Mrlonelyone Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Check this out from the Associated Press. So much for the idea that it's ok for women to cry cry cry all they want and not for men. Apparently tears release a pheromone that makes men less sexually turned on.
Els Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 I think most people will agree that men don't like seeing a woman cry....
EasyHeart Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Really? This is news? Men don't want to **** women while their crying? What kind of creep would want to **** someone who's crying?
oaks Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 I didn't check the link but I'm always amazed at the things scientists manage to get funding for.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 LOL, of course men get turned off by crying women....I thought this was just common sense...
TheLoneSock Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Any guy who's been a girls 'first' can attest that crying does nothing for us... Unless you're a patho...
Author Mrlonelyone Posted March 23, 2011 Author Posted March 23, 2011 Hey now... Consider how we are told in this society that's it's 100% Ok for a woman to cry at the drop of a hat with no social consequences. While a man if he cries is a wussy pu$$y and will never get laid. I'll be very interested to hear if those women who say that a man who cries is sensitive and attractive are telling the truth...since as the video says their now going to look at the effect of a mans tears on women.
EasyHeart Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 The study showed that crying women are less sexually attractive. It has nothing to do with relationships or dating. If my girlfriend is crying, I want to console her, not **** her. It doesn't mean I want to break up with her. And it doesn't mean I never want to **** her.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted March 23, 2011 Author Posted March 23, 2011 Does it. One man in the video mentioned having a girlfriend who cried "all the time". He ended up breaking up with her. Suppose you were with a woman who cried when she was happy, sad, frustrated, when at a long red light....etc. etc. Would the sum of all those sexual turnoffs and emotionally draining consoling not take an effect on your relationship?
carhill Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 If accepted, more evidence that the datapoints I add are outlier, as I've witnessed epic examples of open despair and/or joy with women I've loved in my lifetime and never have been 'turned off', rather felt close emotionally to them and found such intimacy arousing. Perhaps it's instructive that my exW essentially stopped crying once we got married. Oops.
Ella whispers Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 I was with someone that was totally turned on when I cried. It was a violent relationship and when I cried, he wanted to ****. he is the creep of all creeps. I left him, obviously.
denise_xo Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Hey now... Consider how we are told in this society that's it's 100% Ok for a woman to cry at the drop of a hat with no social consequences. While a man if he cries is a wussy pu$$y and will never get laid. I'll be very interested to hear if those women who say that a man who cries is sensitive and attractive are telling the truth...since as the video says their now going to look at the effect of a mans tears on women. I'm not American, but I find it a bit surprising that women in the US are told that they can just cry at the drop of a hat without consequences. There are lots of situations where it would be socially inappropriate to cry where I live. The times when it IS appropriate are generally: at funerals, times of 'extreme joy' (after child birth, wedding, etc), watching movies or reading books ('measured crying' in that case), or when releasing feelings when with SO or perhaps close friends. If you cry 'all the time' with your SO or close friends, people are generally going to think there's something wrong with you. I'm not sure what you want to hear from women who don't mind men who cry. I stated in a different thread on a similar topic that I want and strongly value men (and women) who are able to display the full range of emotions, including crying. It reassures me that a person is genuine and 'for real'. I'm scared of bottled up alpha males. I haven't opened the link but I don't generally get the point of measuring the connection between crying and sexual desire. Yeah, I'm not going to want to **** a man if he's crying. I'm going to want to support and comfort him. I'll **** him when he's happier.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted March 23, 2011 Author Posted March 23, 2011 You haven't opened the link? It's a really short video news report produced by the Associated Press. I think it makes the point well.
carhill Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 It appears that scientists are attempting to correlate a substance in a woman's tears with male visual observation of a woman crying to the man's psycho-sexual response. I have a few very poignant examples of outlier datapoints to this theory, but the details are IMO too sensitive to reveal here. My conclusions thus far are that the sexual response is married to empathic response, essentially a mirroring of emotions, and this elemental emotional intimacy is arousing at the basic sexual level. It's a 'connection' of sorts, generally situational and often unilateral. IOW, the woman doesn't 'feel' anything for me prior to, during, or after the activity. Such events, over a lifetime, are why I came up with the 'tampon' theory, but that is tangential to the sexual arousal dynamic being discussed here and in the AP article. Interesting stuff OP, can you share whether you felt any different as a woman than as a man, in this area of emotional expression/desire/arousal? Any insight?
elaina Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Check this out from the Associated Press. So much for the idea that it's ok for women to cry cry cry all they want and not for men. Apparently tears release a pheromone that makes men less sexually turned on. As for being sexually turned on, most women who are crying out of sadness/hurt are not turned on either at that moment so... Men respond differently to tears depending on their personalities and other traits they have, if they love the person who's crying, and how they show their love/care for this person.
elaina Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 (edited) I didn't check the link but I'm always amazed at the things scientists manage to get funding for. So true. As for women crying at the drop of a hat, I don't know about everyone else, but where I'm from and the places I've been, most women don't cry to try to get their way. Yes some do cry at romantic or sad movies, and some cry with joy (which is beautiful I think... I can't cry tears of joy) and of course many cry when their loved ones are hurt or have died or when they themselves are hurt physically or emotionally. That's just natural. As for men, it's sad that there is the expectation that men don't cry. My dad has only cried once that I've seen... when his dog died. It was really heartbreaking that Hershey died. However, it's also sad that Dad did not feel comfortable in grieving this time (and was trying to hide his tears) and has not outwardly grieved other times. Society should change this expectation placed on men that it's not "manly" to cry. Men are people too and have tear ducts too and feelings too. There is no reason why they should be afraid to cry. That should be the main issue here, not so much that women cry. I think men who don't cry much on the outside cry on the inside. Is that true? Edited March 23, 2011 by elaina
Author Mrlonelyone Posted March 23, 2011 Author Posted March 23, 2011 Eliania. If you look at the link they show that the reaction is a psycho chemical thing that has nothing to do with any conscious thought. They showed that to the reaction of the committee that peer reviewed their research. All the rest of us, including me, can do in is trust in their judgement of the validity of this... unless any of us are biochemist and have reviewed their work ourselves. Such is the way science is actually done. What you say about why it is our society expects men to not cry is very true. I am a transgender (Bigender) person. I even tried living my life full on as a woman at one point. The differences in expectations and day to day treatment are beyond the imagining of any cisgender ('normal') person. Why are men expected to not cry? Why are women not also requiered to register for the draft? Why are men expected to wear naught but drab colors, rough fibers in low thread count weaves? Why are women so underrepresented in science and engineering? Why are male nurses assumed to be gay? Why are female soldiers assumed to be lesbian? Most of our gender norms are insane and have no basis in anything but patriarchy and outdated religions of the middle eastern deserts and forest of Europe.
elaina Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Eliania. If you look at the link they show that the reaction is a psycho chemical thing that has nothing to do with any conscious thought. They showed that to the reaction of the committee that peer reviewed their research. All the rest of us, including me, can do in is trust in their judgement of the validity of this... unless any of us are biochemist and have reviewed their work ourselves. I don't mean to be offensive, but I personally think this research is a waste of time and money. There are other things that turn the majority of men off sexually as well (including obesity) but there is no need to spend money on researching this. The research that is productive is research that can actually make a difference in the lives of people, such as medical studies to find cures for diseases, and research for environmentally friendly fuel sources. Such is the way science is actually done. I would rather funds for scientific research be spent on productive studies that help people and help our earth, then just on studying what men are sexually turned off by. What you say about why it is our society expects men to not cry is very true. I am a transgender (Bigender) person. I even tried living my life full on as a woman at one point. The differences in expectations and day to day treatment are beyond the imagining of any cisgender ('normal') person. Why are men expected to not cry? Why are women not also requiered to register for the draft? Why are men expected to wear naught but drab colors, rough fibers in low thread count weaves? Why are women so underrepresented in science and engineering? Why are male nurses assumed to be gay? Why are female soldiers assumed to be lesbian? Those are very good questions and yes it's sad how people generalize and stereotype people, even regarding to gender. Most of our gender norms are insane and have no basis in anything but patriarchy and outdated religions of the middle eastern deserts and forest of Europe.As a Christian, I do believe there are differences in men and women and that men and women are equal. However, I think many gender norms come from people staying in their own little boxes and judging people who are "out of the box." It is important to be tolerant, regardless of a person's ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, or belief (or all of the above.) The reason this is important is because all people are incredible beings who deserve respect, and all people need to help each other and support each other, not cut each other down! We should all appreciate the uniqueness and qualities/talents of each individual, and treat each other well. As Jesus says, "Do unto others what you would have them do unto you." So, because most everyone wants to be treated well and appreciated and not stereotyped, we should treat well and appreciate and not stereotype others too.
threebyfate Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 I didn't watch the clip but have read about the study. It makes biological sense. "You're hurting me" should translate into a shut down of sexual response, although for some, the pain/pleasure mechanism is pretty messed up.
Star Gazer Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 Really? This is news? Men don't want to **** women while their crying? What kind of creep would want to **** someone who's crying? :lmao: I can think of someone!
welikeincrowds Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 What kind of creep would want to **** someone who's crying? The entire nation of Japan, if Japanese porn is any indication. Not that I watch it or anything. No really, I don't. It does nothing for me. Actually, just forget I said anything.
threebyfate Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 The entire nation of Japan, if Japanese porn is any indication. Not that I watch it or anything. No really, I don't. It does nothing for me. Actually, just forget I said anything.This is the dominance game in a patriarchal society. It's no different than western porn where women are displayed as something (note thing not one) to dominate.
Mr.Cairo Posted March 23, 2011 Posted March 23, 2011 (edited) This is the dominance game in a patriarchal society. It's no different than western porn where women are displayed as something (note thing not one) to dominate. I agree. They even went so far as to dominate women by volunteering to try and prevent that nuclear plant from wrecking even more their territory. That said, I think that we're finally evolving out of the patriarchy. In Japan, the majority of the men of the new generation are giving up on women and becoming more feminine. I think that when this finally spreads to Africa, South America, North America and Europe the rates of stds/unwanted pregnancies and abortions will fall, immensely, and life will be better for everyone. Not only do I shake my head whenever I see a guy approach a woman(he's interested in her for her sexual potential), but I do see quite a lot of guys putting up with problems and such if that gets them laid. With men seeing women as real human beings, the men approaching women will vastly dwindle, leaving only the few guys interested in a particular to approach. Edited March 23, 2011 by Mr.Cairo
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