think that when this finally spreads to Africa, South America, North America and Europe the rates of stds/unwanted pregnancies and abortions will fall, immensely, and life will be better for everyone.You're welcome to be sarcastic but the reality is, that most porn subjugates and dehumanizes women. And I'm not even an anti-porn advocate. Just find it silly and have no sympathy for women who are willing to do this kind of garbage for a fast buck. Their stupidity.
Stung Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Does it. One man in the video mentioned having a girlfriend who cried "all the time". He ended up breaking up with her. Suppose you were with a woman who cried when she was happy, sad, frustrated, when at a long red light....etc. etc. Would the sum of all those sexual turnoffs and emotionally draining consoling not take an effect on your relationship? Of course they would. I would be turned off if the person I was with cried all the time, whether they were male or female, as I value some strength of character and emotional fortitude in a mate or simply in a friend. Growing up, I personally never felt like it was encouraged for me to cry anywhere, at any time, for whatever reason. I sometimes cry at sad movies; people have mocked me for it. I sometimes cry due to extreme frustration; it obscures the perfectly valid point I am trying to make, and makes people think I am less rational than I am. I have seen women cry at work, and be thought less of for it, ridiculed by their male coworkers especially who make jokes about periods and female irrationality. I have personally always found crying in full view of others to be very embarrassing and it makes me feel unpleasantly vulnerable; I learned young to control my emotional response as much as possible to avoid it. However, I believe it's healthy for everyone to cry sometimes. My husband and I are going through a stressful time, not with each other but due to an outside dynamic that's also very hard on one of our children, which is hard to watch. My husband cried about it yesterday, and I hugged him and scratched his back. I certainly didn't feel less for him because of it, I thought it was a good stress release for him and I was glad he let me be there for him at that time. Some of the things I love about him are the depth of his feeling for his children, and his emotional openness with me. I think him being able to let go for a moment and just feel what he's feeling, and let me be there, means he is emotionally stronger and healthier than somebody who would bottle that up at all costs and hide from his wife. Once again, though: if he were crying every day, over trivial things, yes, that would be a turn off. And if I started crying every day, over trivial things, I would be very surprised at myself and would expect it to be a turn off for him, too. Just like me, he values fortitude and resilience in a partner. If either of us got to that point, we would need to seek therapy because there would obviously be serious underlying issues beyond simply one of us being female and culturally allowed to cry. Most of our gender norms are insane and have no basis in anything... I mostly agree with this.
Mr.Cairo Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 (edited) You're welcome to be sarcastic but the reality is, that most porn subjugates and dehumanizes women. And I'm not even an anti-porn advocate. Just find it silly and have no sympathy for women who are willing to do this kind of garbage for a fast buck. Their stupidity. Sarcastic? And where was I sarcastic? I do agree that we're living in a patriarchy and that women have as much right to go to war, be firefighters, cops and volunteer themselves for suicidal missions. I dislike the fact that our Society doesn't see women as real human beings. It coddles women and doesn't really believe that a woman is as capable of working construction(for example) as men can. That's why I never did work construction as a young buck - I didn't want to stop a woman from showing that she can do it, maybe even better than me. But don't worry. Some of us younger guys have our eyes open to the blight of women. We don't open doors, we don't pay for dates, we don't care that much about romance because we know that romance is one of the ways the patriarchy has of making women feel weak, and we don't wait for sex - when a woman is sexually interested in me, she makes it happen. Many of my generation doesn't care about children because we know that children are a sort of impairment for a woman's social and work related goals. Your post about porn does make me wonder about one thing. The men in porn aren't exactly fat bob from next door. They're tall, they are very built, and they are very gifted. Decades ago the average male porn star could be mistaken for the guy we see taking a coffee every day. He was average in every aspect. But now, every guy in porn could be easily confused for a greek god. I deal a lot with guys my age, younger, and some are older than me. They have their complains about women(as women have theirs about men). I've never seen them complain about how Mr. Porn Star has 18 six-pack or how porn seems to make people think that every man can last for more than 1 hour - especially at the pace these porn stars are having sex. Plenty of women enjoy rough sex. Plenty of women can be turned on just by the scent of a man. And I've had friends having sex with women in the most sordid of places. Does that mean that these girlfriends/hook ups were being used? Couldn't it be that they simply enjoyed the raw sex? This post is getting lengthy, I'll keep it short. Porn does not take away the humanity of the woman. Porn shows attractive, young women. It offers quick sexual relief. It's been proven that the more porn a Country consumes the less sexual abuse occurs. I don't see how something that prevents the men who are incapable of attracting women from lashing out on women to be something vile. There are also men who have too much to lose by sexually interacting with the opposite sex. The stds statistics do show that there are many, many women and men infected with life-long stds. Who would want to deal with that? Maybe these guys have found that by engaging in watching porn, they lower the chance of catching a std to zero(there are stds that cannot be tested on a man, and condoms don't really protect that much). I remember that when I was younger I'd see 18 year old guys going after anything with a skirt. Isn't it better for a man to release that sexual tension by watching porn instead of making women their sexual target? I know that I wouldn't want to have a bunch of horny dogs smelling my skirt. I'd much rather have them empty those sexual urges on porn and then approach me as a human being, trying to build a connection. Now, the 'problem' with problem is that it makes the men who watch it feel less motivated to deal with women. That's fine. The men who have something to offer - beyond their sexuality - are going to be genuinely interested in dating. It might just happen that the percentage of such males is very low, but it doesn't really matter. Quality is far more important than quantity. Sex is not important. Plenty of people die as virgins and that didn't prevent them from living fulfilling lives. If porn prevents more and more men from bothering women, from spending money and time, and the possibility of catching stds - kudos to porn. I'm sad for the guys in loving relationships preferring masturbation to porn to having sex with their loving girlfriends. Find another guy, girls, if you lot are in this position. But do not blame porn or make it seem like porn makes women to be nothing more than sexual objects. Porn shows beautiful males and beautiful females. Nothing wrong with that. And by the way, as an avid watcher of porn since my teens, I have to tell you that what porn has done to my life can be considered positive. Instead of putting myself out there to try to get some like many of my friends, I allowed porn to consume my sexual desires. My interest in women declined by vast expansions. Which allowed me to chill out and let people around me feel comfortable. The women saw how less 'sexually charged' I was, and they approached me in that way. The other side aspect of porn lies in the knowledge that had they not approached me, it wouldn't matter to me because I was satisfying my sexual urges and my genetic wiring to be with attractive, young women. Porn is win-win for women and men. Edited March 23, 2011 by Mr.Cairo
brainygirl Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Scientific evidence that crying women are not a turn on? And I care why? Was I worried about being accosted while sobbing? Let me check. Nope, not something I was worried about. Glad that's settled.
Feelin Frisky Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 I haven't read the article yet but naturally, no one wants to see someone cry from emotional hurt. But tears as part of finally reconciling a fight have never stopped me from wanting to make love right then and there. And it always has a way of getting to that. I don't want to go through all that crap either--hell no--but tears and running eye liner and sniffly snot are HOT HOT HOT.
sally4sara Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Check this out from the Associated Press. So much for the idea that it's ok for women to cry cry cry all they want and not for men. Apparently tears release a pheromone that makes men less sexually turned on. I think this is a good thing. It certainly wouldn't be better if a guy found a crying woman arousing!
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