Woggle Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 You and Woggle shouldn't be high-fiving each other about how screwed over you were, if either of you wants to move on. (I do believe Woggle does, and I have seen no sign that you do.) If you want to move on, spend your guy time with men who have great relationships with their wives, girlfriends, female co-workers, and all kinds of women; men who have good "pickers" and don't have to imagine controlling the entire female gender in order to protect themselves from bad ones. I do want to move on but it is really hard when it seems that everywhere I turn I am hit with subtle misandry. It is around every corner no matter where I turn. I wish I could just be ignorant and turn it off but when I see it it just pisses me off. This board is really my own outlet and it sometimes takes every ounce of strength I have to not just unload my hatred all over the place but I know there are good women her who have been nothing but supportive of me and it would be wrong of me to attack them.
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Please. You two both take over almost every thread you appear in and make them all about yourselves. UF, for one, has literally called women trashbags, made statements about all American women being bad mothers, and figuratively compared women to slugs. This particular thread was about maturing women over thirty and their dating options in regards to what some view as diminishing attractiveness, and suddenly the last few pages have devolved into calling women gold-diggers, cheaters and psychos who lie and steal money and ruin men's lives. The focus is ridiculously off. THAT is why you are called misogynistic. Brainygirl has similar tales of woe, of being used and hurt and abused and jacked around by her (ex) husband. He continues to hurt her through their KIDS, which is a hurt deeper than most childless posters can quite imagine. She comes here to vent sometimes, and she vents about THE man who hurt her, not every man in America. I was raped, and I had a hard time dealing with it, not too surprisingly. I was angry, and bitter, and hurt, and had difficulty trusting men for a long time. Yet I'm pretty sure that if I came on here ranting and generalizing all men as rapists, the guys on here would be offended--and rightly so. Because that would not only be wrong, it would be offensive, a concept some of you seem to have difficulty grasping. Man, I have grown so sick of the sh*t you guys smear all over these boards. Ever wonder why I am on here less and less? Eh... so your saying it's all my fault? You see me in what 5 threads a week and I'm ruining your LS experience? Everyone deals with these things in their own way. This keeps it out of my real life... and gives it time to fade... and it is fading. If I could do something to prevent someone from going through what you did... I would. Have you thought about getting therapy to get through some of your anger and bitterness? I am not being insulting or facetious, I am serious. Believe me or not, I can understand. I feel a lot for what both you and Woggle have been through. I am not going to tell you about some of the bad things that I have been through myself, complements of certain men. This thread is not the place for it, and it would serve no purpose, but I promise you that it was extremely bad ... Yes I have. I don't feel it is required at this time. I'm sorry for whatever you went through. You are always proposing what should and should not be acceptable behavior for women. Nobody is going to control what is acceptable for adult women, or for men, except for that person themselves. I don't think that people should go after married folks either; it's frowned upon by our society, but lots of men and women do it anyway. That's on them. Why shouldn't older women "chase" younger men? Traditionally, older men have gone for younger women. Why not the reverse? You like what you like. More power to you if you can get what you like in a partner. Look... if it's creepy for older men to do it... it should be considered creepy for older women to do it. As for controlling what people do... all we can do is provide incentives and disincentives. I'd like to see more disincentives for bad behavior. That's it.
Els Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 I think most women do date, even if the guy is less than ideal. She will probably date the non-ideal guy and trade him in for a better option when one comes along. I don't know any women who stay 100% single while waiting for Mr Perfect. To be fair, I don't think this is any better than just not dating. It must be CRUSHING for the partner, male or female, to be subject to that.
Mr.Cairo Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 I think most women do date, even if the guy is less than ideal. She will probably date the non-ideal guy and trade him in for a better option when one comes along. I don't know any women who stay 100% single while waiting for Mr Perfect. All part of human nature. I'd do the same if I was a woman. And that's why men and women shouldn't really stress themselves out, as they do, building up expectations and creating legal(or just 'known the public' ) relationships, only to have them broken up when someone better comes along. Fideiity, loyalty, and long-term relationships are terms without any true meaning, simply created to make sure that every man had a wife(patriachy at work)but, that in the long run is awful for the evolution of the species and for the happiness of women. Guys and gals, meet new people, share good times, and move on. Do not fall under the societal pretense of love and commtiment: there's no such things. When the bigger, better deal comes along, people are going to have their hearts destroyed. Without a true investment(emotional or financial), no one is going to suffer from the natural, and every lasting break down of pretty much every relationship between a man and a woman.
SummersEve Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 To be fair, I don't think this is any better than just not dating. It must be CRUSHING for the partner, male or female, to be subject to that. I think that often people are looking at dating from two totally different places. To me, no, I don't think there's anything wrong with going out with someone you know is not going to be your life partner. Just liking their company, sex, something to do is enough, in my opinion, because you never promised them anything more than that. I would not expect any more back either, just because we were dating. There is at the time no goal, it's just enjoying yourself in the present. However, to others, they think more along the lines of what I would consider "courting." They have a clear goal in mind and are dating for that purpose~ they want to find a permanent partner. They are dating as a way of weeding people out and as a series of steps closer and closer to that goal. So to them, a more social, casual dater is wasting their time. And to the dater-without-a-goal, the "courter" can be seen as manipulative and presumptious, but they're not. I don't think either way is wrong but it is a problem when it's misunderstood. Maybe people should get that straight right off, if they're just in it for companionship as long as it's good, or actively looking for a spouse.
Mr.Cairo Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 I think that often people are looking at dating from two totally different places. To me, no, I don't think there's anything wrong with going out with someone you know is not going to be your life partner. Just liking their company, sex, something to do is enough, in my opinion, because you never promised them anything more than that. I would not expect any more back either, just because we were dating. There is at the time no goal, it's just enjoying yourself in the present. However, to others, they think more along the lines of what I would consider "courting." They have a clear goal in mind and are dating for that purpose~ they want to find a permanent partner. They are dating as a way of weeding people out and as a series of steps closer and closer to that goal. So to them, a more social, casual dater is wasting their time. And to the dater-without-a-goal, the "courter" can be seen as manipulative and presumptious, but they're not. I don't think either way is wrong but it is a problem when it's misunderstood. Maybe people should get that straight right off, if they're just in it for companionship as long as it's good, or actively looking for a spouse. You got my respect. People shouldn't see interactions with the opposite sex as the all and end of their sexual research: if this person is good enough in bed, and that's all you are looking for, go after it. Don't make an apple to be a feast. Drink in all that is good from being with that person, and when there's nothing more to be had, move on to the next person.
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Fideiity, loyalty, and long-term relationships are terms without any true meaning, simply created to make sure that every man had a wife(patriachy at work)but, that in the long run is awful for the evolution of the species and for the happiness of women. I think you are totally wrong here. Fidelity, Loyalty and LTR's, are natural and a strong part of evolution. They are designed for raising children... which is best done with a male and female parent. Fidelity and Loyalty are valued because paternity is extremely important.
rubu.thomson Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 I am not agree with your post. It is not true, My mom is 51 year old and she is so genuine, Understanding person and very frank behavior. This is depend on person's atmosphere. Mothers Day Gifts UK
Mr.Cairo Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 (edited) I think you are totally wrong here. Fidelity, Loyalty and LTR's, are natural and a strong part of evolution. They are designed for raising children... which is best done with a male and female parent. Fidelity and Loyalty are valued because paternity is extremely important. Designed to raising children. It only takes some 4 years to raise a child to relative security. How long do most relationships last? 2 to 5 years? Even when there are no children? Explain to to me why cuckoldry happens and tell me why studies show that women are attracted to what is usually considered by most as Alpha males and beta males depending on what she wants, or on her ovulation? It could be said that by making sure that the baby is going to have better genes, and by taking control of the resources of the beta male, she's giving in to what is important when it comes to creating and raising the next generation, no? Also explain to me why, according to the marriage laws, any child born to a man and to a woman married to each other, the child is considered the man's child even if the child does not belong to him? And he's made to pay(child-support) for the baby? Honestly I don't think that LTR are part of evolution anymore. They certainly were,thousands of years if not centuries ago. With the equality being spread among women and men, LTR aren't necessary any longer to make and to raise babies. Men can easily rent the services of a surrogate mother and women can use the sperm banks and have a baby with whatever traits they wants the baby to have. If the budget is looked at attentively, there is no need for another person to contribute to the upbringing of the child. Plenty of single mothers, I'd dare say most single mothers turn out great, without any help from a man. I'd say that if people want to have children, let them have it. Simply live in different houses so that when the relationship ends, there won't be any negativity out of it. By doing so, by getting the child used to going from one house to another, the child is taught about the frail nature of all things and of all relationships, doesn't end up emotionally damaged, and will save a lot of $$, time, and emotions by not dedicating to a relationship when grown up. Edited March 30, 2011 by Mr.Cairo
Els Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 I think that often people are looking at dating from two totally different places. To me, no, I don't think there's anything wrong with going out with someone you know is not going to be your life partner. Just liking their company, sex, something to do is enough, in my opinion, because you never promised them anything more than that. I would not expect any more back either, just because we were dating. There is at the time no goal, it's just enjoying yourself in the present. No. I see nothing wrong with a 'casual fling', assuming both parties know that it is just that. However, what the OP says is 'She will probably date the non-ideal guy and trade him in for a better option when one comes along.' Now THIS I find absolutely disgusting. It's like using someone as a placeholder UNTIL someone comes along, for an indefinite amount of time. I might consider that okay if it were made known to both parties that it was just a temporary thing. But in the OP's scenario it could stretch on for years and the other party is lulled into thinking they have a full-fledged relationship when his/her partner 'trades him/her in for someone better' a few years down the line... I'm sorry, but I think there has to be something fundamentally wrong with someone to be capable of doing that to another human.
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Please. You two both take over almost every thread you appear in and make them all about yourselves. UF, for one, has literally called women trashbags, made statements about all American women being bad mothers, and figuratively compared women to slugs. This particular thread was about maturing women over thirty and their dating options in regards to what some view as diminishing attractiveness, and suddenly the last few pages have devolved into calling women gold-diggers, cheaters and psychos who lie and steal money and ruin men's lives. The focus is ridiculously off. THAT is why you are called misogynistic. Brainygirl has similar tales of woe, of being used and hurt and abused and jacked around by her (ex) husband. He continues to hurt her through their KIDS, which is a hurt deeper than most childless posters can quite imagine. She comes here to vent sometimes, and she vents about THE man who hurt her, not every man in America. I was raped, and I had a hard time dealing with it, not too surprisingly. I was angry, and bitter, and hurt, and had difficulty trusting men for a long time. Yet I'm pretty sure that if I came on here ranting and generalizing all men as rapists, the guys on here would be offended--and rightly so. Because that would not only be wrong, it would be offensive, a concept some of you seem to have difficulty grasping. Man, I have grown so sick of the sh*t you guys smear all over these boards. Ever wonder why I am on here less and less? First time I replied to this I was focused on being nice because you have always been nice to me. Yes this thread is all about the options of women over 30. Do they go up? Do they go down? Fact is that it depends on the woman and we all know that. The conversation ends at that. Fact is that for you and some other female posters you can only accept this narrow window of male attitudes. Anything that deviates from what you want irritates you. Well... you can stuff it! You routinely ignore women with actually offensive beliefs and ACTIONS!! Just in this thread someone suggested using guys as placeholders... and that's totally fine by you. Instead you want to try and call me out for sharing a story about my ex with Woggle? Maybe the real problem here is people acting like you. Just a though.
Woggle Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 First time I replied to this I was focused on being nice because you have always been nice to me. Yes this thread is all about the options of women over 30. Do they go up? Do they go down? Fact is that it depends on the woman and we all know that. The conversation ends at that. Fact is that for you and some other female posters you can only accept this narrow window of male attitudes. Anything that deviates from what you want irritates you. Well... you can stuff it! You routinely ignore women with actually offensive beliefs and ACTIONS!! Just in this thread someone suggested using guys as placeholders... and that's totally fine by you. Instead you want to try and call me out for sharing a story about my ex with Woggle? Maybe the real problem here is people acting like you. Just a though. To be fair Stung has never shown any signs of being a misandrist so I think you are being a bit unfair. That being said I find it interesting how Elswyth is the only woman in this thread to come out against using people as placeholders.
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 To be fair Stung has never shown any signs of being a misandrist so I think you are being a bit unfair. That being said I find it interesting how Elswyth is the only woman in this thread to come out against using people as placeholders. Stung is a nice lady... probably a better person than I am. I actually like Mme Chaucer too... They along with MANY other female posters here tend to read into things that are not said... and focus so exclusively on the male attitudes they find offensive, they passively approve of the horrible things the women say they actually do. I called Kamille out on this before. Gets all angsty and upset because some guy says he feels like women are too shallow... Yet has nothing to say when a woman admits she is cheating on her BF. Don't we hammer the guys being jerkoffs just as hard? I think I do. If not... I would appreciate it if someone told me.
Woggle Posted March 30, 2011 Posted March 30, 2011 Stung is a nice lady... probably a better person than I am. I actually like Mme Chaucer too... They along with MANY other female posters here tend to read into things that are not said... and focus so exclusively on the male attitudes they find offensive, they passively approve of the horrible things the women say they actually do. I called Kamille out on this before. Gets all angsty and upset because some guy says he feels like women are too shallow... Yet has nothing to say when a woman admits she is cheating on her BF. Don't we hammer the guys being jerkoffs just as hard? I think I do. If not... I would appreciate it if someone told me. I do as well. I said in another thread that if men simply wanted arm candy without caring about anything else they deserve what they get but turn the focus in other direction and I am branded a misogynist.
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