It must be tough for a woman

[GooseChaser]

Sure why not?

 

A late bloomer eh? In what way? Physically, mentally, socially? From what I've seen, most girls start dating in High School. So it seems a little odd, at least to me, to see a woman in her 20's who isn't.

 

I've been called a late bloomer myself. Not physically or mentally but socially. I've been trying to date girls since I was 16, but nobody wanted me.

Yep! I would also say that I was a late bloomer socially. I had crushes in high school, but nothing ever came of it. One reason for that is that I was never asked out. In addition, I was shy, socially awkward, unconfident, and had no idea how to flirt, so I got stuck in the friend zone plenty. It's been a few years now since high school, and I'm happy to say that I've come a long way.

 

What's wrong with looking for fun? I don't think women should be looking to meet their husbands when they are that young.

I didn't say there was anything wrong with it. In fact, I've had my share of fun during this past year. However, I have found that just fun isn't what I want. The guys that want just fun are looking for something different than I am. I want to find a guy that would be proud to call me his girlfriend and to have me call him my boyfriend. I want someone who really cares and values me as a person, and whom I can do the same for. As for myself, I may be young, but I want to stick by my values. I don't expect to meet my future husband on every date I go on, but I still must aim to be responsible and make good decisions about whom I date and how I behave. These decisions have an impact not only on myself, but on others around me as well.

 

Your situation makes sense. And it's a valid reason for not wanting to date. I did the same thing, going away to a university after I got out of JC. But the girls at the Uni should be open to dating, unless they are graduating soon or something.

Yes, I plan to be very open to dating at the university! To be fair, I will probably wait for some time before starting to date, though, because I need to give myself time to adjust to the new place and to get comfortable. I look forward to the experience!

[somedude81]

And resentment leads to more problems. What if the woman/women who reject you wind up finding about your little adventures on the internet? Do you think they'd like to be thought of as 'bitches' and other slurs? Don't you think that'd make them warn every woman to stay away from you(maybe not a bad idea)?

I fail to see how anybody who reads about me online can make the connection to who I am in real life.

 

Calling a woman a bitch was done out of anger. Surely I'm not the only man who's every done it

 

Why should a woman be warned to stay away from me? Have I yelled at them, used them, beat them? Of course not.

 

But that's not the bad part. Having this mentality about women will make your life even harder in the long run. You're going to end up working with women or for women. You are going to see women with their boyfriends and their husbands and their ONS and rage inside about it.

 

If you don't want to end up like Sodini, you have to let go of these dark and poisonous emotions and desires.

That is much, much harder than it seems. I've been in therapy for years. It's a waste of time and money.

 

I will never become like Sodoni simply because I won't let this go on for too much longer.

 

I know that you'd like to have an attractive girlfriend. Everyone would like an attractive partner. I'd like to buy a castle in Scotland. I'll never get it. I accept it and move on, I accept the little joys of life.

I just want a girl who's fun and who doesn't turn me off. As I mentioned before, about 80% of the women on my campus meet those criteria.

Concentrate in getting your education, marry the homely girl pining for you and be happy. Not everyone can be Brad Pitt and even Brad Pitt has problems.

That's what I'm trying to do. I need to focus on school. I don't think that I'll ever have a girl pining for me though.

They should mate with the best of the best out there, and if that means that the average joe has to date an obese woman, so be it. Especially when that average joe can't even be considered average due to his stature.

As SteveC80 mentioned, I have no idea what league I'm in.

 

As for settling. A major point of this thread, is that people can't help who they are attracted to.

 

Just as how I don't expect a woman to settle for me because I don't give her sparks, I'm not going to settle for an obese woman for the very same reason.

 

I'd rather be alone than be with somebody who repulses me. I'm sure the woman would feel the same way. Not wanting to be with somebody who is disgusted by her.

[Mr.Cairo]

I agree with you in that regard. There is more to a relationship than just sexual attraction. Emotional compatibility, the same goals, the same interests and so forth. But if there's no sexual attraction a relationship cannot be formed. There are several facets to sexual attraction. A very intelligent man can arouse sexual response from an attractive and intellectual woman.

 

Do you see that happen often? I don't doubt that it happens, but I don't advise people to go after the more attractive people. A guy has George Clooney looks? Aim for a very attractive woman? Are you the Prom Queen? Date the Quarterback. Don't go for the average guy. Too much disparity. A woman should have as many high requirements in a man as possible.

 

Remember that women are the holders of life. They should mate with the best of the best out there, and if that means that the average joe has to date an obese woman, so be it. Especially when that average joe can't even be considered average due to his stature. Nearly every woman isn't interested in a guy whose height can even be inferior to the typical 10 year old European boy.

 

Therefore Somedude81 must conform to what he can have, and settle. Settling is good. No unrealistic expectations, no drama, and no heart break.

 

And for the guys who think that 'The Game' works: it's just a tool to make women feel bad about themselves. A woman with self-love would never fall for those cheesy PUA acts. They're ridiculous and only make the guy look like a monkey. Stop trying to get the Queen, go for the maid. You are not the Prince.

 

You're again making attractiveness out to be linear and universal. What somedude81 should do is figure out what parts of his life he is happy with and what parts of it he should change for the better. Then, he can figure out what kind of girl he would be compatible with, because, likely as not she would be equally interested in him.

 

Every guy should feel as though he's getting the queen. His queen, not who you think is "the queen". I am fairly confident that there are several women who somedude81 thinks are attractive that you wouldn't give the time of day to, and vice-versa.

 

I'm sure being short can be detrimental to a guy's overall attractiveness, but I doubt that's it's the end all be all. You think the short (4'11") Indonesian girl I know wants to date a 6'5" college basketball star? I mean really?

 

All this talk about leagues and making sure women choose the best possible mate in terms of height and physical attractiveness and all of that sounds an awful lot like the National Socialists in Germany in the 1930s. Or the eugenics movement. I'm not saying, I'm just saying.

 

That's like saying natural selection was unfair and wrong. Can I remind you that you are the result of natural selection? That only a few males, from the first day Mankind appeared, managed to reproduce whereas most women reproduced?

 

It wasn't for lack of desire, I can tell you that. Only the strongest and the brightest managed to do it. It turned out fine. Look how much more developed we are. Look at what we've accomplished. Women selected the men whose genes we have inside of us. They did the right thing by listening to how nature made them to be: look out for the improvement of the Species.

 

There's nothing Nazi about it. What Hitler did was completely different. He wanted to have the power to decide who has children and not. That's to go against nature. Women must be the judges of sex and reproduction, not a guy.

 

If a woman decides that Gypsies are genetically viable, then yeah, they should reproduce with Gypsies, but height and frame makes a woman feel feminine and protected and it does feel good to be able to pick a woman up and to feel like a man. Not only by being capable of this but by being physically bigger than most guys.

 

You don't think women should feel better about themselves? What's wrong with them wanting to dress nice? Can't they smell well? They're pepping themselves up to attract the best males. It's the law of nature. I see guys spending a lot of their time in the Gym to become bigger. It's not a one way street. We expect women to want us?

 

Grow taller. Grow larger. Why are the Dutch and the Swedes so tall? Because of natural selection. We could talk about the food and the economical factors, but the Spanish people and the Portuguese people are among the shortest of the EU. I think that the women from those Countries are an inch less than them.

 

How can I feel attraction for a woman my height or nearly my height? I'm not interested in guys. Guys are in my height range. I'm interested in women and women are short, thin, and make me FEEL masculine.

 

Funny that you speak of a 4'11 with a guy that tall. A friend of mine is 7 feet tall and is dating a 4'11'' woman. It's rather cute to see them together. And a great match. All of the women from his girlfriend's family are short. The tallest men are 5'7''. With his 7 feet tall genes he'll probably make tall babies, not as tall as him, but pretty tall.

 

I'm also reminded of a German couple I once saw. The guy was easily almost 7 feet and the woman was more than 6 feet tall. Why wasn't she dating a guy below her height? Lack of attraction. I'm sure she could have found a guy to share her values, goals, and academical background but shorter than her.

 

She raised her requirements. She wanted a guy with all of that and taller than her. He's even taller than her when she's on her heels. I also remember another couple, this time Swedish. Both in their early 20's. Besides the fact that they were amazingly gorgeous, the man and the woman were fairly tall. Guy was 6'5'' and she was 6 feet tall. They quickly overshadowed every other couple near us.

 

I know of one very pretty 18 year old girl who, despite being the center of attention of every male she knows, she never had a boyfriend because it's not that easy to find a guy who is 6'4'', 18 year olds, and interested in a serious relationship.

 

It would be kinda unnatural to see this woman with a shorter guy. I don't know, I'm sure that there are plenty of happy couples where the woman is taller than the male, but in my family the male has always been - and by far - taller than the woman.

 

And guess what? The women in my family are crazy in love with their mates ,even as the decades go by.

 

I confess to having a woman's height more into account in terms of how much I am attracted to her than I am to the size of her breasts or how pretty her face is.

 

Nothing can change biology, and when people try they miserably fail.

[Woggle]

Charles Manson got a bunch of women to follow him as if her were Jesus Christ. Ted Bundy got a bunch of women to want to date him after brutally murdering women. Do you really want to be like these guys. Some and the key word being some women lose all sense when it comes to men.

[Darren Taylor]

Charles Manson got a bunch of women to follow him as if her were Jesus Christ. Ted Bundy got a bunch of women to want to date him after brutally murdering women. Do you really want to be like these guys. Some and the key word being some women lose all sense when it comes to men.

 

 

Don't forget that when Scott Peterson first arrived in prison, he had women write love letters to him while he was in a state pen in northern California.

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

The truth is that violence attracts some women.

 

As to why, I have no idea. But there is no denying that it exists.

 

I've often wondered why intelligent, beautiful women mate with stupid, ugly (on the inside) men, instead of the smart and intelligent geeks. Occasionally, I'll see a difference, but most often these women are drawn to abusive drug addicts.

 

No, I don't get it, either.

 

If I have to settle for a stupid, obese, and unattractive (in every way) woman, because I happen to be a "geek", I'd rather be alone. I look for intelligence and beauty in women. This doesn't necessarily mean she has to be a model, and I've been attracted to chubby and nerdy girls before, but the difference between someone like that, and someone who's fat and plain faced, is that I find the beautiful girl...well, beautiful. And I'm drawn to intelligence.

 

I wonder if logical intelligence in women replaces common sense. There is no other explanation I can figure out for bad choices in men that these women make.

[fortyninethousand322]

That's like saying natural selection was unfair and wrong. Can I remind you that you are the result of natural selection? That only a few males, from the first day Mankind appeared, managed to reproduce whereas most women reproduced?

 

It wasn't for lack of desire, I can tell you that. Only the strongest and the brightest managed to do it. It turned out fine. Look how much more developed we are. Look at what we've accomplished. Women selected the men whose genes we have inside of us. They did the right thing by listening to how nature made them to be: look out for the improvement of the Species.

 

There's nothing Nazi about it. What Hitler did was completely different. He wanted to have the power to decide who has children and not. That's to go against nature. Women must be the judges of sex and reproduction, not a guy.

 

If a woman decides that Gypsies are genetically viable, then yeah, they should reproduce with Gypsies, but height and frame makes a woman feel feminine and protected and it does feel good to be able to pick a woman up and to feel like a man. Not only by being capable of this but by being physically bigger than most guys.

 

You don't think women should feel better about themselves? What's wrong with them wanting to dress nice? Can't they smell well? They're pepping themselves up to attract the best males. It's the law of nature. I see guys spending a lot of their time in the Gym to become bigger. It's not a one way street. We expect women to want us?

 

Grow taller. Grow larger. Why are the Dutch and the Swedes so tall? Because of natural selection. We could talk about the food and the economical factors, but the Spanish people and the Portuguese people are among the shortest of the EU. I think that the women from those Countries are an inch less than them.

 

How can I feel attraction for a woman my height or nearly my height? I'm not interested in guys. Guys are in my height range. I'm interested in women and women are short, thin, and make me FEEL masculine.

 

Funny that you speak of a 4'11 with a guy that tall. A friend of mine is 7 feet tall and is dating a 4'11'' woman. It's rather cute to see them together. And a great match. All of the women from his girlfriend's family are short. The tallest men are 5'7''. With his 7 feet tall genes he'll probably make tall babies, not as tall as him, but pretty tall.

 

I'm also reminded of a German couple I once saw. The guy was easily almost 7 feet and the woman was more than 6 feet tall. Why wasn't she dating a guy below her height? Lack of attraction. I'm sure she could have found a guy to share her values, goals, and academical background but shorter than her.

 

She raised her requirements. She wanted a guy with all of that and taller than her. He's even taller than her when she's on her heels. I also remember another couple, this time Swedish. Both in their early 20's. Besides the fact that they were amazingly gorgeous, the man and the woman were fairly tall. Guy was 6'5'' and she was 6 feet tall. They quickly overshadowed every other couple near us.

 

I know of one very pretty 18 year old girl who, despite being the center of attention of every male she knows, she never had a boyfriend because it's not that easy to find a guy who is 6'4'', 18 year olds, and interested in a serious relationship.

 

It would be kinda unnatural to see this woman with a shorter guy. I don't know, I'm sure that there are plenty of happy couples where the woman is taller than the male, but in my family the male has always been - and by far - taller than the woman.

 

And guess what? The women in my family are crazy in love with their mates ,even as the decades go by.

 

I confess to having a woman's height more into account in terms of how much I am attracted to her than I am to the size of her breasts or how pretty her face is.

 

Nothing can change biology, and when people try they miserably fail.

 

I'm going to repeat this again: there are no universal values for what women find attractive. Same goes for men. I get the feeling you put way too much stock in the influence of biology and evolution on people's every day lives. And, even then it's a bunch of pseudo scientific fluff that probably works great on the uneducated. If that's how you really think you're certainly free to do so, but in my opinion humanity is more than a bunch of genes or biological urges.

 

Look, I love working out and having good sized muscles etc., but all this focus on height and strength is really short sighted. Remember, even Goliath found himself beaten (and killed) by a small Israelite boy who would grow up to have very little trouble with the ladies (well a different kind of trouble). Clearly we're going to have to agree to disagree on this issue, but I do hope the OP focuses on improving himself and making his own life better, and not on anything you've written in this thread. Have a good day.